Blogs


Notices

Okay, so I'm back again

Old 05-24-2011, 10:12 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Maryland
Posts: 24
Okay, so I'm back again

Hi Everyone,

This will be the stupidest question ever....

Whaaaat is a relapse??

I'm having more problems with my older daughter than my AS. He (19 years old) has been through an intensive outpatient program (finished last week), goes to 5 to 8 NA meetings a week, plus family sessions etc. He has been clean for more than two months.

Two days ago, he came home and had been drinking. His drug of choice is pot.

We were very upset because this sets him back. We feel that he has relapsed. His older sister (21 years) freaked out on us because she says that he should be able to have a drink once a week and it's not a big deal. (Ignore the fact that he's under 21 so it's illegal) I think SHE got him the booze because SHE doesn't understand what's going on.

I realize that it is ultimately his responsibility, but so much emphasis was placed on the DOC at his program that they don't see it as a relapse because it's not a "drug". It's alcohol (???)

This has been a big part of his problem that people around him, people he trusts have mislead him (his best friend's father taught an entire group of boys "responsible" drug use when he was in high school. We didn't realize that the guy was such a low life.)

Vandawglier.
Vandawglier is offline  
Old 05-24-2011, 10:26 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Chino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Blog Entries: 3
His sister is an enabler and she'll keep freaking out until she bothers to learn about addiction. I'm shaking my head about alcohol not being a drug. Your son is aware of AA, is your daughter? It exists for a reason. Did you ask her if she got the booze for him?

What are your conditions for him living with you? Are you working a recovery program?
Chino is offline  
Old 05-24-2011, 04:20 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 83
Ditto to everyone above... alcohol is a drug, and if he has attended even one NA meeting then he knows that because that axiom is included in the preamble of every NA meeting. It does not matter what his original DOC is - if he drank, then that is a relapse.

Have you considered taking your daughter to a couple of meetings of Al-Anon or Nar-Anon? It would help her learn a little about the disease of addiction and possibly she will not enable him in such a way in the future.
marshallzhukov is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to marshallzhukov For This Useful Post:
laurie6781 (05-24-2011)
Old 05-24-2011, 04:26 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Alcohol is a drug. It is a central nervous system depressant.

Alcohol kills more than any other drug, guaranteed.
Freedom1990 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Freedom1990 For This Useful Post:
laurie6781 (05-24-2011), wicked (05-24-2011)
Old 05-25-2011, 10:47 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
outtolunch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by Vandawglier View Post

I'm having more problems with my older daughter than my AS.

Sounds a tad bit like you are having problems accepting that you have no control over your adult children. May I welcome you to the reality show, called life as it is, not as we expected it.

He (19 years old) has been through an intensive outpatient program (finished last week), goes to 5 to 8 NA meetings a week, plus family sessions etc. He has been clean for more than two months.

I realize that it is ultimately his responsibility, but........ (???)

No buts. He is responsible for himself, his choices and outcomes.

This has been a big part of his problem that people around him, people he trusts have mislead him ...........
He's 19, been charged with crimes, been to rehab and is likely going through the motions of going to many meetings a week. He clearly knows the score and how to score.

He blames you. You blame other people. Can you put this monkey where it belongs?

It does not sound like he is ready to embrace sobriety, yet. That's his choice.
It's your choice if you want a front row, center seat to the show, or not.
outtolunch is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to outtolunch For This Useful Post:
anvilhead (05-25-2011)
Old 05-25-2011, 12:08 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,315
I agree with the others, your AS knows the score. Alcohol is a drug and members at his NA meetings would NOT consider him clean.
Serenity Bound is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:01 PM.