They are Rude Rude Rude!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
They are Rude Rude Rude!
Hi Everyone,
I have had about enough of my ex-mil and my ex-sister-in-law with their low behaviour when they call my home for one of my sons. I am not sure if I should just ingnore it or make a comment. When they call and I happen to answer the phone instead of say "Hi Carol, this is Barb is Bruce there", they just say "Bruce There". What I have been doing is saying "Oh Hi Sharon, how are you, I will get him for you". I know they have no use for me, as they feel that when I sold our home, that I should have given my in-laws money for the money that they spent and gave to my exah. I know they did try to lien my home, as the Manager from my Bank called me and told me they had been in to see him, plus they were trying to do other things as well behind my back, they got mad at the BM because he could not do nor would he do somethings that they wanted him to do and they were asked to leave his office. You don't put liens on homes through the bank anyway, it is done through the Government Land Titles. Previous to this all happening I had gone to a lawyer to get anything I could done to protect myself from the money exah was racking up, she put this CPL on the house that was done through the courts, it protected it from anyone going after it for any other causes other than the bank for non payment. Not in my wildest dreams did I expect my in-laws to be making a claim.
My ex-in-laws are quite wealthy and my sister-in-law claims that took advantage of it. It is just not so, my exil's set it all up for him to go into this poush Recovery Center here, I knew nothing about it until the day before he was to go they came to town to take him, he ran away. About 2 weeks later he agreed to go, he only lasted 10 days and was removed for using, I don't think they were required to pay the whole sum but I gather it was a quite a bit they had to pay. Like many of us have had to do, take away anything to do with money, bank cards, cheques, credit cards ect, plus I would not allow him my car from experience, in-laws were so mad with me, told me I was degrading him...so on, so they took him back home with them, gave him their truck, cellphone and credit card...I'll say no more, you know what the out come was. So they feel that I should have repaid them from the sale of the house and they are going to be rude to me in any chance they can get.
Oh plus I would not give back SIL's dog after havig it for 3 years.
Rose
I have had about enough of my ex-mil and my ex-sister-in-law with their low behaviour when they call my home for one of my sons. I am not sure if I should just ingnore it or make a comment. When they call and I happen to answer the phone instead of say "Hi Carol, this is Barb is Bruce there", they just say "Bruce There". What I have been doing is saying "Oh Hi Sharon, how are you, I will get him for you". I know they have no use for me, as they feel that when I sold our home, that I should have given my in-laws money for the money that they spent and gave to my exah. I know they did try to lien my home, as the Manager from my Bank called me and told me they had been in to see him, plus they were trying to do other things as well behind my back, they got mad at the BM because he could not do nor would he do somethings that they wanted him to do and they were asked to leave his office. You don't put liens on homes through the bank anyway, it is done through the Government Land Titles. Previous to this all happening I had gone to a lawyer to get anything I could done to protect myself from the money exah was racking up, she put this CPL on the house that was done through the courts, it protected it from anyone going after it for any other causes other than the bank for non payment. Not in my wildest dreams did I expect my in-laws to be making a claim.
My ex-in-laws are quite wealthy and my sister-in-law claims that took advantage of it. It is just not so, my exil's set it all up for him to go into this poush Recovery Center here, I knew nothing about it until the day before he was to go they came to town to take him, he ran away. About 2 weeks later he agreed to go, he only lasted 10 days and was removed for using, I don't think they were required to pay the whole sum but I gather it was a quite a bit they had to pay. Like many of us have had to do, take away anything to do with money, bank cards, cheques, credit cards ect, plus I would not allow him my car from experience, in-laws were so mad with me, told me I was degrading him...so on, so they took him back home with them, gave him their truck, cellphone and credit card...I'll say no more, you know what the out come was. So they feel that I should have repaid them from the sale of the house and they are going to be rude to me in any chance they can get.
Oh plus I would not give back SIL's dog after havig it for 3 years.
Rose
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
None of what they did is your problem. If you feel they are rude, you can either say something to them (which will probably go in one ear and out the other), or you can ignore it, or you can just not answer the phone when you know it is one of them. You already know they aren't calling to talk to you.
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
Rose, I agree with Suki. None of what they did for their son has anything to do with you. You had your own losses with that relationship & you aren't trying to get recompense from them because it was their son. That is the most rediculous thing I've ever heard. No wonder the BM had them leave his office. If I were you, I'd ignore them. Aren't your son's old enough to answer the phone? If they don't get it when it's for them, then don't worry about it. Suki is right that you know they aren't calling to talk to you, so it's not your responsibility to answer. If your son's miss the call & want to talk to them, they can call them back, can't they? It sounds to me like they are just calling because they know that you'll answer & it gives them a chance to be ugly to you. That's just my 2 cents.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
They sound like they could haunt a house, Rose, and you are gracious by speaking to them at all and letting your sons decide for themselves if they want to talk to these boors.
They own their behaviour and you can clearly see them for that they are. Good for you for protecting your home.
The nice thing about people like them is that they are so obvious it is like they wear a badge saying "I am a jerk!!". Saves us a lot of time figuring that out.
Stay on your good path, Rose, smell the roses and let the fertilizer people stink up their own path.
Hugs
They own their behaviour and you can clearly see them for that they are. Good for you for protecting your home.
The nice thing about people like them is that they are so obvious it is like they wear a badge saying "I am a jerk!!". Saves us a lot of time figuring that out.
Stay on your good path, Rose, smell the roses and let the fertilizer people stink up their own path.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Rose.....if you have caller id and can see that it is them calling, perhaps just letting it go to voicemail or letting your son answer the phone would be the best for your serenity. I love Ann's comment....
That line cracks me up because they DO sound like they could haunt a house!
You aren't responsible for the money they provided to your ex. That was an issue between him and them. Gosh...bad enough that you had to endure the he77 of having an addicted spouse and the he77 of a divorce....now the house haunting inlaws? Oh brother.
gentle hugs
ke
They sound like they could haunt a house
You aren't responsible for the money they provided to your ex. That was an issue between him and them. Gosh...bad enough that you had to endure the he77 of having an addicted spouse and the he77 of a divorce....now the house haunting inlaws? Oh brother.
gentle hugs
ke
I AM CANADIAN
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Niagara Region, Canada
Posts: 2,578
wow...sounds like my late husband parents...the green eye monster came out ALOT...
I looked where it came from, a dysfunctional/alcoholic home that no one knows any better, EXCEPT the son and myself....its funny, i look way back at it now, and my husband and i where setting boundaries, but gettting flack for it...which is normal..we where trying to have a healthy household for ourselfs and the kids...they (in laws) of course DID NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT....not my problem!
move forward, let go and let god
I looked where it came from, a dysfunctional/alcoholic home that no one knows any better, EXCEPT the son and myself....its funny, i look way back at it now, and my husband and i where setting boundaries, but gettting flack for it...which is normal..we where trying to have a healthy household for ourselfs and the kids...they (in laws) of course DID NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT....not my problem!
move forward, let go and let god
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
YIKES!
Rose, my suggestion would be to avoid them like the plague.
Get an answering machine, and let it filter ALL your calls.
Your sons can be responsible for listening to their own messages and returning those calls.
Get yourself OUT of the middle.
(P.S. I have a MIL that could haunt house too...
)
Rose, my suggestion would be to avoid them like the plague.
Get an answering machine, and let it filter ALL your calls.
Your sons can be responsible for listening to their own messages and returning those calls.
Get yourself OUT of the middle.
(P.S. I have a MIL that could haunt house too...
) Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Thanks everyone for your replies. Yes I do have caller ID and for the most if they call and I see it is them I don't pick it up, though if I don't have my glasses on I don't even try to read caller ID, lost cause. The last thing I want is to even hear the sound of their voices, immediatley my stomach goes into a knott, triggers terrible feelings inside of me that bring back certain periods of that a nightmare of a time. It just ruffles my feathers that they enter into my space even if by phone with this smug attitude.
Rose
Rose
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Agreed, if I am unable to see who it is, don't answer. As I think there may be a few more calls to come from SIL, as my oldest son is leaving to go work in Alberta for a company she is working for. For what it does to me it, it is clear that I have work to be done on myself.
Rose
Rose
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
Having been one of the nastiest, combative alky's around back in the day, I was always ready for a verbal battle, and was pretty damn good at it too. (I am pleased to say that was a long time ago and I am a lot different now).
You know what used to stop me dead in my tracks? When someone was pleasant and nice to me. Can't flame a fire if the other party refuses to add fuel to it.
Even in my convoluted state, I recognized fighting someone that didn't take the bait was kind of like smacking Ghandi or the Dali Lama with a stick.
And nothing would gnaw at me more than having a bucket of water thrown on me like this - it was a major burn! I like the way you respond when they call.
LOL
You know what used to stop me dead in my tracks? When someone was pleasant and nice to me. Can't flame a fire if the other party refuses to add fuel to it.
Even in my convoluted state, I recognized fighting someone that didn't take the bait was kind of like smacking Ghandi or the Dali Lama with a stick.
And nothing would gnaw at me more than having a bucket of water thrown on me like this - it was a major burn! I like the way you respond when they call.
LOL
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