still stuck

Old 06-22-2011, 05:44 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Moving on or working on herself...Either way she isn't where you'd like her to be. You can never know what someone else is thinking, only how they act on those feelings.

When we don't know the answers we are left filling the blanks but after doing that, I realized that was still me not accepting reality. That part has nothing to do with the other person, it is about us.

Letting go is hard. It is a process but it actually comes with benefits to us, not a loss. Once I accepted the loss, my value in myself went UP, not down. The value in the other person really didn't change for me, I can care about someone from a distance.

I know you are afraid to let go, as was I but letting go really means taking the focus off the person/relationship and putting it back on ourselves. They live their life, you live yours.

The more complicated we make things, the harder it is. That is why I like to draw simplistic analogies (like blankets) because it takes away the power the person has over my emotions. Works for me!
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Old 06-23-2011, 10:26 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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an interesting thing is that i have beed exploring the codependent aspect of myself, but through a link from abundance, i read about counterdependence---bingo!

in a relationship, it said, the counterdependent can become codependent, esopecially with another counterdependent. that all makes sense.


i think a part of this is i do nto want to have to aknowledge taht we may be incompatable, /// more to follow... gottas run at work
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