dollydo

Am I Being Abused



CHECKLIST (provided by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)

Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.

Does your partner…
____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____ Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
____ Call, text, or email you several times a day or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
____ Pressure you sexually for things you don't want to do?
____ Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship?
____ Prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with your friends or family?
____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a lesson"?


Do you…
____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner's behavior?
____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
____ Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke-up?


If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will continue.

laurie6781

Thank you Dolly!!!


Is there anyway this could be made a "Sticky"?

It certainly rings 'important' enough to me.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Ann

You betcha. I'll let it run here for a bit (where it is more easily seen) then sticky it for anyone wanting to refer to it and for newcomers to read when they arrive.

lightseeker

So glad to hear that this is going to be a sticky. I don't think that these questions can be posted too much on our site..... abuse is so prevelent and even more so when addiction is also present.

I will add....please please please if you recognize yourself or your partner in those questions REACH OUT. Let someone else know what is going on with you. It's important to have an accountability partner. Help is out there.

Dolly - thanks for being such a wonderful advocate for those that are in abusive relationships. It's people like you that helped to create a bridge that got me out of my abusive situation.

Donna

butterflyflight

I remember being in complete denial reading checklist denying the things happened. Many times in my domestic violence group we all had similar story, all usually left for kids or even dog, before ourselves. It wasnt until sitting together realizing we didnt have to be hospitilized to belong did we get it.

If you have a slight thought about any of these on the checklist and try to talk yourself out of it, I strongly urge you to attend a local abuse counsel's meeting. I was stronger with each one, and so myself in the mirror so many times. After 2 meetings I started having flashbacks about what life was really like, everything Id hidden in my selfconscious