Never Ending Pain.....

Old 06-05-2011, 07:01 AM
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Never Ending Pain.....

So my exabf went missing three weeks ago and was apparently out robbing banks and stores for drug money. Nothing like seeing his strung out mug shot on the news. Im glad he has been arrested and maybe this time he will actualy go to jail instead of allowed back out on the streets, however some one posted bail again...wth! Possibly to go to detox????????? I dont get why they would allow bail!!!!!! I am an emotional wreck...again. I cant describe the feelings and how they range from profound sadness to anger to symapthy to just plain old feeling sorry for myself for getting involved in the first place...ughhhhh! I wish I could just close the door and forget everything the good and the bad. How is it that these people can be so loving and giving and convincing and then commit such calous acts??????? I know...I know....drugs!!!! I try to understand it but its so frustrating!!!!!!
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Old 06-05-2011, 08:09 AM
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Jeez, now that's a winner! What an addict will do for a fix, never ceases to amaze me, and the legal system, what a joke!

You will never figure out the mind of an addict, keep working on you, try and forget about him, he is not worth your time and effort.
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Old 06-05-2011, 08:49 AM
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I'm so sorry that you had to experience seeing someone you love pasted all over the news. I'm sure that hurts deeply.

Unfortunately, it's another one of those things that we have no control over. I know I don't understand the addict in my life. I can't truly understand something that I have never experienced. But with daily work, I do find that I am getting better and better at controlling my reactions (most specifically pain) to his behaviors and actions. Limiting my exposure to him has certainly helped me in my efforts to lead a healthier life as well.

Embracing that which we do control and releasing that which we have no control over is liberating......but it takes a lot of work (at least it did for me.....I must be a slow learner).

Take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 06-05-2011, 09:07 AM
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Jeez, now that's a winner!
Sadly that is SOP for many A's.

I am grateful that he is your EX.

Just because he still has 'enablers' in his life now, does not mean they will be there forever. Fortunately, or unfortunately, it comes to pass for most A's.

His consequences will catch up to him in time.

I understand your confusion, anger, sadness, and much more. You are still going through the grieving process.

It will get better, and eventually you will reach the point, where he is just someone you cared for at one time in your life.

Keep posting and sharing, as many of us have been where you are now and can share what we did to get through all the aftermath.

Love and hugs,
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Old 06-05-2011, 12:38 PM
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Time, a math teacher watched me drive myself crazy trying to understand an equation. She told me to stop trying to understand, just work the equation. She ended up giving me the answer and then I was able to work the equation. I still didn't understand and had to accept the entire equation was true, or I'd flunk. I've always been like that and she's a teacher I'll always remember
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Old 06-05-2011, 03:52 PM
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Sometime life has to whack me to get me to pay attention and learn. I used to learn in hindsight, today I pay attention and let the lessons of the past help me move forward a little wiser.

Your vision has been cleared today, you can see this for exactly what it is, and you have better days and better choices ahead of you. Don't look back, you're not going there.

Hugs
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Old 06-08-2011, 04:03 PM
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Time4me,

I get where you are coming from. My ex/addict fiance went out and robbed a local bank a few weeks after I ended the relationship and asked him to leave our home. I saw his pic on the news as well. Tough pill to swallow, nothing surprises me anymore. He has been gone for 5 years now and will be coming back to town here in a few weeks. It has taken me 5 years and counting to get back to a sense of *good* in my soul & spirit. I pray that I never see him again. I felt what you are feeling, I know it hurts bad, but I swear if I knew then what I know now about the peace I feel and have in my life, I would have ended that relationship a long time ago.

Focus on you....are there any Al-Anon meetings that you can attend in your area?
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