One day at a time...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Lisle, IL
Posts: 11
One day at a time...
I'm not too sure how to spit this out...
My s/o was asked to speak at a open Al-Anon meeting and I was so proud of him! He was so excited since he celebrated his 1yr.
Then last week he asked me if I would come to listen to him. At first I had mixed feelings on this and thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea but he kept reassuring me that he wanted me to be there.
When I came into work I asked my manager for that sunday evening off. Q
uick side note... My manager is just a huge pain, I know what manager isn't, but I have had to constantly fight for my position. He's a puny guy that was bulled all through school and now that he has a bit of authority he makes everyone else miserable.
So... I ask him for the Sunday evening off, explaining that my s/o is speaking at a meeting. He looked at me and was like, "Becky, I have to watch my daughter at night and there's no one else to cove the shift so don't expect much."
He just got back from being on vacation for 9 days and for the last 3 wks all I have been doing is pulling a boat load of over time.
I mean really?! I work 3p-11p, which I don't get to spend any time with my daughter or family and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?
Straying from the subject... Sorry! If I even get to go to this meeting my s/o told me that I might hear things that I don't know about and that he's not proud of. I've always prided myself on being the person to look outside of the box, but what if?
I mean these things have molded him into the person he is now and it's too late to go back and change anything...
Anyway, sorry it's so long but I needed to just get this out in the open. Ty for letting me share!
My s/o was asked to speak at a open Al-Anon meeting and I was so proud of him! He was so excited since he celebrated his 1yr.
Then last week he asked me if I would come to listen to him. At first I had mixed feelings on this and thought that maybe it wasn't such a good idea but he kept reassuring me that he wanted me to be there.
When I came into work I asked my manager for that sunday evening off. Q
uick side note... My manager is just a huge pain, I know what manager isn't, but I have had to constantly fight for my position. He's a puny guy that was bulled all through school and now that he has a bit of authority he makes everyone else miserable.
So... I ask him for the Sunday evening off, explaining that my s/o is speaking at a meeting. He looked at me and was like, "Becky, I have to watch my daughter at night and there's no one else to cove the shift so don't expect much."
He just got back from being on vacation for 9 days and for the last 3 wks all I have been doing is pulling a boat load of over time.
I mean really?! I work 3p-11p, which I don't get to spend any time with my daughter or family and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you?
Straying from the subject... Sorry! If I even get to go to this meeting my s/o told me that I might hear things that I don't know about and that he's not proud of. I've always prided myself on being the person to look outside of the box, but what if?
I mean these things have molded him into the person he is now and it's too late to go back and change anything...
Anyway, sorry it's so long but I needed to just get this out in the open. Ty for letting me share!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Glad you are thinking this one through and looking for ESH.
You can get mad or you can accept that being there is not working out. Not only is your work schedule not opening up, but you have red flags about hearing what will be said.
It could be your HP is saying, "Wait, now is not the time."
Just my thoughts. Take what you want and leave the rest.
You can get mad or you can accept that being there is not working out. Not only is your work schedule not opening up, but you have red flags about hearing what will be said.
It could be your HP is saying, "Wait, now is not the time."
Just my thoughts. Take what you want and leave the rest.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
My stepmom sent me her one year speech because I couldn't make it, and I really wish I had not said I wanted to read it. She warned me ahead of time but I felt nothing would faze me, not after everything I've gone through with my daughter. I was wrong. She admitted doing a few things to my dad in the last year of his life, while he was battling for his life. Life threatening things he had no idea about it and she could be prosecuted for. I'm fighting a wave of anger right now, just thinking about it. I'll have to forgive her again for my own well being and it won't be easy.
Please proceed with caution. There have been a few stories in this and the other forum, about loved ones being blindsided beyond their ability to cope.
Please proceed with caution. There have been a few stories in this and the other forum, about loved ones being blindsided beyond their ability to cope.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Lisle, IL
Posts: 11
I just feel like living with an alcoholic father is different from someone who had really nothing worth losing other than their life, just gamble that away.
Chino- I am so sorry to hear about that. I cant not even imagine what your going through, but these are the things that I am concerned about.
I dont' know everything from his past and while I know it's made him into the person he is today, somethings are maybe better left in the past.
Sojouner- Thank you too for giving me a different perspective.
Chino- I am so sorry to hear about that. I cant not even imagine what your going through, but these are the things that I am concerned about.
I dont' know everything from his past and while I know it's made him into the person he is today, somethings are maybe better left in the past.
Sojouner- Thank you too for giving me a different perspective.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: hot as heck, az
Posts: 142
I know usually when I have to move hell and earth to try to schedule something, chances are I'm more stressed out about it than enjoying it.
I agree with others' comments, sometimes there are things we don't want to know. My AGF promised me she unloaded all the "big stuff" of things she did before she got clean, but she was an addict a long time before she met me... do I really want to know the dirty details of things that she did before we met?
The other day we were meeting with her therapist for a joint session and we were talking about work. She wants to return to her job she had prior to rehab. Her therapist seemed taken aback when this was mentioned and they talked something they've talked about in their one to one sessions. Bottom line I found out the main reason my AGF took the jobs she did is b/c "they were easy and I could do them high". It may not be a motherlode of info, but I was a little shocked and it was yet again a little piece of her I never knew.
Anyway, if you don't want to know the full details, then go with your gut. For me, like others here, I'd prefer some things to remain in the past.
I agree with others' comments, sometimes there are things we don't want to know. My AGF promised me she unloaded all the "big stuff" of things she did before she got clean, but she was an addict a long time before she met me... do I really want to know the dirty details of things that she did before we met?
The other day we were meeting with her therapist for a joint session and we were talking about work. She wants to return to her job she had prior to rehab. Her therapist seemed taken aback when this was mentioned and they talked something they've talked about in their one to one sessions. Bottom line I found out the main reason my AGF took the jobs she did is b/c "they were easy and I could do them high". It may not be a motherlode of info, but I was a little shocked and it was yet again a little piece of her I never knew.
Anyway, if you don't want to know the full details, then go with your gut. For me, like others here, I'd prefer some things to remain in the past.
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