Has anyone EVER quit without help??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 71
Has anyone EVER quit without help??
My AS "can quit on his own"
He thinks he is the 1 in a million to the rule...He has done this 1x before for about 4 months or so last year...Now of course it's a year later and he is in even deeper...
Does anyone know if this can ever happen? He can get through about 2 days or so ...then WHAM...
Anyone ever know of someone that has quit without ANY outside help???
He thinks he is the 1 in a million to the rule...He has done this 1x before for about 4 months or so last year...Now of course it's a year later and he is in even deeper...
Does anyone know if this can ever happen? He can get through about 2 days or so ...then WHAM...
Anyone ever know of someone that has quit without ANY outside help???
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
How is that working for him?
How are you taking care of you?
It seems to be the same old same old from your household.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Last I remember reading you were going to give him the boot, unless I'm thinking of someone else.
How are you taking care of you?
It seems to be the same old same old from your household.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Last I remember reading you were going to give him the boot, unless I'm thinking of someone else.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Some do get clean on their own, many do, and like those with a program many relapse too.
Personally, I have seen better success when people quit with a support program in place, whether it is AA or NA or another recovery program, or counseling and even SR here.
That said, I would not allow anyone in my home anymore who didn't have at least 6 months solid clean time....no matter how they got it. I did allow it for too many years with my son, he'd get clean and come back and relapse and have to leave and it just became an ongoing cycle of heartbreak and worry. No more for me, I had enough.
What helped me make better decisions was going to meetings and getting help for myself. I was one of those people who just could not do it on my own, no matter how hard I tried. So it's the same for us as them, we may be okay on our own but our odds improve with a program and support.
Hugs
Personally, I have seen better success when people quit with a support program in place, whether it is AA or NA or another recovery program, or counseling and even SR here.
That said, I would not allow anyone in my home anymore who didn't have at least 6 months solid clean time....no matter how they got it. I did allow it for too many years with my son, he'd get clean and come back and relapse and have to leave and it just became an ongoing cycle of heartbreak and worry. No more for me, I had enough.
What helped me make better decisions was going to meetings and getting help for myself. I was one of those people who just could not do it on my own, no matter how hard I tried. So it's the same for us as them, we may be okay on our own but our odds improve with a program and support.
Hugs
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Oh sure, my exabf quit at least 100 times, and all on his own, sometimes for a day, sometimes for a week, sometimes for a month or more. The only problem was, he started all over again.
He has been in rehab at least 10 times, in and out of AA, NA, CA twenty five times, and as of today he is still using. Why? Because he really has never wanted to recover, and I believe he will die an addict.
If it is so easy for your son to do it, why hasn't he? Why is he smoking spice?
You already know the answer to your question, your sons actions speak for themselves.
He has been in rehab at least 10 times, in and out of AA, NA, CA twenty five times, and as of today he is still using. Why? Because he really has never wanted to recover, and I believe he will die an addict.
If it is so easy for your son to do it, why hasn't he? Why is he smoking spice?
You already know the answer to your question, your sons actions speak for themselves.
Clever Yak
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ---
Posts: 4,360
Originally Posted by outtolunch 
Your son is pausing, not quitting.
However, it is possible to recover without a program like AA/NA. I do not actively participate in a program but I do gain support from this forum. Is it possible to quit forever without any help, be it a forum, a friend, or a program? Yes. Is it possible to recover without any help? No, I don't think so. Part of recovery is to feel humility and make amends to those you have hurt, I don't think that's possible without other people.
My father tried numerous times to quit and recover without anyone. He failed.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 136
I know several people who have stopped using drugs on their own without any help, and they never looked back. They have not only quit but also recovered from addiction because they have continued to focus on staying clean. But if your son has relapsed before, it is highly unlikely he will ever completely recover on his own. Remember that quitting is not recovery. Again, if he's already relapsed, it will happen again and again if he tries to do this on his own.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 14
Just over 9 years ago I found out that my AD was doing meth.. when confronted and was told she either got clean or would lose her daughter to me, I got custody for 2 years. I asked that it be 2 years so that I wouldn't be worried.
She quit cold turkey by herself.. The doctor, CPS (child protective services) who did the drug testing each month were very surprised that she did it by herself. They said most meth users wouldn't be able too do it alone.
She stayed clean for 9 years (until just a couple months ago), when I say clean it was from drugs only, she increased her alcohol intake after she stopped the drugs but then she met this ABF and boom, she is now using again. Her choice, just wish she would never have met him.
So yes some people can do it on their own, but I think some kind of rehab/program is the best bet.
She quit cold turkey by herself.. The doctor, CPS (child protective services) who did the drug testing each month were very surprised that she did it by herself. They said most meth users wouldn't be able too do it alone.
She stayed clean for 9 years (until just a couple months ago), when I say clean it was from drugs only, she increased her alcohol intake after she stopped the drugs but then she met this ABF and boom, she is now using again. Her choice, just wish she would never have met him.
So yes some people can do it on their own, but I think some kind of rehab/program is the best bet.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It occurred to me and I wanted to add...the ability to quit and stay quit is proportionate to the willingness to be clean and live a lifestyle that goes with it.
Programs help them find tools to cope with life on life's terms...after they quit. Programs help them learn new coping behaviours and recognize the behaviours that get them in trouble and lead to relapse. Programs teach them new ways of living in a clean environment and also helps them address mental health issues that may accompany addiction and these cannot be assessed until the addict stops using for a fair period of time.
Programs may not help them quit, but for those who can quit, a program may help them stay clean longer.
Hugs
Programs help them find tools to cope with life on life's terms...after they quit. Programs help them learn new coping behaviours and recognize the behaviours that get them in trouble and lead to relapse. Programs teach them new ways of living in a clean environment and also helps them address mental health issues that may accompany addiction and these cannot be assessed until the addict stops using for a fair period of time.
Programs may not help them quit, but for those who can quit, a program may help them stay clean longer.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Quitting isn't the problem. Staying quit is. I quit using many many times. In fact, I quit smoking crack about 4-5 times a week. Everytime I used was my last time. It wasn't until I got serious about recovery and started working a program that I was able to stay quit. I changed the people and places and things I associated with. I surrounded myself with recovering addicts. I attended meetings. I joined online groups. I prayed. I talked things over with other people in recovery. I was 110% committed to "not picking up no matter what". Even then it was incredibly hard. The drugs spoke to me in my mind. I relapsed. I had to learn new behaviors for every situation I was presented with. I retrained my brain. I perservered. I did what recovering addicts did because I wanted what recovering addicts had. Eventually I got it. I'm working on six years clean now. I couldn't imagine using again. The thought makes me sick. Yet I know a relapse is STILL only one bad decision away. That's why I still come to this site. It serves as a reminder of who I was and who I want to be.
So yes. I quit on my own. But I had to have the support of other addicts to learn how to do it and to succeed.
So yes. I quit on my own. But I had to have the support of other addicts to learn how to do it and to succeed.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by iwanttohelpher
She stayed clean for 9 years (until just a couple months ago), when I say clean it was from drugs only, she increased her alcohol intake after she stopped the drugs but then she met this ABF and boom, she is now using again.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 774
i have known and heard of people quitting on their own, but there are also all the people who get help but fall back to old habits. the addict in my life tells herself she is different. when she was working hte streets she would tell herself she was different from the other girls. i asked her how was she different. she'd say- look at them, i dont look like that, i keep myself looking good. maybe, except for the times when she looked as bad as anyone else out there. the further removed i become, the less hope for her i have.
she has several times tried it her way and has made it as afar as three weeks once. the moment she met another addict, she opened the door. she would say, i am doing coke not heroin; i only smoked crack this one more time to cope with the methadone withdraws. it is sad to see the depth of it all.
i am very glad to read the posts from those of you who have been there and managed to turn your lives around. that provides hope to everyone because i am sure many of you were as bad as the ones in our lives we hope will change. i also am thankful for the stories about the ones who have addicts in their lives who are able to find peace again. that is also inspiring.
back to the original question of someone stopping on their own- sure it is possible, but from what i am seeing, there are certain personality traits that may need to be in place. i think for most addicts, those traits may be lacking, which has caused the problem to continue. if someone has not been able to support themselves for years, how do they jsut get up one day and do it? it pains me to know how many people want that, but after a couple days, weeks, or however long, they slip back into the same mindset and lay themselves back down into the comforting arms of the life they know. the same applies for me and my situation. everyday is a different part of this journey and i dont know what will happen.
she has several times tried it her way and has made it as afar as three weeks once. the moment she met another addict, she opened the door. she would say, i am doing coke not heroin; i only smoked crack this one more time to cope with the methadone withdraws. it is sad to see the depth of it all.
i am very glad to read the posts from those of you who have been there and managed to turn your lives around. that provides hope to everyone because i am sure many of you were as bad as the ones in our lives we hope will change. i also am thankful for the stories about the ones who have addicts in their lives who are able to find peace again. that is also inspiring.
back to the original question of someone stopping on their own- sure it is possible, but from what i am seeing, there are certain personality traits that may need to be in place. i think for most addicts, those traits may be lacking, which has caused the problem to continue. if someone has not been able to support themselves for years, how do they jsut get up one day and do it? it pains me to know how many people want that, but after a couple days, weeks, or however long, they slip back into the same mindset and lay themselves back down into the comforting arms of the life they know. the same applies for me and my situation. everyday is a different part of this journey and i dont know what will happen.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
if someone has not been able to support themselves for years, how do they jsut get up one day and do it?
Addicts are incredibly resilient and resourceful. When they redirect all the energy spent living an addicts lifestyle into living a clean and sober lifestyle, they will be successful at it. It just has to be done one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 774
I wonder if there could be a difference though. some people are under-achievers, some people are go-getters. i think there may be a difference in that an addict who has been using for years and living the life of an addict has become used to that and there may be a lot of undoing and relearning to take care of. sure, they have become great at feeding the habit and doing all it takes to, but in that environment which has no regimented time structure, but try to give that person an regimented life on top of quitting, i dont think the outcome is good for most. this may go beyond drugs, as i said about under achievers. i agree that if they want to they can. i'm just saying that some people cant just wake up one day and change years of conditioning on their own.
maybe too i am looking at after the initial motivation. like with dieting or working out. of course anyone can do it and reach that goal as they see it, but how many times does the motivation just drop after a short time. eat greens for a few days , then the first burger again. exercise 5-6 days a week, then 3-4, then 1-2 then its done. same for quitting cigarettes. make it a month, have one, within a week or so back to the same old thing.
for any behavioral change, it runs so deep and can be so complex. some will win and some will lose no matter what. and that's probably related to why i posted- i just wish everyone could win and be happy.
maybe too i am looking at after the initial motivation. like with dieting or working out. of course anyone can do it and reach that goal as they see it, but how many times does the motivation just drop after a short time. eat greens for a few days , then the first burger again. exercise 5-6 days a week, then 3-4, then 1-2 then its done. same for quitting cigarettes. make it a month, have one, within a week or so back to the same old thing.
for any behavioral change, it runs so deep and can be so complex. some will win and some will lose no matter what. and that's probably related to why i posted- i just wish everyone could win and be happy.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Excuses get us recovering addicts nowhere. Good thing I didn't espouse the attitude you are putting forth here or I'd still be smoking crack in a nasty dark little hotel room somewhere. Or I'd be dead.
But I agree. Some people are complete losers and I hold out little hope for their recovery. My son's father is a good example of that. Narcissistic. Liar. Cheater. Manipulator. Drug addict. Probably in that order.
He decided, for whatever reason, he's rather keep using drugs than do whatever it takes to stay off drugs. He abandoned his son and every opportunity for help that he was ever offered.
His life.
His choice.
But I agree. Some people are complete losers and I hold out little hope for their recovery. My son's father is a good example of that. Narcissistic. Liar. Cheater. Manipulator. Drug addict. Probably in that order.
He decided, for whatever reason, he's rather keep using drugs than do whatever it takes to stay off drugs. He abandoned his son and every opportunity for help that he was ever offered.
His life.
His choice.
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