parentneedshelp

well its been awhile since i have been here... alot has happened in the past 5 months. My AD gave birth to twin girls they were both born addicted unfortantly and found out through all my research that adoption agency are CRAP they do not require the pregnant mother to go to any Dr appointments and do not do drug test. anyway off the subject.LOL. once she went to the hosptial they of course did a drug test and she tested positive. So DCF got involved finally and removed my granddaughter from her care before she even left the hospital.. The twins are doing ok one came home from the hospital and the other should be released this week. (we recieved all this info from the adoptive mother). So I guess I am just a bit lost right now. Everyone is telling me congratulations on getting the custody of my granddaughter but really how is that good. Trust me I know why they are saying it cause now my granddaughter will be safe but on the other side of that I had to go in front of a judge and tell him that MY daughter is not a good mother. I really think that is one of the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. I know what i did was the RIGHT thing to do but boy as a mother it has killed me inside... no one seems to understand all they look at is my gd being safe which is the right thing but not taking into consideration the pain that I am going through trying to deal with these emotions. I am also currently in contact with my AD probation officer to get her arrested for VOP. I even told her that my daughter left the state 2 weeks ago... seems like she got the nicest Probation officer in the world.. has never drug tested her has not even voilated her on not checking in which is going on 2 months now.. I just knew that you all would understand what I am going through more than people around me right now. thank you for letting me vent some just taking one day at a time and really trying to stick with Let go, Let GOD....

Freedom1990

It was very painful for me to realize what an unfit mother my AD was too.

I tried for years to get custody of my granddaughter, and by the time my grandson came along, I had given up. Social Services had proven to be worthless after I had repeatedly called them. Unless I was independently wealthy and could hire a high $$ attorney, I was out of luck.

I am so sorry for your pain, dear!

TMZ

It is so hard to let go and let God, I know.
You are doing what is right, even if it is hard.
Sorry for your pain, but through this pain they might learn and come to the light.

Sending strength and prayers !

iwanttohelpher

You took those very words right out of my mouth. I've said those words at least 100 times in the last week. I know exactly how you feel.

I too have an AAD that does not know that I talked to a lawyer last Tues. to see about starting custody proceedings for my GD. She still doesn't know that I know she has been using drugs.

She told me today that she has been going to AA (that's the first time), I hope she is, though I will believe it when I see it. She is moving back in with her ABF and that he is waiting to go into detox.

When she told me that she was doing this, I immediately called the lawyer this morning and told him, yes I want to retain you. Going in on Tues. morning to start the application and affidavit.

I took custody of her once before 9 years ago when she was using, the lawyer says that there shouldn't be a problem getting temporary custody. My only worry is that she is legally allowed to come and take her anytime. She's been in my care for the last 5 months. I'm somewhat worried she may do this.

I'm sorry I just realized I starting hijacking this thread with my own story. I'm so sorry.

Yes you are doing the right thing, and I do know how difficult it is, I thought turning her in 9 years ago was the hardest, but taking her to court this time is much more difficult. Like you said, no mother wants to say that her own daughter is Not a Good Mother.. It just breaks your heart to do it. The emotions are so mixed. Deep down we know it is the right thing to do, but we also have/had hope that our daughters would turn their life around and become the mother that their child needs. It hurts are hearts terribly to do this to them.

I'm not on everyday, but if you want to chat send me a PM and I will check it daily.

Ann

The children are the innocent victims and someone needs to be the voice of the child. Bless you for being that voice and taking care of this girl. I do know your pain and send hugs and lots of prayers for all of you.

God Bless the Child.

Hugs