I'm new... please help me... I have no one to talk to...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 7
Bad day today... cannot stop frigging crying! He's on his way to his rehab intake... still not really talking to me... so my fear is if he can't/won't even talk to me, how the hell is he going to talk to a total stranger, or worse, a group of strangers?!?!?!?!
Went for a a long walk with him and the dog in 90+ heat. I did most of the talking... I told him my fears. He says he wants to work this out and have a normal life... sincere or just being a lying addict? Long talk with his mom while he was in the shower... says he's told her how bad he feels for what he's doing to me, but that he loves me...
I accept that I am a codependent... ordered the book... not sure how or when I am going to read it (must be done in secret of course)...
I can't find the motivation to look for apartments... it just depresses me... and do I look at apartments for just me... or I am optimistic and look for one for both of us and the dog so he can join me (so long as he completes the 5-week program, continues to see a counselor, and gets a job)????????
A lot of this is probably because I am off today... I work with the public and so pushing the happy button is easier when I am there... My mom is out today too, so today is the first day I have truly had to myself since the implosion...
He says he is going back to work on Wednesday... good or bad? Do we trust him? (He often has to do deliveries for his job)... he's pretty much been under house arrest.... well... more held in by his symptoms... but then again, it's like he said to me, "it doesn't matter how tight the leash is... if I want drugs, I will find a way to get them." Which I suppose is true.... eek.... He says he really wants to get in to this program, and that he wants it to work... his main concern is that it is mostly group sessions and not a lot of individual (he is kind of shy)....
I'm just all messed up today... help. :o( :o(
Went for a a long walk with him and the dog in 90+ heat. I did most of the talking... I told him my fears. He says he wants to work this out and have a normal life... sincere or just being a lying addict? Long talk with his mom while he was in the shower... says he's told her how bad he feels for what he's doing to me, but that he loves me...
I accept that I am a codependent... ordered the book... not sure how or when I am going to read it (must be done in secret of course)...
I can't find the motivation to look for apartments... it just depresses me... and do I look at apartments for just me... or I am optimistic and look for one for both of us and the dog so he can join me (so long as he completes the 5-week program, continues to see a counselor, and gets a job)????????
A lot of this is probably because I am off today... I work with the public and so pushing the happy button is easier when I am there... My mom is out today too, so today is the first day I have truly had to myself since the implosion...
He says he is going back to work on Wednesday... good or bad? Do we trust him? (He often has to do deliveries for his job)... he's pretty much been under house arrest.... well... more held in by his symptoms... but then again, it's like he said to me, "it doesn't matter how tight the leash is... if I want drugs, I will find a way to get them." Which I suppose is true.... eek.... He says he really wants to get in to this program, and that he wants it to work... his main concern is that it is mostly group sessions and not a lot of individual (he is kind of shy)....
I'm just all messed up today... help. :o( :o(
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
I accept that I am a codependent... ordered the book... not sure how or when I am going to read it (must be done in secret of course)...
Focus on fixing YOUR life, let him focus on fixing his. It's the only way. That means get an apartment for yourself, get healthy, work your OWN recovery from your admitted codependence.
Then, no matter what he does, your life still improves.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Why hide the book? I don't get that.
You are awfulyzing, the counselors in rehab know what they are doing, that is their job. There is no emotion involved, unlike trying to talk to you.
I would recoommend that you work on trying not to project into the future, find yourself an apartment, if it works out for the two of you, fine, if it doesn't, it's not mean't to be. He has a long difficult road ahead of him, I wouldn't consider living with him unless he is sober and working a strong recovery program for at least a year. You are trying to put the cart before the horse.
This is his recovery, not yours, let him breath, take this time to work on your recovery.
You are awfulyzing, the counselors in rehab know what they are doing, that is their job. There is no emotion involved, unlike trying to talk to you.
I would recoommend that you work on trying not to project into the future, find yourself an apartment, if it works out for the two of you, fine, if it doesn't, it's not mean't to be. He has a long difficult road ahead of him, I wouldn't consider living with him unless he is sober and working a strong recovery program for at least a year. You are trying to put the cart before the horse.
This is his recovery, not yours, let him breath, take this time to work on your recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 7
Called Naranon and had a lovely chat with the woman who runs the group in my area... I can't go for 2 weeks because I am working those two wednesday nights... but I am going to try on the 3rd week from now... there is also a chapter within 15 miles of where I will be moving... I guess I am going to give it a shot... I just have no where else to turn...
His meeting went well today... he has one more (less formal) intake on Wednesday and he should start the program on Thursday... only trouble is... they want to talk to the methodone clinic and he will probably lose all take-homes... which means he will go to the clinic every day at 4:00 AM... work from 8-3... go to sessions from 4-8 and get home at 9... I worry about the stress of it all being too much.........
His meeting went well today... he has one more (less formal) intake on Wednesday and he should start the program on Thursday... only trouble is... they want to talk to the methodone clinic and he will probably lose all take-homes... which means he will go to the clinic every day at 4:00 AM... work from 8-3... go to sessions from 4-8 and get home at 9... I worry about the stress of it all being too much.........
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
A friend of mine works in a building with a daycare on the first floor.
Each day she walks in and sees the list of rules for the children.
Rule #6 is "Worry about yourself"
I think this is what you need to do right now, both for yourself and for him.
Take care of you and let him take care of him.
Each day she walks in and sees the list of rules for the children.
Rule #6 is "Worry about yourself"
I think this is what you need to do right now, both for yourself and for him.
Take care of you and let him take care of him.
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