Baffled how we got here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: currently residing in Thailand
Posts: 2
Baffled how we got here
Im 21yrs old, and recently found out my mom has started using meth. At least i think it's meth...
3 months ago my mom got in a pretty bad car accident. She was diagnosed with PTSD and suffered panic attacks and anxiety. The doctors had prescribed her many different anti depressants and medications. I was away at school for most of the process, but somewhere between the accident and now, she has started using meth.
Earlier this year she took in a coworker who lost his house and has a severe drug problem. My guess is my mom approached him about using his drugs at some point.
Im baffled because i've never known my mom to use any drugs until this last year. She started smoking weed very frequently and after the accident started smoking cigarettes, taking a pharmacy of medications, and apparently meth.
My younger sister told me my mom had asked her about ecstasy too.
Right now i am in Thailand, and ill be going home in 2 weeks. My sister, who is 19 has been keeping me updated on my mom, and told me that she confronted her the other day after reading text messages in her phone and my mom told her she had only tried it once or twice on her days off and told her it was between the two of them...
She has lost a lot of weight, hygiene has gone out the window, she picks at scabs on her face, has taken a sudden interest in the news and seems very paranoid, she is pale and her face is sunken in...i dont know how much is actually PTSD or if she is actually just using more than she leads on and using her mental illness as a cop out or cover story.
Ive done a little research on meth, but im just so confused and baffled how my mom could, at 55 all of a sudden take up such an extreme drug. I can probably recall the number of times ive seen my mom drink. She has never been anything but attentive, hard working, motivated...i dont get it...and i dont really know how to approach the whole situation.
3 months ago my mom got in a pretty bad car accident. She was diagnosed with PTSD and suffered panic attacks and anxiety. The doctors had prescribed her many different anti depressants and medications. I was away at school for most of the process, but somewhere between the accident and now, she has started using meth.
Earlier this year she took in a coworker who lost his house and has a severe drug problem. My guess is my mom approached him about using his drugs at some point.
Im baffled because i've never known my mom to use any drugs until this last year. She started smoking weed very frequently and after the accident started smoking cigarettes, taking a pharmacy of medications, and apparently meth.
My younger sister told me my mom had asked her about ecstasy too.
Right now i am in Thailand, and ill be going home in 2 weeks. My sister, who is 19 has been keeping me updated on my mom, and told me that she confronted her the other day after reading text messages in her phone and my mom told her she had only tried it once or twice on her days off and told her it was between the two of them...
She has lost a lot of weight, hygiene has gone out the window, she picks at scabs on her face, has taken a sudden interest in the news and seems very paranoid, she is pale and her face is sunken in...i dont know how much is actually PTSD or if she is actually just using more than she leads on and using her mental illness as a cop out or cover story.
Ive done a little research on meth, but im just so confused and baffled how my mom could, at 55 all of a sudden take up such an extreme drug. I can probably recall the number of times ive seen my mom drink. She has never been anything but attentive, hard working, motivated...i dont get it...and i dont really know how to approach the whole situation.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
It all sounds very shocking Juuboo. But it happens more often than you'd think. You are not alone. I'm glad you found this website for support. Meth is as bad as everything you've read said it is so be careful and protect yourself and your personal belongings. When on it, people are completely delusional and paranoid and there is no reasoning with them. So please be careful around your mom if she is high. Also, do not believe a word she says. Addicts lie. That's just part and parcel of the addiction. They will say ANYTHING so they can continue feeding their addiction.
When you get back from Thailand, I think it would be very helpful for you and your sister to look into an alanon or naranon meeting. It's a face to face support group for friends and family members of addicts. Also, you may want to meet with a family counselor who specializes in addiction to get a little guidance for the two of you.
If your mom wants to quit that's one thing. But it doesn't sound like she's there yet and no ammount of cajoling, begging or tears will help her get to that point. So first off, focus on getting help for you and your sister to deal with your crisis and your situations. Everything else will fall into place.
When you get back from Thailand, I think it would be very helpful for you and your sister to look into an alanon or naranon meeting. It's a face to face support group for friends and family members of addicts. Also, you may want to meet with a family counselor who specializes in addiction to get a little guidance for the two of you.
If your mom wants to quit that's one thing. But it doesn't sound like she's there yet and no ammount of cajoling, begging or tears will help her get to that point. So first off, focus on getting help for you and your sister to deal with your crisis and your situations. Everything else will fall into place.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Back when I used to drag my daughter to AA meets. I was blown away by the stories of people my own ( and your monm's) age who had managed to become addicted to crack and Meth and their recovery.
All had long histories of what most would consider functional alcoholism which became the gateway to weed and pills and then the Big Time. In no time, they drained their bank acocunts, stole from their freinds and families, prostituted themselves and had spun out of control. Being charged and convicted of shop lifting and/or multiple DUIs seemed to serve as the moment of truth. For many, the bottom never comes.
You did not cause this.
You cannot control this.
You cannot cure this.
If your and/or your sister's education dependson a bank account that you mom controls, it might be best to attempt to take control of it. Protect your credit cards and SSN. ( and yeah, we all appreciate how bizarre this is)
Is there a dad or other family members in the picture?
I also recommend that you find the nearest Alanon meeting and take your sister and go. You guys are going to need all the support you can get cause mom is on a downward spiral and will take you and your sister along for the ride, if you allow this to happen..
You have no control over her. You do control your reactions to this insanity.
All had long histories of what most would consider functional alcoholism which became the gateway to weed and pills and then the Big Time. In no time, they drained their bank acocunts, stole from their freinds and families, prostituted themselves and had spun out of control. Being charged and convicted of shop lifting and/or multiple DUIs seemed to serve as the moment of truth. For many, the bottom never comes.
You did not cause this.
You cannot control this.
You cannot cure this.
If your and/or your sister's education dependson a bank account that you mom controls, it might be best to attempt to take control of it. Protect your credit cards and SSN. ( and yeah, we all appreciate how bizarre this is)
Is there a dad or other family members in the picture?
I also recommend that you find the nearest Alanon meeting and take your sister and go. You guys are going to need all the support you can get cause mom is on a downward spiral and will take you and your sister along for the ride, if you allow this to happen..
You have no control over her. You do control your reactions to this insanity.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 390
She has lost a lot of weight, hygiene has gone out the window, she picks at scabs on her face, has taken a sudden interest in the news and seems very paranoid, she is pale and her face is sunken in
This is a huge sign that she is using large amounts of meth. I am sorry. I know because I've personally been through this - as my husband decided to take up this crap in his late 30's. He was a normal guy, but he allowed something atrocious into his life, for whatever reason, and it has destroyed him and everything around him.
I am so sad and concerned for you and your sister. I would assume that your sister is probably somewhat dependent on your mother at 19, but it would be wise to find a way to get her into a safe place when you return home. The suggestion of checking into resources is a good one. I wish I could say that an intervention or something could get your mother into rehab, but unfortunately people in those situations often think they are just fine. It is crazy scary and maddening. There is no rationalization whatsoever! You can wrack your brain endlessly trying to figure it all out, but it is a waste of time. Your thoughts and time are better served dealing with the facts and going from there.
My heart hurts for you both. I simply can't imagine. ****{HUGS}}}
This is a huge sign that she is using large amounts of meth. I am sorry. I know because I've personally been through this - as my husband decided to take up this crap in his late 30's. He was a normal guy, but he allowed something atrocious into his life, for whatever reason, and it has destroyed him and everything around him.
I am so sad and concerned for you and your sister. I would assume that your sister is probably somewhat dependent on your mother at 19, but it would be wise to find a way to get her into a safe place when you return home. The suggestion of checking into resources is a good one. I wish I could say that an intervention or something could get your mother into rehab, but unfortunately people in those situations often think they are just fine. It is crazy scary and maddening. There is no rationalization whatsoever! You can wrack your brain endlessly trying to figure it all out, but it is a waste of time. Your thoughts and time are better served dealing with the facts and going from there.
My heart hurts for you both. I simply can't imagine. ****{HUGS}}}
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: currently residing in Thailand
Posts: 2
Thank you all so much for your advice.
I will be home in 2 weeks, and see the latest damage for myself.
My sister lives at home and is completely dependent on my mom...
I havent been dependent on my mom in a long time but i dont know that i have the funds or ability to get my sister out of there.
I am entering my senior year of college on the 21st and live in a different part of the state.
Any advice on how to approach my mom? I know she is in denial, and i know my sister is very easily manipulated and naive and doesn't want to have too much conflict because my mom is her only parent at all and always has been...
I dont want to be a sop story, but i dont know how to balance all aspects of the situation. My own life and education, my sisters life and education and my moms health...
Thank you in advance for your advice and support again.
I will be home in 2 weeks, and see the latest damage for myself.
My sister lives at home and is completely dependent on my mom...
I havent been dependent on my mom in a long time but i dont know that i have the funds or ability to get my sister out of there.
I am entering my senior year of college on the 21st and live in a different part of the state.
Any advice on how to approach my mom? I know she is in denial, and i know my sister is very easily manipulated and naive and doesn't want to have too much conflict because my mom is her only parent at all and always has been...
I dont want to be a sop story, but i dont know how to balance all aspects of the situation. My own life and education, my sisters life and education and my moms health...
Thank you in advance for your advice and support again.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Any advice on how to approach my mom?
If you are so inclined, you may want to call a licensed addiction counselor or a rehab center to get some advice. But unfortunately, it will do little good until your mom is truly ready to quit using and seeks help on her own.
I think it would be a great idea to reassure your sister that no matter what BAD choices mom is making, she is going to be ok as long as she makes wise choices. Let her know that it's not her responsibility to take care of her mother. I'd then talk about her goals and her future.
You and your sister are the one who needs support. You two are the ones in crisis. Not your mother. Have you looked into Alanon meetings in the area yet? That would be a great place for you and your sister to find some face to face support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome to SR juuboo.....as always though.....I am so sorry for the circumstances that bring you here.
I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you to be away from home and be receiving reports that are alarming about your mother.
As others have said before, people who are addicted to drugs really don't recognize that they have a problem. Meth is a particularly difficult drug because the user thinks that it helps them think more clearly, gives them energy and vitality, provides them with the ability to concentrate and generally elevates their mood. Try talking someone out of something that seems to do all of those things for them! What the user doesn't see but everyone else around them sees is what it is doing to their brain and the toll it is taking on their body.
Until you get home and can see what is going on for yourself, try not to worry too much. Where does your mother live? Is she in Thailand too? Unfortunately I don't know what kinds of resources are available to you there. Here in the States there are lots of resources but I am at a loss as to where to direct you in Thailand.
Keep reading. Keep posting. Let us know how you are doing and what you find when you get home. Take it one day at a time. All of us here understand what it is like to love someone who is addicted to drugs. You are not alone.
gentle hugs
ke
I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you to be away from home and be receiving reports that are alarming about your mother.
As others have said before, people who are addicted to drugs really don't recognize that they have a problem. Meth is a particularly difficult drug because the user thinks that it helps them think more clearly, gives them energy and vitality, provides them with the ability to concentrate and generally elevates their mood. Try talking someone out of something that seems to do all of those things for them! What the user doesn't see but everyone else around them sees is what it is doing to their brain and the toll it is taking on their body.
Until you get home and can see what is going on for yourself, try not to worry too much. Where does your mother live? Is she in Thailand too? Unfortunately I don't know what kinds of resources are available to you there. Here in the States there are lots of resources but I am at a loss as to where to direct you in Thailand.
Keep reading. Keep posting. Let us know how you are doing and what you find when you get home. Take it one day at a time. All of us here understand what it is like to love someone who is addicted to drugs. You are not alone.
gentle hugs
ke
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
