Turning our son in... RA point of view???
 

My husbands Uncle and cousins are all sheriffs or police officers...
He wants to call his closest cousin and discuss our son..."off the record"
And then wants her to come over and "talk" to him...We have done "everything" short of turning him in ...DOC is H...he is now 21...
My husband thinks this will help...I think it will go in one ear and out the other...
NOTHING scares the "kid"...
Plus his mind is just not "all there"
Are there any RA's out there that have a view point on this? Would this of helped you when you were actively using??

Would it have helped? Not one bit.

He is going to do what he's going to do, just as I did what I was going to do.

You're not going to make him change, see the light, or be scared into staying straight.

You and hubby's time would be much better spent on recovery from your son's addictions.

If your son lives with you, there's another option besides turning him in and that's turning him out. If your relatives are local to your family, your son might end up answering to all of them soon enough.

Hugs and prayers for your family.

if only it were that easy. I'm a recovered addict. There was absolutely nothing anyone outside of me that could have got me sober.What boundaries do you have in place to protect you from your son's addiction?

and just curious, how is that 'turning him in'? It sounds more like when in high school they had ex addicts and cops come and do a 'hugsnot drugs' assembly..we'd laug and go get high.

if he's an active addict (not to mention a full grown adult), why's he living in your home anyways?

My spouse is old school...He thinks if you put your mind to it ...you can just quit.
He won't/can't make him leave... He has kicked him out one time only to have him return the next day as if nothing happened...
I have kicked him out many many times...only to have my spouse call and tell him to come home...
I KNOW this lil talk by his cousin the cop is not going to help...otherwise the lil talk by a friend who is was an addict for 25 years (now recovered) would of helped...
He will remain in our house until he goes to jail...that way my husband doesn't "have to be the bad guy"
EVERY one of my sons friend who have gotten out of jail ...started using within a day...
Little does my husband know that IF he goes to jail as a direct result of this lil talk...that I may be the one leaving...
EVEN a friend of ours who is a drug counselor told him not to get the cops involved...
GHEESH....when will this end?

It's a shame that your husband is so ill-informed on addiction, and thinks it's mind over matter.

You can't change your husband. You can't change your son.

Have you ever considered living somewhere else temporarily without the insanity, and leaving the two of them to be?

We've always got choices, though sometimes they all stink and we have to choose the one that stinks the least.

Nothing illegal about being an addict.

No grounds for arresting him.

Maybe the relatives could over and talk some sense into your husband who is enabling his son.

That would likely blow in one ear and out the other, too.

It's going to take a lot more than that! My son saw several of his friends come to the end of their young lives (OD, suicide, car accidents) and that did nothing to deter him. He would call crying over the phone each time one of his friends died and I'd think to myself how blessed I was it wasn't him who had died. I never in a million years would have dreamed my son was heading down the very same path those friends of his died on. He became addicted to vicodin and then heroin. How could he do that to himself when he had mourned the loss of so many friends? This disease is evil.

I guess he's never seen the brain scans of addicts.

The police will probably be involved eventually. For my son, the policeman that gave my son his two DUI's set in motion the end of his addiction. Hopefully it will forever be the end of his addictive drug usage. After two DUI's and wrecking his car on the way to see the judge, the judge said "enough already" and ordered our son to go to rehab (or jail but my son chose rehab). His lawyer told him just before he was to go to court that he was going to have to go to jail so my son went out and got high thinking if he was going to have to go to jail he might as well get high first. Totally crazy thinking but that's how addicts think. The judge, thank God, decided that rehab was the better choice for our son and he is now clean and sober. I am hoping he is ready now to really make a change and continue getting healthy again. It is good to see him in his right mind now, not fighting the demons that just one month ago controlled and consumed him.

Your son has only been clean for 1 month??...Is this his 1st time in rehab?
Been there... done ALL that...
nothing works...they just go right back to it...
The only way HE will change is if HE wants to...
Hope your son is the exception... :c031: I know mine is not...:gaah

WIworrier - you are between a rock and a hard spot, aren't you? You know what is the right thing to do as far as your son. You are right that having the relatives (who are also police officers) talk to him will do no good.

I'm clueless about how to handle this.

Yes, it is, and I pray every day it is permanent.