Pinked

Hi,
I lurked here a few years ago needing support while dating an addict. I found so much support by reading your posts and garnered so much information that finally allowed me to detach from my now ex addict and move on with my life.

I'm back now as the Mother of an addicted son. I will keep my story as brief as possible.

My son was an occasional weed smoker. I, stupidly, thought "It's just pot, I'd rather he do that than anything else" and buried my head in the sand. While his grades spiraled downward and his personality changed, while he slowly lost interest in the things he loved (music, creative writing, cooking)I buried my head in the sand. Fast forward 3 years and Tuesday morning arrives. To this day I don't know what made me go in to his room after he left for school, but I did. I went in to his desk drawer and found what I now know to be bundles of heroin. That day he came home and my ex husband, his brother and I confronted him. After brief denial he admitted to shooting up to 10 bags a day. He said he tried it the first time the first week in December and was hooked from Day 1. Wednesday he voluntarily allowed us to admit him to an inpt rehab facility and today is Day 7 there. We have had 2 family group meetings and I attended my first Nar-Anon meeting last night.
(Not my very first since I attended them while dating my addicted boyfriend).

Today I posted because I know I'm going to need this site for guidance and support. I un-lurked (is that a word?) because I don't want to simply be an onlooker, but to actively participate here and to learn as much as I can. I want to support my son without enabling him, want to love him without doing so to death.

So, I'm glad to be here if that makes sense and look forward to "meeting" all of you.

Thank you for boards like this

Kindeyes

Pinked
Welcome to SR.....again......

I understand your initial thoughts of your son's drug use. I don't think it's that unusual for parents to hope that it is just a phase that they are going through. It's a rude awakening when they progress to heroin or meth or crack.

It's good to hear that your son is in treatment and I'll keep him in my prayers.

I'm glad you're here. We all learn from each other. The support from others experience, strength and hope will help you get through this.

gentle hugs
ke

NTurn

Welcome back :ghug3

hope2be

Hello Pinked:
I think we have all walked the path you are walking now. I agree that this board has given me much insight and strength to move in the right direction. Recovery doesn't happen overnight, but it does give me hope where I had none. I too have adult children whose addictions and dysfunctions have led to more front row drama action than I care to talk about.

I am currently reading Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Childrenby Allison Bottke which is what my issue has been for a long, long time.

I also read any Melodie Beatty books I can purchase and recently began attending CODA meetings.

All of this activity keeps the focus on me which is so different than the past, albeit difficult for the codie in me.

Huggs

outtolunch

I remember the day that I found 100's of empty, teeny, tiny, skull stamped zip lock bags in my daughter's bedroom. Nothing quite like being elbow deep in the ole duct work, eh.

I would have lost my mind had it not been for this place.

Nina Kay

Hi Pinked & welcome. I too am a Mom of an alcoholic/addict son. He is grown. At first my son was only drinking with his friends, which is what everyone of the young people do in this little town. I didn't condone it at all, but I was sure that he would put it aside at the proper time. Guess what, he didn't at all. He went on to drink & obviously I never knew how much he was drinking because I never ever saw him drink or be drunk but one time. At 19 yrs old, he became deathly ill & was in & out of the ER & hospital for a whole month, with none of us knowing 'what in the world' could have caused this. Very long story short, he was a binge-drinking alcoholic & then he & his best friend went to work for an older couple doing construction, & they had introduced them to Marijuana, which in turn ended up being a springboard to the more dangerous drugs, Meth being his Drug Of Choice. So, as you can see, I do understand your thinking that he'd grow out of it & then it taking you by extreme surprise when it turned into the most unexpected nightmare of your life.

You are very wise to get into the recovery programs for yourself. I didn't know anything like that even existed for the first eight years of our trauma, nor about this recovery site. You are very blessed to have found all of this support & wisdom, early on. We are here for you & we do understand what you're going through. Keep coming back. ((((((HUGS)))))

coffeedrinker

i also welcome you.

no guilt for you. none. i have spent a lot of time wondering what i could have done differently so that my girl would not have grown up to be alcoholic. i am thoroughly convinced that the answer is Nothing.

please keep coming back around.

newnormal4me

I am so sorry...****{HUGS}}}

EJG123

It's good that your son is in treatment. I will pray for your son and family.