HELP!!!!! Son and meth
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I live in Naples Florida, and have been on the web site for Narnon, but the closest is 1.5 hours away.
I believe this list will help you to find Alanon meetings:
Alanon Meetings
As others have said ................... you are NOT a 'terrible' mom. With this thing, disease, affliction, etc called ADDICTION, the A mush find their own way. Nothing we do will or can help them. Allowing them to 'suffer' the consequences of their ACTIONS helps them to move toward their individual boundary.
Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing as we do care very much.
Love an hugs,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by katrina1960 
.i am still sending money and trying to help, but i want to stop and do not know how, i am afraid he will be on the street in OK and not know anyone and possible get hurt.....my counsellor told me none of this is my problem.....how does a mother just stop????? please help me.....thank you
I was close to bankrupting myself financially, physically and emotionally, doing everything I could to beat her addiction and keep her safe. While I was doing all this, she continued to shoot poison several times a day. Coming to terms with my inability to control her and her choices was humbling. I had to surrender my own ego and accept that I was powerless over her and the situation. At the same time, I began to reclaim power over the only person I could- that was me and my reactions to my daughter and her problems.
Accepting that there was nothing I could say or do to keep her clean or cause a relapse was a turning point for me. I did not have the power. None of us do
I stopped with the money because it was all going up her arm. I asked her to leave my house because I made the desision I would no longer live with anyone in active addiction. I never went no contact and occasionally bought her a sandwhich. I quickly learned that " no, because...." opened the door to negotiations, so a simple "No" became my response to requests and stories for money. " Bummer" was another term I used a lot when she would give me sob stories. I will not engage with someone in active addiction and will remove myself from the situation. This is very different than trying to negotiate with the devil.
Somewhere along the way, something clicked inside her and she was done with drugs. I'll never know what prompted her to walk away from drugs. Perhaps that everyone she knew into heroin had either died or was sitting in prison had something to do with it. Maybe she had a bad experience making new contacts. Who knows or cares?
She, like all of us, remain one lousy decision away from disaster.
So stop throwing good money after bad.
Living with grandma is troubling. Does she know? Does she protect her valuables and credit? Does she have a plan if he's home and tweaking?
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