i passed a big test
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 774
i passed a big test
wow. what a day. i am actually excited to be posting this. it feels big to me, like i have graduated to another level. it will be about her, but only to get to the point about me.
it goes beyond the drugs and possibly to who she is and while it is saddening, its not for me. basically, she is into a new guy and setting up the scenario like she has many times before. the guy is friends with hte guy she is living with, all the more intrigue i suppose. one hour she is telling me how much she misses me and cant wait to see me, the next telling this guy how much she wants him. she may just be playing him, who knows.
the point is that when i was told all this, my reaction was-- eh. nothing. wasnt surprised. she did stuff like this before. and a light went off- do i want this? hell no. do i want to be with someone i can never trust? no. but here is the best part- i thought to myself, i deserve better. I said that about myself!?!? i realized, im a good..no....great person, i'm fit enough and look good enough and all that stuff, and deserve to get at least half of what i give. i realized if a gf lived 7 hours away, she would call sometimes and not to ask for money.
and as i had this thought, i thought of everyone who helped me along the way and how i wanted to share this with them and how i wish i could find those who arent on the board any more who helped too. i wanted to again thank you who can read this and those who arent logging on anymore. and maybe its not even to thank everyone, but to just say, hey, i crossed to the other side.
its sooo nice.
it goes beyond the drugs and possibly to who she is and while it is saddening, its not for me. basically, she is into a new guy and setting up the scenario like she has many times before. the guy is friends with hte guy she is living with, all the more intrigue i suppose. one hour she is telling me how much she misses me and cant wait to see me, the next telling this guy how much she wants him. she may just be playing him, who knows.
the point is that when i was told all this, my reaction was-- eh. nothing. wasnt surprised. she did stuff like this before. and a light went off- do i want this? hell no. do i want to be with someone i can never trust? no. but here is the best part- i thought to myself, i deserve better. I said that about myself!?!? i realized, im a good..no....great person, i'm fit enough and look good enough and all that stuff, and deserve to get at least half of what i give. i realized if a gf lived 7 hours away, she would call sometimes and not to ask for money.
and as i had this thought, i thought of everyone who helped me along the way and how i wanted to share this with them and how i wish i could find those who arent on the board any more who helped too. i wanted to again thank you who can read this and those who arent logging on anymore. and maybe its not even to thank everyone, but to just say, hey, i crossed to the other side.
its sooo nice.
Only one word comes to mind....Finally!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 136
That's wonderful! So happy to hear this from you, and you DO deserve more, much more than what you have been getting from her. Glad you finally realized how great of a person you are. It can only get better from this point!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
