Back on track
Yankee
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 183
Back on track
I just came back to work today from a 4 day holiday weekend. It is too hot for me to go outside and do anything productive, so I stayed home most of the time (except for seeing a double feature at the theaters).
My son is at his Dad's for the rest of the summer to work with him. It was not planned for him to go, the opertunity just came up for him to work. (His first job, I am so proud!) Somehow I feel as if my HP had something to do with it. Knowing that I would need this time to cope/recover from my ex's release from prison.
I find as I stay home for a long period of time (especially alone) that there is only so much cleaning and organizing that I can do before I get bored. And when I get bored I start to think about things, the past & the future. I tend to forget that I am actually living for just today. So I got out my *Hope for Today* book and read...for most of the weekend. I had to re-work Step 3 again and turn my will over to my HP. I read for April 28th the Thought for the Day said "How many times do I have to be hurt by my self-will before I'm willing to seek another way?" That is now my favorite Thought for the Day.
I feel like I had somewhat of an emotional relapse and i feel stupid and guilty almost for it. I know I should not feel that way, and that I am supposed to be gentle with myself. But I had just posted that *im doing so great & I love my program* post Friday, and then the last few days I broke down? I wonder how I can feel so great about everything and on a turn of a dime I feel the opposite.
I went and re-read my post, my words, everyone elses words of encouragement this morning, to remind myself that my thoughts and my feelings, the good ones are still there. I think I am back on track and still feel pretty darn good.
Progress not perfection right?
My son is at his Dad's for the rest of the summer to work with him. It was not planned for him to go, the opertunity just came up for him to work. (His first job, I am so proud!) Somehow I feel as if my HP had something to do with it. Knowing that I would need this time to cope/recover from my ex's release from prison.
I find as I stay home for a long period of time (especially alone) that there is only so much cleaning and organizing that I can do before I get bored. And when I get bored I start to think about things, the past & the future. I tend to forget that I am actually living for just today. So I got out my *Hope for Today* book and read...for most of the weekend. I had to re-work Step 3 again and turn my will over to my HP. I read for April 28th the Thought for the Day said "How many times do I have to be hurt by my self-will before I'm willing to seek another way?" That is now my favorite Thought for the Day.
I feel like I had somewhat of an emotional relapse and i feel stupid and guilty almost for it. I know I should not feel that way, and that I am supposed to be gentle with myself. But I had just posted that *im doing so great & I love my program* post Friday, and then the last few days I broke down? I wonder how I can feel so great about everything and on a turn of a dime I feel the opposite.
I went and re-read my post, my words, everyone elses words of encouragement this morning, to remind myself that my thoughts and my feelings, the good ones are still there. I think I am back on track and still feel pretty darn good.
Progress not perfection right?
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
Progress not perfection, Exactly!
Thanks Miss Tara for the post . . . we are each traveling on our own road to the best of our ability . . . all I can say is thank goodness I've found my recovery road and that's the one I've chosen for now!
Thanks Miss Tara for the post . . . we are each traveling on our own road to the best of our ability . . . all I can say is thank goodness I've found my recovery road and that's the one I've chosen for now!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 34
MissTara:
Yes be gentle with yourself. I too have emotional relapses from time to time. Focus on the fact that when you found yourself feeling down you were able to encourage yourself in reading posts, and reading your book. The fact that you didn't dwell in your sorrow and you found a way to refocus your energy is Major!!! Hugs
Yes be gentle with yourself. I too have emotional relapses from time to time. Focus on the fact that when you found yourself feeling down you were able to encourage yourself in reading posts, and reading your book. The fact that you didn't dwell in your sorrow and you found a way to refocus your energy is Major!!! Hugs
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