Have to keep on going...
 

Good evening everyone.

i have been away for a while b/c i don't have a computer at my new apartment and frankly don't have a lot of free time to check in as much as i would like. but i missed you guys. i missed you all a lot.

now it has been almost three months since my AH has seen the kids. it is really sad. he still has not made any attempts to contact my lawyer or to find one for himself to represent him. we are not legally separated, but have lived apart since march.

at first having my own place felt pretty good and it still does. sometimes, however, it is still hard to deal with the separation. i still get texts from him, although not as many as i used to. i mostly don't answer his calls which are now far and few in between. i do call him occasionally, maybe once every week or two.

i just feel sad right now. when we do talk, he makes everything sound so nice. he claims to be doing pretty good, looking for a job, working on the house, basically getting things done. no mentioning of the drug problem or if he is doing anything about it. he is trying to make plans with me and the kids, which i simply ignore b/c i don't think we are in that place yet (wonder if we ever will be again).

if i do ask him (not directly) if the issues that were the reason of us leaving are still there, the answer is either a weak no or he is not perfect and he is making progress (whatever that means).

so anyways, just wanted to give the little update or the lack of it and wanted to say hi again to everyone.

thank you guys for helping me get so far and for all the advice and support. love you all.

hugs and prayers.:Val003:

You're understandably sad and probably crazy busy, but I still hope you're finding some time for you. Be good to yourself and take a break when you need it, too :)

PacificSunrise....so glad to hear from you. Have been thinking of you, glad you checked in. Glad you are moved on, even though you are still working through things. Remember this is all his loss. Don't fall for the quacking! Please check in so we know how you are! Sending you great vibes!:c031:

so glad that you checked in. I was wondering how you were doing. It sounds like a pretty normal grief process going on. Of course, you are going to miss the good parts. And now you are away from the "bad parts" so they are not as prevalent in your mind.

Time will continue to help heal your wounds. No telling what he will chose to do but you will know for sure - by his actions. It's difficult to let go of dreams.

I just left my husband a week ago so I know about the early stages of what you are talking about. Luckily, we did not have kids together. It is really hard. Contact has made it worse for me so right now I am on no contact. It is better but then I have concerns about how he is doing. Guess that I am going through my own detox.

Grab a computer when you can and let us know how you are doing. Miss you!

I am sending hugs to you and those who are recently separated. I can only imagine the sadness and perhaps fear too, of facing life alone. I am thinking you will soon find yourself much braver and more capable than you imagine.

Please know that pain doesn't last forever and we are all walking with you here as your journey moves forward.

Hugs

Thank you guys so much for your support and replies. i guess i'm still clinging on to hope, and like you all have said, time will tell.

i really appreciate all the kind words and send out hugs and prayers to all, because i know that all of you are going through difficult times as well.

lightseeker,

i wanted to send out a special hug to you and let you know that you are in my prayers. stay strong and thank you so much.

love you all.