Been a while for me, Looking for Connection & May 23 HOPE FOR TODAY passage, please
 

Hi everyone. It's been probably 6 months or more since my last post. . . I was working my al-anon program with a sponsor who suggested I not post here for a while because. . . well, I don't really know, but I wanted to follow her suggestions so I did.

It turns out she and I are most likely parting ways, and I will be looking for a new sponsor. She's really helped me and I'm grateful for the help, but I just don't "want what she has" and I think-- i KNOW-- I need someone gentler to guide me for right now.

ANYWAY, so I'm back. I know enough to know I need support and shouldn't isolate, so here I am. Hi!

I was wondering if anyone could post for me the daily reading from "hope for today" from may 23? I was at a meeting and I loved what I heard, but I don't have that book nor can I find that reading online.

I'd really appreciate it. I hope everyone is well and I look forward to getting back in touch with you guys on this wonderful, terrifying, necessary spiritual journey.

With gratitude,
N&D

Welcome back NightandDay! Here is page 144 for May 23rd from Hope for Today:
(please excuse any typos as I am typing this on my lunch break lol)

After a recent Al-Anon meeting, two people commented that my voice was so soft that they couldn't hear what I was saying. I felt quietly stunned that they would care enough to ever mention this.

For days I wondered what God was trying to tell me. Thoughts of my alcoholic upbringing bubbles to the surface. It seemed as though my parents and I always misunderstood each other. Either they couldn't understand what I was trying to say, or they did understand but diddn't like what I was saying. I learned to keep my mouth closed or to keep my voice quiet. That's how I protected myself. I eventually convinced myself that I had nothing worthwhile to say.

Al-Anon is gentle. I could have remained silent for a long time in meetings. No one ever forced me to speak or called on my like a teacher to a student. If not for the comments of those two people, it would have been easy for me to continue soaking in the sharings, never giving anything back.

Another aspect of Al-Anon's gentleness is that the option to share is always there. I began to see those two people as bearers of an invitation to let God speak through me. To do that I needed to believe that what I had to say was worth sharing. Often I had to go ahead and speak, even though I doubted the value of my words. Gradually other members told me they apprecuated, even identified with my thoughts and feelings. My willingness to develope new behavior helped me with my voice, as well as my self esteem, became "louder." Thank you, Al-Anon, for those two special people who challenged me to grow.

Thought for the Day:

Speaking too little can be as self-defeating as speaking too much.

"Other people keep telling me I'm a worthwhile person. Maybe it's time I started to believe them"

I have to come back and say that I think I needed to read this again today. I read and listen more than I comment. I sometimes don't feel that what I have to say is good enough for people to take into account. Everyone's responses always seem to well written & well said...and well I feel that they are *so much better than what I could have said so why bother posting* But the last 2 days I have been trying to say what I feel and I know that deep down everything word is appreciated in some way or another. It's all about Progress not Perfection....even though I have to remind myself of that everyday.

Wow Miss Tara, Thats exactly how I feel. I read all the posts and some of them just touch me so much and I want to respond but somehow can't find the words and the others all respond so beautifully I can't think of anything new to say. I can totally relate to what your saying!

NightandDay
Welcome back! I have also left SR for periods of time in the past. Usually when I was doing well so I didn't think I "needed it" or time was so limited and I didn't make time for it. Hmmmm......just like meetings! I realize now that SR is an important part of my recovery....just like my meetings. I learn so much from everyone here. It's like having a bunch of sponsors or sponsoring a bunch of people in a way. I garner bits of wisdom from everyone here. I see myself reflected in everyone here. I recognize my own issues as I read about the issues that others are having. And if anything I ever post helps just one person in their healing process.....it's worth it. So many people here on SR have helped me.

Glad you're back. Just a thought......perhaps you could give a reader's digest version of your story so that newcomers can get to know you better?

Welcome back.....

gentle hugs
ke