Dailies from ODAT
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
September 5 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
So much of what there is to learn in Al-Anon has to do with discovering myself – the real person I am. One Greek philosopher said simply, “Know thyself: - another: “We would have inward peace, but will not look within.”
Complete self-knowledge is impossible, but the “looking within” will open our eyes to many possible improvements. It is difficult because we’re afraid we won’t like what we see, and we may have misgivings about being able to change ourselves. Yet what we may find when we look within may be quite a surprise package – all those many good qualities tucked away under heavy layers of guilt.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Our greatest handicap is self-deception. We cannot recognize in ourselves the faults we criticize in others.
If I could only foresee what an inspiring experience it is to search out the real me, I would not hesitate. The first step, after all, is to be completely honest in our search.
“If I knew what I was really like, chances are I’d like myself much better than I do.”
So much of what there is to learn in Al-Anon has to do with discovering myself – the real person I am. One Greek philosopher said simply, “Know thyself: - another: “We would have inward peace, but will not look within.”
Complete self-knowledge is impossible, but the “looking within” will open our eyes to many possible improvements. It is difficult because we’re afraid we won’t like what we see, and we may have misgivings about being able to change ourselves. Yet what we may find when we look within may be quite a surprise package – all those many good qualities tucked away under heavy layers of guilt.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Our greatest handicap is self-deception. We cannot recognize in ourselves the faults we criticize in others.
If I could only foresee what an inspiring experience it is to search out the real me, I would not hesitate. The first step, after all, is to be completely honest in our search.
“If I knew what I was really like, chances are I’d like myself much better than I do.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
September 6 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Have I been trying to live the Al-Anon program? Then I must surely be learning to overcome any tendency to control others – the directing, scheming and manipulating that can only result in my own defeat.
I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic or watch over him, counsel him, or assume his responsibilities. He must have the same freedom to make his own decision as I have, since he must suffer for them if they are wrong.
Perhaps I have felt I had a right and an obligation to set the standards for the family and compel those around me to live up to them. In Al-Anon we learn a better way.
Here is a vivid picture, from the great novelist Tolstoy, which makes the situation clear:
TODAY’S REMINDER
“I sit on a man’s back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means – EXCEPT by getting off his back.”
“Teach me to leave, to others, their inborn right to dignity and independence, as I wish to have them leave mine to me.”
Have I been trying to live the Al-Anon program? Then I must surely be learning to overcome any tendency to control others – the directing, scheming and manipulating that can only result in my own defeat.
I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic or watch over him, counsel him, or assume his responsibilities. He must have the same freedom to make his own decision as I have, since he must suffer for them if they are wrong.
Perhaps I have felt I had a right and an obligation to set the standards for the family and compel those around me to live up to them. In Al-Anon we learn a better way.
Here is a vivid picture, from the great novelist Tolstoy, which makes the situation clear:
TODAY’S REMINDER
“I sit on a man’s back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means – EXCEPT by getting off his back.”
“Teach me to leave, to others, their inborn right to dignity and independence, as I wish to have them leave mine to me.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
September 7 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
We do not come to Al-Anon – or should not – to look for pity. We should not expect the other members to assure us that our resentments are justified or that we ought to take aggressive action. Indeed, we learn to resist aggression from others by maintaining our dignity and poise. In short, what the Al-Anon program does for us, through its members, is to help us change the way we look at our family problems.
If I complain about something “he” did, somebody may point out that I seem too determined. (I will not even take it amiss if the word is “stubborn”!) When I reveal that I am checking up on his activities, I may be told that my interference won’t help matters, but will keep me from growing.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Al-Anon meetings and friendships can be inspiring, interesting, enlightening, and even fun. But they are also dedicated to the serious business of making me into a confident, spiritually oriented adult human being. If that is what I want, I will listen with an open mind, accept suggestions and put to good use what I learn.
“I pray to let nothing stand in the way of my being receptive to what Al-Anon has to offer.”
We do not come to Al-Anon – or should not – to look for pity. We should not expect the other members to assure us that our resentments are justified or that we ought to take aggressive action. Indeed, we learn to resist aggression from others by maintaining our dignity and poise. In short, what the Al-Anon program does for us, through its members, is to help us change the way we look at our family problems.
If I complain about something “he” did, somebody may point out that I seem too determined. (I will not even take it amiss if the word is “stubborn”!) When I reveal that I am checking up on his activities, I may be told that my interference won’t help matters, but will keep me from growing.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Al-Anon meetings and friendships can be inspiring, interesting, enlightening, and even fun. But they are also dedicated to the serious business of making me into a confident, spiritually oriented adult human being. If that is what I want, I will listen with an open mind, accept suggestions and put to good use what I learn.
“I pray to let nothing stand in the way of my being receptive to what Al-Anon has to offer.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
September 8 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
We who have chosen our life partners from the ranks of alcoholics often feel our lives are especially difficult and complicated. And they often are. We come to believe, quite mistakenly, that we’re the only people in the world with real trouble! Let us recognize that the alcoholic – insecure, lonely, and often too sensitive to life’s realities – usually has many endearing qualities to be grateful for. Indeed, many of us wouldn’t want to exchange him for a less interesting, if more dependable, partner.
Yet matters may have reached the point of desperation and we are completely hopeless. What to do?
TODAY’S REMINDER
In Al-Anon, I discover, in myself, the power to throw new light on a seemingly hopeless situation. I learn I must use this power, not to change the alcoholic over whom I am powerless, but to overcome my own distorted ideas and attitudes. If I can bring sunshine into our home, it cannot fail to affect those in it.
“Help me to use the gifts You have given me. I want to use them to help others through making my own world better and brighter.”
We who have chosen our life partners from the ranks of alcoholics often feel our lives are especially difficult and complicated. And they often are. We come to believe, quite mistakenly, that we’re the only people in the world with real trouble! Let us recognize that the alcoholic – insecure, lonely, and often too sensitive to life’s realities – usually has many endearing qualities to be grateful for. Indeed, many of us wouldn’t want to exchange him for a less interesting, if more dependable, partner.
Yet matters may have reached the point of desperation and we are completely hopeless. What to do?
TODAY’S REMINDER
In Al-Anon, I discover, in myself, the power to throw new light on a seemingly hopeless situation. I learn I must use this power, not to change the alcoholic over whom I am powerless, but to overcome my own distorted ideas and attitudes. If I can bring sunshine into our home, it cannot fail to affect those in it.
“Help me to use the gifts You have given me. I want to use them to help others through making my own world better and brighter.”
Present
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: "Happy Rock" (Gladstone) Oregon
Posts: 1,252
NOTE: My computer access for the next week or two will be curtailed. I've typed up a couple weeks' worth and FREEDOM1990 has kindly agreeed to post them for everyone
THANK YOU FREEDOM1990 and my best to everyone 'til we meet again!
September 9 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Here’s an eye-opening, mind-opening question to ask myself: What am I doing with what I’ve got? Instead of crying over what I don’t have, and wishing my life were different, what am I doing with what I’ve got?
Am I so sure I’m doing everything possible to make my life a success? Am I using my capabilities well? Do I recognize and appreciate all I have to be grateful for?
Actually I am the possessor of unlimited resources. The more I do with them, the more they will grow, to overshadow and cancel out the difficult and painful aspects that now get so much of my attention.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Isn’t my life full of potential good that I’m not using? Couldn’t I bring it to fruition by changing my attitude? As a beginning, I will apply liberal amounts of gratitude for even my littlest advantages and pleasures. When I build on this precious foundation of present, tangible good, things will continue to change for the better.
“God make me grateful for all the good things that I have been taking for granted.”
THANK YOU FREEDOM1990 and my best to everyone 'til we meet again!
September 9 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Here’s an eye-opening, mind-opening question to ask myself: What am I doing with what I’ve got? Instead of crying over what I don’t have, and wishing my life were different, what am I doing with what I’ve got?
Am I so sure I’m doing everything possible to make my life a success? Am I using my capabilities well? Do I recognize and appreciate all I have to be grateful for?
Actually I am the possessor of unlimited resources. The more I do with them, the more they will grow, to overshadow and cancel out the difficult and painful aspects that now get so much of my attention.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Isn’t my life full of potential good that I’m not using? Couldn’t I bring it to fruition by changing my attitude? As a beginning, I will apply liberal amounts of gratitude for even my littlest advantages and pleasures. When I build on this precious foundation of present, tangible good, things will continue to change for the better.
“God make me grateful for all the good things that I have been taking for granted.”
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 10 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Again I ask myself the same question as yesterday’s; “What am I doing with what I have?” This query can be applied in many ways. Take, for instance, the faculty of being able to remember. If I have been given the gift of a good, clear memory, how do I use it?
It isn’t likely that god conferred this gift on me for the purpose of dredging up old wrongs, injured feelings, futile regrets and personal sufferings. That would clearly be a misuse of His gift, when everyone has so many pleasant and satisfying things to remember.
TODAY’S REMINDER
What am I doing with this precious ability to recall what happened in the past? If I use it to remember enjoyments and interesting experiences, it will give me a saving perspective on the problems I am encountering in the here and now. I can also use the gift of memory for storing up today’s blessings to tide me over future woes.
“Let not thy thoughts dwell upon the days of thy sorrows, but rather on those which brought thee brightness and peace.”
Again I ask myself the same question as yesterday’s; “What am I doing with what I have?” This query can be applied in many ways. Take, for instance, the faculty of being able to remember. If I have been given the gift of a good, clear memory, how do I use it?
It isn’t likely that god conferred this gift on me for the purpose of dredging up old wrongs, injured feelings, futile regrets and personal sufferings. That would clearly be a misuse of His gift, when everyone has so many pleasant and satisfying things to remember.
TODAY’S REMINDER
What am I doing with this precious ability to recall what happened in the past? If I use it to remember enjoyments and interesting experiences, it will give me a saving perspective on the problems I am encountering in the here and now. I can also use the gift of memory for storing up today’s blessings to tide me over future woes.
“Let not thy thoughts dwell upon the days of thy sorrows, but rather on those which brought thee brightness and peace.”
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 11 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Occasionally, an Al-Anon meeting dredges up grievances and reports of domestic hostility. The chairman of one such meeting, having also told about “family fights” of her own, jolted the group with this final comment:
I’ve often wondered, when I start a battle with my husband, how I’d feel if somebody were making a tape recording of what I was saying and the tone of voice I was using to say it. I’d be screeching and shouting like a fish wife; I’d bring up all my weapons of sarcasm like a fish wife; I’d bring up all my weapons of sarcasm and lash out. And by the way, the word “sarcasm” comes from a Greek word, meaning, “to tear flesh.”
Wouldn’t I feel pretty cheap if I could hear myself being played back? Wouldn’t it give me some idea of my part in the family troubles?
“Please, please, let’s listen to ourselves and see if it doesn’t help us to cool off.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will, from now on, take note of how disagreements start in my home. If I am the instigator, this is the first thing I will try to correct in myself. If I am challenged by an angry person, I will respond quietly or not at all.
“A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” – Proverbs
Occasionally, an Al-Anon meeting dredges up grievances and reports of domestic hostility. The chairman of one such meeting, having also told about “family fights” of her own, jolted the group with this final comment:
I’ve often wondered, when I start a battle with my husband, how I’d feel if somebody were making a tape recording of what I was saying and the tone of voice I was using to say it. I’d be screeching and shouting like a fish wife; I’d bring up all my weapons of sarcasm like a fish wife; I’d bring up all my weapons of sarcasm and lash out. And by the way, the word “sarcasm” comes from a Greek word, meaning, “to tear flesh.”
Wouldn’t I feel pretty cheap if I could hear myself being played back? Wouldn’t it give me some idea of my part in the family troubles?
“Please, please, let’s listen to ourselves and see if it doesn’t help us to cool off.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will, from now on, take note of how disagreements start in my home. If I am the instigator, this is the first thing I will try to correct in myself. If I am challenged by an angry person, I will respond quietly or not at all.
“A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” – Proverbs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 12 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
When an Al-Anon member undertakes to give advice, it is important to remember that it should be limited to helping the other person in terms of spiritual growth. There is danger in going beyond this and advising action to be taken. None of us have the right to do this.
Sometimes a frustrated neurotic gives advice that stirs up hostility between a man and wife. She may make the situation much worse by justifying the wife’s resentment. Promoting such resentments can have serious consequences. So, too, can urging her to “stand up for her rights” or “not to allow this or that.” She is getting unconscious satisfaction from managing other people’s lives, while she imagines her intentions are only good.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Heaven protect me from my good friends who, with only the best intentions, keep the wounds of my resentment open, weaken me by their pity, and justify my complaints. In the name of doing good, they can hamper my restoring a tolerant and loving relationship with my family.
“We must not be easy in giving credit to every word and suggestion, but carefully and leisurely weigh the matter according to God.” – (Thomas A’Kempis)
When an Al-Anon member undertakes to give advice, it is important to remember that it should be limited to helping the other person in terms of spiritual growth. There is danger in going beyond this and advising action to be taken. None of us have the right to do this.
Sometimes a frustrated neurotic gives advice that stirs up hostility between a man and wife. She may make the situation much worse by justifying the wife’s resentment. Promoting such resentments can have serious consequences. So, too, can urging her to “stand up for her rights” or “not to allow this or that.” She is getting unconscious satisfaction from managing other people’s lives, while she imagines her intentions are only good.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Heaven protect me from my good friends who, with only the best intentions, keep the wounds of my resentment open, weaken me by their pity, and justify my complaints. In the name of doing good, they can hamper my restoring a tolerant and loving relationship with my family.
“We must not be easy in giving credit to every word and suggestion, but carefully and leisurely weigh the matter according to God.” – (Thomas A’Kempis)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 13 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON
September 13 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Once upon a time, there was a married couple who lived in a beautiful house, and had lots of the material things that many of us think are important to contentment. They were not contented, however. What with one little misunderstanding and another, the situation grew worse. Nobody would give way an inch in their bitter arguments, until at last, their love turned to hate. Finally the wife insisted that the inside of the house be divided by a brick wall, behind which each could live in his and her own quarters. Each went his own way, and they never spoke to each other again as long as they lived They had many wretched years in their isolation.
* * *
Am I unknowingly building a wall between myself and the person I married? Is it being made of stubbornness, self-will, self-righteousness and a desire to punish? Such a wall can be as hard and unyielding as though it were made of real bricks. It would leave me no space in which to grow. As one member put it:
“God grant me the wisdom to recognize the faults I am building into a wall, such a wall as cannot be penetrated even by love.”
Once upon a time, there was a married couple who lived in a beautiful house, and had lots of the material things that many of us think are important to contentment. They were not contented, however. What with one little misunderstanding and another, the situation grew worse. Nobody would give way an inch in their bitter arguments, until at last, their love turned to hate. Finally the wife insisted that the inside of the house be divided by a brick wall, behind which each could live in his and her own quarters. Each went his own way, and they never spoke to each other again as long as they lived They had many wretched years in their isolation.
* * *
Am I unknowingly building a wall between myself and the person I married? Is it being made of stubbornness, self-will, self-righteousness and a desire to punish? Such a wall can be as hard and unyielding as though it were made of real bricks. It would leave me no space in which to grow. As one member put it:
“God grant me the wisdom to recognize the faults I am building into a wall, such a wall as cannot be penetrated even by love.”
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 14 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
We hear it over and over again, in both AA and Al-Anon: this program is Spiritual, not Religious. Each of us must find our own way to Heaven and the Al-Anon teachings reinforce our faith in the way we choose to worship, whatever it may be. If our dedicated practice of Al-Anon helps us make a Heaven on earth, no religious faith would quarrel with this happy outcome.
Yet sometimes a member, devoted to a particular religion, may try to win others over to her faith, virtuously convinced that she is only trying to help. This can lead to confusion and many difficulties, and may indeed result in creating a rift in a marriage whose foundation is a common faith.
TODAY’S REMINDER
It is emphasized in our Traditions and in much of our literature that a) we are not affiliated with any other organization, and b) that the tenets of any faith can be applied with the Al-Anon program.
“I pray for the wisdom not to involve myself with the personal lives and beliefs of others, and to help them only by means of Al-Anon principles.”
We hear it over and over again, in both AA and Al-Anon: this program is Spiritual, not Religious. Each of us must find our own way to Heaven and the Al-Anon teachings reinforce our faith in the way we choose to worship, whatever it may be. If our dedicated practice of Al-Anon helps us make a Heaven on earth, no religious faith would quarrel with this happy outcome.
Yet sometimes a member, devoted to a particular religion, may try to win others over to her faith, virtuously convinced that she is only trying to help. This can lead to confusion and many difficulties, and may indeed result in creating a rift in a marriage whose foundation is a common faith.
TODAY’S REMINDER
It is emphasized in our Traditions and in much of our literature that a) we are not affiliated with any other organization, and b) that the tenets of any faith can be applied with the Al-Anon program.
“I pray for the wisdom not to involve myself with the personal lives and beliefs of others, and to help them only by means of Al-Anon principles.”
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 15 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
A good way to “get out from under” some of our daily problems is to stop reacting to everything that occurs. Some of us have a constant drive to do something about everything that happens, everything that someone says to us.
There is a time to act, of course. But the action should be based on careful thinking out of the factors. It should not be triggered by every wind that blows. When something displeases us, it isn’t a threat to our lives, our safety, or anything important. If we keep it in perspective, it will help us to let go.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will try to overcome my tendency to react to what people say or do. I can’t know why they do it, because I cannot understand their inner unhappiness and compulsions, any more than they can understand mine. When I react, I put the control of my peace of mind in the hands of others. My serenity is under my control, and I will not relinquish it for trivial occurrences.
“I pray for the tolerance and the wisdom to avoid reacting to what other people say and do.”
A good way to “get out from under” some of our daily problems is to stop reacting to everything that occurs. Some of us have a constant drive to do something about everything that happens, everything that someone says to us.
There is a time to act, of course. But the action should be based on careful thinking out of the factors. It should not be triggered by every wind that blows. When something displeases us, it isn’t a threat to our lives, our safety, or anything important. If we keep it in perspective, it will help us to let go.
TODAY’S REMINDER
I will try to overcome my tendency to react to what people say or do. I can’t know why they do it, because I cannot understand their inner unhappiness and compulsions, any more than they can understand mine. When I react, I put the control of my peace of mind in the hands of others. My serenity is under my control, and I will not relinquish it for trivial occurrences.
“I pray for the tolerance and the wisdom to avoid reacting to what other people say and do.”
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
After many years of recovery, I still have to check my "reactions". I'm a natural born redheaded reactor and I know that the moment I feel the adrenaline kicking in, it's time to put on the brakes and think, think, think, pause some more and think again.
Thanks for this reminder, I needed to read this today.
Hugs
Thanks for this reminder, I needed to read this today.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 16 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
A member speaks in a meeting: “I keep trying to get my point across to him but nothing I say seems to penetrate.”
Another member answers, “Perhaps when we can’t get our views across to the alcoholic, or anyone else, it is time to consider whether the point we are trying to make is really valid. Could it be that it isn’t right or reasonable or that our determination to ‘get the point across’ is being used at the wrong time? Are we making allowances for the other person’s right to a different point of view?”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Right and wrong are not always black and white. Before I take a positive stand, it would be wise first to make sure that it is reasonable, and then that I have taken into account all possible reasons against my “right” point of view. An open mind is a handy thing to have when once I become willing to Live and Let Live.
“Let me not force my own certainties on others. I could be wrong. A generous tolerance can smooth out many rough places in my day-to-day living.”
A member speaks in a meeting: “I keep trying to get my point across to him but nothing I say seems to penetrate.”
Another member answers, “Perhaps when we can’t get our views across to the alcoholic, or anyone else, it is time to consider whether the point we are trying to make is really valid. Could it be that it isn’t right or reasonable or that our determination to ‘get the point across’ is being used at the wrong time? Are we making allowances for the other person’s right to a different point of view?”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Right and wrong are not always black and white. Before I take a positive stand, it would be wise first to make sure that it is reasonable, and then that I have taken into account all possible reasons against my “right” point of view. An open mind is a handy thing to have when once I become willing to Live and Let Live.
“Let me not force my own certainties on others. I could be wrong. A generous tolerance can smooth out many rough places in my day-to-day living.”
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 17 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
We often hear it said in Al-Anon that the Twelve Steps are a way of life, not only in coping with the problems of alcoholism, but in everything else. We have only to replace the word “alcohol” with the name of the problem that confronts us.
The beginning of Step One, for example, says” “Admitted we were powerless over alcohol…” That admission can apply to many other difficulties we feel we should be able to control, but are not.
I do have a power, a God-given one, and that is power over my own mind, emotions and reactions. If I exercise that power wisely, the problems outside of me will work out without my interference.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Before Al-Anon, I did everything I could think of to manage the life of my spouse. Yet I was demonstrating every day that I could not even manage my own! I felt I was being forced into doing and being what I did not want to do and be. In Al-Anon, I discovered how to be myself.
“If I try to govern another person’s life, I will fail. When I can fix my thoughts on improving my own, I can count on the help of my Higher Power.”
We often hear it said in Al-Anon that the Twelve Steps are a way of life, not only in coping with the problems of alcoholism, but in everything else. We have only to replace the word “alcohol” with the name of the problem that confronts us.
The beginning of Step One, for example, says” “Admitted we were powerless over alcohol…” That admission can apply to many other difficulties we feel we should be able to control, but are not.
I do have a power, a God-given one, and that is power over my own mind, emotions and reactions. If I exercise that power wisely, the problems outside of me will work out without my interference.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Before Al-Anon, I did everything I could think of to manage the life of my spouse. Yet I was demonstrating every day that I could not even manage my own! I felt I was being forced into doing and being what I did not want to do and be. In Al-Anon, I discovered how to be myself.
“If I try to govern another person’s life, I will fail. When I can fix my thoughts on improving my own, I can count on the help of my Higher Power.”
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 18 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Most of us, when we first come into Al-Anon, have but one idea: Sobriety for the alcoholic. We learn at once that this is not Al-Anon’s purpose. We have ourselves to change and, by great good fortune, the changes we make can so improve the environment we live in that the alcoholic will seek sobriety.
We may think all our problems have been solved when the alcoholic is safely in AA, so we feel we can rest on our oars. Meetings and telephone talks with our AL-anon friends don’t seem so necessary. This is due to forgetting two basic truths:
TODAY’S REMINDER
1. Emotional disturbance is one cause of alcoholism. This condition can improve as the alcoholic practices the spiritual elements of the AA program. The adjustment period may be long – and trying to our patience unless we have Al-Anon to help us grow, too.
2. What we have learned in Al-Anon, and all the help we have received, must be passed along to troubled newcomers in the fellowship we embraced when we were in trouble.
“If I believe that life will be rich and rewarding only as I live it with spiritual guidelines, I know I will always need Al-Anon.”
Most of us, when we first come into Al-Anon, have but one idea: Sobriety for the alcoholic. We learn at once that this is not Al-Anon’s purpose. We have ourselves to change and, by great good fortune, the changes we make can so improve the environment we live in that the alcoholic will seek sobriety.
We may think all our problems have been solved when the alcoholic is safely in AA, so we feel we can rest on our oars. Meetings and telephone talks with our AL-anon friends don’t seem so necessary. This is due to forgetting two basic truths:
TODAY’S REMINDER
1. Emotional disturbance is one cause of alcoholism. This condition can improve as the alcoholic practices the spiritual elements of the AA program. The adjustment period may be long – and trying to our patience unless we have Al-Anon to help us grow, too.
2. What we have learned in Al-Anon, and all the help we have received, must be passed along to troubled newcomers in the fellowship we embraced when we were in trouble.
“If I believe that life will be rich and rewarding only as I live it with spiritual guidelines, I know I will always need Al-Anon.”
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 19 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
An AlAnon member with a particularly serious problem was told by another at a meeting: “I just wouldn’t put up with it!”
The answer came: “I am not, as you say, putting up with it. I am trying to correct my own faults, keep my mouth shut when I am tempted to yell and scream at him, and keep hands off his problems. You see, I never want to forget that I have a commitment to my husband. I want to live up to that commitment which I made, willingly and solemnly, when I married him.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Any marriage made in expectation of lifelong bliss and freedom from care is bound to bring us to some shocking realizations that life just isn’t like that. An adult point of vie recognizes that alcoholism and its train of troubles is only one of the disasters that can happen to a marriage. We would face others with courage; why not this? The commitment to the person we married demands that we do everything we can to correct our problems. What to do, we learn in Al-Anon. How we use it is up to us.
“…in sickness and in health, for better or for worse…”
An AlAnon member with a particularly serious problem was told by another at a meeting: “I just wouldn’t put up with it!”
The answer came: “I am not, as you say, putting up with it. I am trying to correct my own faults, keep my mouth shut when I am tempted to yell and scream at him, and keep hands off his problems. You see, I never want to forget that I have a commitment to my husband. I want to live up to that commitment which I made, willingly and solemnly, when I married him.”
TODAY’S REMINDER
Any marriage made in expectation of lifelong bliss and freedom from care is bound to bring us to some shocking realizations that life just isn’t like that. An adult point of vie recognizes that alcoholism and its train of troubles is only one of the disasters that can happen to a marriage. We would face others with courage; why not this? The commitment to the person we married demands that we do everything we can to correct our problems. What to do, we learn in Al-Anon. How we use it is up to us.
“…in sickness and in health, for better or for worse…”
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 20 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
If irrational and irresponsible behavior on the part of the alcoholic has betrayed us into assuming an attitude of contempt for him, some serious examination of ourselves is in order.
They are not “bad boys,” who must be directed, disciplined or punished by us. They are sick, confused and guilt-ridden human beings with badly battered egos.
God has given no one the right to humiliate another. In every one of His children there are qualities that should command our respect, and to withhold it is a wrong that will return to wound us.
TODAY’S REMINDER
It is vital to my serenity to separate, in my mind, the sickness of alcoholism from the person who suffers from it. I will dignify him with the respect which is everyone’s due. This, in turn, will give him back the self-esteem that is an important element in wanting sobriety.
“The surest plan to make a Man is: Think Him So.” – (James R. Lowell)
If irrational and irresponsible behavior on the part of the alcoholic has betrayed us into assuming an attitude of contempt for him, some serious examination of ourselves is in order.
They are not “bad boys,” who must be directed, disciplined or punished by us. They are sick, confused and guilt-ridden human beings with badly battered egos.
God has given no one the right to humiliate another. In every one of His children there are qualities that should command our respect, and to withhold it is a wrong that will return to wound us.
TODAY’S REMINDER
It is vital to my serenity to separate, in my mind, the sickness of alcoholism from the person who suffers from it. I will dignify him with the respect which is everyone’s due. This, in turn, will give him back the self-esteem that is an important element in wanting sobriety.
“The surest plan to make a Man is: Think Him So.” – (James R. Lowell)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
September 21 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
Until I understand the inner meaning of the Twelve Steps, my natural impulse is to resist admitting that they apply to me.
I don’t want to believe I am powerless over alcohol or that I have allowed my life to become unmanageable. Yet I know I must accept the First Step before I can make progress.
Although most of us do acknowledge a Power greater than ourselves, we are shocked at first by the idea that we need to be “restored to sanity,” as the Second Step suggests. Yet an honest appraisal of many of my reactions shows me I have too often resorted to futile and childish tricks to achieve what I wanted. With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Each of the Twelve Steps challenges me to be absolutely honest with myself. They will make me ready to accept the help of my Higher Power in restoring myself to the wholesome sanity of a mature, reasonable adult.
“The Twelve Steps will point a way to God and His infinite wisdom, by which I hope always to be guided.”
Until I understand the inner meaning of the Twelve Steps, my natural impulse is to resist admitting that they apply to me.
I don’t want to believe I am powerless over alcohol or that I have allowed my life to become unmanageable. Yet I know I must accept the First Step before I can make progress.
Although most of us do acknowledge a Power greater than ourselves, we are shocked at first by the idea that we need to be “restored to sanity,” as the Second Step suggests. Yet an honest appraisal of many of my reactions shows me I have too often resorted to futile and childish tricks to achieve what I wanted. With my thoughts distorted by fear, despair and resentment, and my nerves overwrought, I could not think clearly nor make wise decisions.
TODAY’S REMINDER
Each of the Twelve Steps challenges me to be absolutely honest with myself. They will make me ready to accept the help of my Higher Power in restoring myself to the wholesome sanity of a mature, reasonable adult.
“The Twelve Steps will point a way to God and His infinite wisdom, by which I hope always to be guided.”
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