peanut21

Well my children and I left for the weekend just to get away from the insanity. Unfortanatly my 17 year old son paid for the trip that is how bad he wanted to leave for awhile.
While we were gone my husband went to his work in the evening laid on the horn and then proceeded to get out of his car and vomit all over before taking off in his car again. He called his work all weekend asking what time his job was on Monday. The last call was made at midnight on Sunday. They took his job for that morning and gave it to someone else. He lost his keys so he walked to work on Monday to work in the shop and they sent him to get drug tested because of all that went on over the weekend. He has not worked but one day in the last week.
While he was getting drug tested I got a call from his mom that his aunt had tried to commit suicide. Now things are even worse. I thought they were bad before. He slept until 4 pm yesterday and then took off. Now instead of going to work today he is still sleeping at 1 pm in the afternoon. I have no idea how to keep going. I am waiting for the day I can leave but this is getting so out of hand.
I have to have back surgery soon and I don't even know how I will do that because I do not trust him to take care of the kids.

Sorry this is so long. I have to say the kids and I had a nice weekend but the pain, anger, and frustration come back the minute you walk in the house.

somberheart

Peanut,

Is there any family or a good friend that might be able to help you with your surgery and children, and you can just leave your husband at home to deal with his own problems? I read your post from earlier, about how he controls all the money and doesn't let you get a dime. I am not for sure, but Quigly House might be able to help, or even the Salvation Army or United Way. Do a little googling and you might find a little help. He is an addict, and he will ALWAYS cause this kind of havoc on his own life, and the lives of the people that are involved with him. So long as he stays an active user, and you stay with him your days like this one you described will be more and more often. I hope you can find SOME peace. And I am glad you had a great weekend despite your husbands problems.

MsPINKAcres

((Peanut))

HI neighbor!

I live close to you and wanted to let you know if you don't know there are some awesome Al-Anon meetings in our area!

I hate so much that you and your children are going thru this situation - it is a miserable way to live - FOR ME when I was in that situation - I found lots of help thru posting here, attending those meetings, reading literature and thru the help of the God of my understanding.

if you are interested in some info on those meetings - send me a PM & I'll get the info to you!

Please keep take good care of YOU - YOU deserve it!!!

PINK HUGS,
Rita

peanut21

Somberheart: Thank you for this information I will look some of this up and see what I can find. I do not have any freinds or family in this area. I have been very isolated and only see his family or people from his work. As I also don't work because of my disability and having to have another surgery I do not get out of my house except to take my son to work and back.
I know I deserve better than this and living with it day in and day out is getting harder and harder. I am made to feel like this is my fault and that I am not worth anything. I try to keep my sanity, and my self confidence but I feel like I have no identity anymore.

Freedom1990

I'm so sorry for your situation. I have degenerative disc disease and spinal stenosis, so I am on disability.

I live by myself, and although I haven't had any surgeries, I do need help with things like heavy lifting. Fortunately my youngest daughter usually helps me with that.

Can you get to Alanon meetings? At my home group I have a soft lawn chair I use with a pillow in it for my back. Other meetings I just carry a pillow with me to sit on!

Please take good care of yourself, and keep us updated!

eggdogg1234

First off, I am sorry for the reality you find yourself in. It sounds like you are ready or close to ready to make some needed changes in YOUR life. I know the feeling of identity loss and sanity loss. The darkest days come right before the light. Treat yourself like you are the person of your dreams, the one you have always wanted to be with and forsake your old ways for new ones. As mentioned there are plenty of people who will show you the path, you just have to walk it. However words on the internet can only go so far, in the end we all just want to be happy and seeing other people reach for it can inspire us to do the same.

splendra

Peanut I am so sorry for your situation. Take care of your self. Remembering you in my prayers.