Okay, so I'm back again
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Maryland
Posts: 24
Okay, so I'm back again
Hi Everyone,
This will be the stupidest question ever....
Whaaaat is a relapse??
I'm having more problems with my older daughter than my AS. He (19 years old) has been through an intensive outpatient program (finished last week), goes to 5 to 8 NA meetings a week, plus family sessions etc. He has been clean for more than two months.
Two days ago, he came home and had been drinking. His drug of choice is pot.
We were very upset because this sets him back. We feel that he has relapsed. His older sister (21 years) freaked out on us because she says that he should be able to have a drink once a week and it's not a big deal. (Ignore the fact that he's under 21 so it's illegal) I think SHE got him the booze because SHE doesn't understand what's going on.
I realize that it is ultimately his responsibility, but so much emphasis was placed on the DOC at his program that they don't see it as a relapse because it's not a "drug". It's alcohol (???)
This has been a big part of his problem that people around him, people he trusts have mislead him (his best friend's father taught an entire group of boys "responsible" drug use when he was in high school. We didn't realize that the guy was such a low life.)
Vandawglier.
This will be the stupidest question ever....
Whaaaat is a relapse??
I'm having more problems with my older daughter than my AS. He (19 years old) has been through an intensive outpatient program (finished last week), goes to 5 to 8 NA meetings a week, plus family sessions etc. He has been clean for more than two months.
Two days ago, he came home and had been drinking. His drug of choice is pot.
We were very upset because this sets him back. We feel that he has relapsed. His older sister (21 years) freaked out on us because she says that he should be able to have a drink once a week and it's not a big deal. (Ignore the fact that he's under 21 so it's illegal) I think SHE got him the booze because SHE doesn't understand what's going on.
I realize that it is ultimately his responsibility, but so much emphasis was placed on the DOC at his program that they don't see it as a relapse because it's not a "drug". It's alcohol (???)
This has been a big part of his problem that people around him, people he trusts have mislead him (his best friend's father taught an entire group of boys "responsible" drug use when he was in high school. We didn't realize that the guy was such a low life.)
Vandawglier.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
His sister is an enabler and she'll keep freaking out until she bothers to learn about addiction. I'm shaking my head about alcohol not being a drug. Your son is aware of AA, is your daughter? It exists for a reason. Did you ask her if she got the booze for him?
What are your conditions for him living with you? Are you working a recovery program?
What are your conditions for him living with you? Are you working a recovery program?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 83
Ditto to everyone above... alcohol is a drug, and if he has attended even one NA meeting then he knows that because that axiom is included in the preamble of every NA meeting. It does not matter what his original DOC is - if he drank, then that is a relapse.
Have you considered taking your daughter to a couple of meetings of Al-Anon or Nar-Anon? It would help her learn a little about the disease of addiction and possibly she will not enable him in such a way in the future.
Have you considered taking your daughter to a couple of meetings of Al-Anon or Nar-Anon? It would help her learn a little about the disease of addiction and possibly she will not enable him in such a way in the future.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by Vandawglier 
I'm having more problems with my older daughter than my AS.
Sounds a tad bit like you are having problems accepting that you have no control over your adult children. May I welcome you to the reality show, called life as it is, not as we expected it.
He (19 years old) has been through an intensive outpatient program (finished last week), goes to 5 to 8 NA meetings a week, plus family sessions etc. He has been clean for more than two months.
I realize that it is ultimately his responsibility, but........ (???)
No buts. He is responsible for himself, his choices and outcomes.
This has been a big part of his problem that people around him, people he trusts have mislead him ...........
He blames you. You blame other people. Can you put this monkey where it belongs?
It does not sound like he is ready to embrace sobriety, yet. That's his choice.
It's your choice if you want a front row, center seat to the show, or not.
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