HopeAwaits

I am so Exhausted and drained. I had always hoped XAH's sobriety would make things better! Divorced 4 years and sober three and back to square one!

since last week I have told him we are going back to supervised visits. He did not agree and did not think I would follow through. I planned on doing the supervising and we could show our Daughter everything was ok! Well It hit the fan again today. And while I no longer take his manipulation to reality. His words can cut deep. But it is more of an exhustion!! I am trying hard not to break down. made the evening fun movie night at home with daughter to relax.

He wants to choose supervisor but most people he knows are NA people and people in his Sober lving apartments with all the same Medical condition as he. And i will not allow that!!! Looking into professional services avaliable for supervision tomorrow!


He told me that Our daughter always wanted to come home early when I was not home in the evening before she came over and I need to change that in whatever way to make things better for him. (Not that for things like him telling her she treats him like a Nobody,all because she doesnt listen.... A 7 year old girl,not listening I have never heard of that) I do not have a social life, I work two jobs and am an Advisor for a grils Non profit service Organization... that is what I do!! Let him know if I have to work,I will not change that. He provides no money or support for her. So I could tell him where he could go on that!


I rambled more than I thought. Thank you for the support and listening!!!

Wife2anaddict

Why do YOU want to supervise his visits and why is it at your discretion whether or not they ARE supervised? That seems odd for a divorce agreement. I have a 4 year old daughter and I think if I had to choose between ME supervising, a stranger in a facility who is taking notes of the visitAtion, or a RA, who is working a progrAm, who can accompany your exah and daughter to the pArk, zoo, library-whatever-- I'd choose the latter. Think of what would actually be the safest and most enjoyable way for your daughter to visit. Plus-free time for YOU-added bonus!

somberheart

Id have to agree that you shouldn't supervise the visits. Go to Dept. of Children and see if they have references you can use, or a company...they can and will help you. You supervising the visits is only hurting you. I understand that you don't want your child around your ex because of his addiction, so maybe you should file a report with DCF, or call your lawyer and find out what can be done as far as supervised visits are concerned. Like I said, its probably not a good idea that you supervise the visits, dad and daughter need time to bond, and you superivising the visits is like telling your daughter that dad cannot be trusted, and that she shouldn't trust him.

HopeAwaits

I agree at this time it shouldnt be me. Our court order says supervised and we did before and He would come to the house and things were good. he has stopped taking all his meds and can not control himself or his anger.
I am going to go Tomorrow to Family court services to see what options are.

I want her to have a wonderful relationship with him and bond or for me to interfere with it. Free time would be amaxing .
I would most likley have to bare all the cost of supervision, if we do professional. If i didnt he wouodnt see her and I dont want that either.

Thank you for the help

HopeAwaits

Cynical, thats what i keep trying to focus on. The harder part is styimg focused and strong to not let his words doubt my purpose. Which is ONLY her.
He is trying to manipulate me and the situation.

I went to sleep repeating, I didn't cause it, I can't change it, I can't cure it.