meggie122

Ah (11 days clean) to say he wants to work things out and maybe take me on dates and go see a marriage counselor. I told him I need more space and a way to build trust and accountability first. I don't even think he heard what I said because all he said back was "you don't even know if you want the relationship". That is not what I said! But if he isn't willing to build trust I'm not going to open my heart to that! So I guess now he knows he can't just get me back by being nice and that I mean business. Every time he has "tried" to get into some recovery I am right there at home believing him and he goes right back to the addiction in a few weeks. He says it's gonna stick this time- so I guess he needs to prove it! I hate how hard it is for me to hurt him! Oh and then through in there that it was all his fault. Well yes, it is, thank you. But that wasn't the point I was making!!

I have chosen to stick to my guns and detach. He needs to get better first if there is any hope of things working out. And I am just going to have to get used to being the tough guy.

suki44883

I think you did the right thing, too. Talk is cheap. He's talked a good game before but nothing changed. You have every right to hold out until you see long-term changes. The proof will be in his actions, not in his words. You done good!

lightseeker

Oh how I wish that I had done what you are doing! Let him show you what he is going to do. Talk is really cheap and you don't want to jump back into my chaos and drama.

You are right - he needs to get better first if things are ever going to work out.