One day you wake up and just know enough is enough
 

Hello again.

Nine months and 1 day ago there was a tap, tap tap on window that lead to me opening door, long story short, drunk aggressive, refused to leave (not violent this time but mean, nasty, scarey) police came said leave, next day obtained restraining order. Of course he was innocent I was mean wicked crazy woman....whatever.
Ive posted a few calls with kids made me uncomfortable, frightened, but that was it. Allegedly sober in sober house.
Last night there was a familiar tap, tap , tap on window. I turned on light, saw noone, yelled whos there silence, had to be standing close to door in my blindspot.
Echoing in my ears was judges words, "next time you open the door, just may be your last." I didnt think twice picked up the phone dialed 911, said someones outside, no car, please send someone to look around, my STBEXAH was served with a child support order recently and Im scared. She stayed on phone with me. I was trying to look out window, talking to her, person must have heard me, tried opening door knob, then loud kick to door, my 10 year old screamed, dogs went nuts, 911 operator heard it, confirmed officers werent on scene yet, were 30 seconds away....

They came around 1 corner, Im positive he just walked down sidewalk opposite way. Cops issued trespass warnings to kids in park by my fence, but it wasnt them , dogs werent concerned with them.
I had officers look in every shadow in yard and where I know Ive been stalked from across street, noone of course. He may have been there mocking us in the shadows....it wouldnt be first time.

The way the final kick to the door was, when he could hear me, that is very typical Ah behavior when Ive called police, parents anyone. The tapping was same rhythm I heard for years. No doubt in my mind it was him, but if anyone saw him they arent speaking.

I wish it was over, but was helped to realize my growth. 1 year ago, I would have let him in, heck 9 months ago I did. I definitely heard the Judges words, remembered the bailiffs hug and said dont let him get you, I remember everything we learned in DV support group. Ill never go back.

I cant predict when or if it will happen again, just always have a safety plan and never turn back, no regrets Im breaking through.

Thanks for reading

There is no doubt in my mind that you did the right thing. No matter how you cut it, he is sick, he is dangerous.

You are totally right, always have a safety plan, if unsure of what to do, always call 911.

This journey for you has been a long difficult one, I for one, am very proud of you! You finally have crossed over the bridge to freedom!

Hugs,

Very very scary......you were so smart not to open the door and to call 911. Better safe than sorry. Take care of you!

gentle hugs
ke

You did all the right things. Please keep yourself safe, there is no doubt in my mind that he is dangerous.

Hugs

act strong.

cuz you are.

brava

Well told tonite he's allegedly not in town. There is a chance it wasnt him. Still, showed I learned something, what if Id opened the door?

And if he was in town messing up, it would have been him, that's who he is.
Cynical one, I was looking into those things. Have individual alarms on windows...Love the work boots idea, have a friend, who I bet has an old pair he'd give me.

If he's outa town, for whatever reason hes got the injunction court looking for him for not doing eval or paying sanctions, and child support enforcement, he's digging a deeper hole. Time for me to let my higher power handle it all, and be prepared for anything from anyone

I almost feel guilty blaming him....but you know, not totally convinced it was not, MIL has been wrong when thought he was out of town before.

Butterfly....... just sending you support. What a great example for me to hear of how to take care of yourself. My husband has been very abusive towards me and we are apart as well.

Your post was a reminder for me to always have my back up plan. The DV people told me that same thing - that the next time I deal with him might be the last. Chilling stuff. Let's stay strong together.....

You are amazing. Law enforcement would rather get a call and find nothing than violence erupt and someone get hurt, I can guarantee.

Stay strong. Thank you for posting.

Thanks Latte, I always feel like a bother when I call police.

Lightseeker, yes lets stay strong together. I stopped Dv group because I couldnt handle some of the stories and my therapist said it was time to break free (I wanted to take everyone home, some drag out kicking and screaming.) but I realize more today how deep the emotional and mental strain was on me and even my sons.

That's why I started coming back here if by some miracle STXAH is out of town working and I start receiving childsupport, Im gonna need every reminder to stay strong as possible, and I didnt right down the bad as it was happening due to denial. I always want to remember the terror feeling (just never feel it again)

The rest of you above, Thanks, you guys have always veen there for me, I think my other name started here in 06, its been a long time.

There's a difference between remembering the bad to stay bitter and remembering it to stay safe. You sound like you have a healthy dose of remembering to stay safe.

I wouldn't be convinced it wasn't him just because MIL thinks not either...and certainly no guilt! You would never suspect him if he has not (time and time again) given you reason to believe it so. Stay strong, sweetie - you are an inspiration to others struggling with similar issues. :hug: