Mother and Child Reunion

Old 05-09-2011, 05:24 PM
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Mother and Child Reunion

I am always watching for that touch of grace. Some little thing that means something and shows me that my HP is holding me gently in his embrace.

I had a wonderful mother's day weekend. I spent Saturday with my husband, my daughter and her boyfriend. Sunday morning was spent with dear friends who became parents in their late 40's to two beautiful adopted girls. and then Sunday evening went to dinner with my own beautiful Mother and my husband.

I didn't hear from my son....and I was ok with that.....until about 9:00pm. I had already gone to bed and fallen asleep. The phone rang and I knew by the caller ID that it was my son. He was calling from a friend's house that he stays with occasionally (my son is currently homeless).

I didn't answer it.

I decided not to answer it because the last encounter I had with my son was with police involvement and I'm just not ready to talk to him. Not from a punative point of view but from a perspective of self protection. He has used holidays before to try to assault my psychological and emotional security and I just didn't want to deal with it.

This morning......I turned on my Pandora Radio (it's so cool--I love Pandora) and an old song by Paul Simon came on "Mother and Child Reunion". I chuckled and asked my HP if that was his brand of humor or was he trying to send me a message in the lyrics of that song.

I don't know the answer to that......time will reveal the answers to so many questions I have.

I hope that my son knows that I love him. I hope that he knows that I didn't want to call the police. I hope that he knows that I have faith in him. I hope that he knows that just because I didn't answer the phone--it doesn't mean anything other than I still feel very vunerable. I hope that he knows that I pray daily that someday in some way we will have a mother and child reunion.

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 05-09-2011, 05:35 PM
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Ann
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Deciding not to answer the phone sounds like a good plan to me Kindeyes.

When you've been played as often as we moms have, it's okay to turn off the buttons and call it a day.

I'm glad your day was happy, mine was too.
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Old 05-09-2011, 06:26 PM
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I thought of you yesterday and sent you "gentle hug vibes"......did you get them?
ke
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Old 05-09-2011, 06:38 PM
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(((Kindeyes))))
Having made the same decision NOT to answer the phone if my oldest AS called, He didn't.

My AS is extremely angry at me and Mr. Moose, because in his deranged thought process, he thinks we are taking the baby mommas side of everything.

Such is life.
Live and let live.

Glad you had a good Mothers Day, Kindeyes.
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Old 05-09-2011, 07:34 PM
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Hello Kindeyes: I did not hear from AS at all. He is obviously extremely angry at me. And that is okay. I guess it means that it's hard to be in denial around me, which means his addiction isn't running the show when it comes to me.

But I did hear from my other two sons, and that was just so great. And when I went to the restaurant with friends, every woman got a rose (not a carnation, mind you!).

Life is good. God is good. Thanks for sharing.

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Old 05-09-2011, 09:05 PM
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Yes. I'm getting the same "you're on her side" thing from my son. It's so sad that they don't realize that it's their own behavior and addiction that is causing them to lose in the baby momma situation. Let them think what they want to think--we can't change their minds. They are in God's hands.

Sojourner
I'm glad you had a good Mother's Day even though you didn't hear from your AS. That's good recovery stuff there. When we can enjoy life and others around us whether our loved one is using or not.....that is what recovery is made of.

gentle hugs to you both
you are wonderful beautiful mothers
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Old 05-10-2011, 08:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Kindeyes View Post
He has used holidays before to try to assault my psychological and emotional security and I just didn't want to deal with it.

...

I hope that my son knows that I love him. I hope that he knows that I didn't want to call the police. I hope that he knows that I have faith in him. I hope that he knows that just because I didn't answer the phone--it doesn't mean anything other than I still feel very vunerable. I hope that he knows that I pray daily that someday in some way we will have a mother and child reunion.

gentle hugs
ke
I can totally relate. I cringed while answering the phone on Mothers Day. AD called from the recovery house 3 times - mostly with "I need" and "I hate" kinda things. Sigh.

I shoulda done what you did. Not answer. I'll have to try that sometime.

I pray that someday both of us and will have a mother a child reunion. Hugs.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:17 AM
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BIG REEREE PINK HUGS to all of you MOMS!!

Love ya bunches!!
Rita
aka ReeRee to all my grandbabies!!
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:43 AM
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I know just what you mean by not answering the phone. I got a call and debated whether or not to pick it up.

There have been many times I've chosen not too.
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:18 PM
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The strangest thing happened to me. I have gone from NC to very limited C with my AD. Mr. Habit has allowed her in the basement to get some of her things. The door that goes into our living area is locked so she doesn't have full access to our home. And, she only has access to the basement when Mr. Habit is at home. She does not have a key to our home.

Several mornings ago, I walked into our kitchen and there was a balloon, a card, and a small gift from our AD for Mother's Day. I was very grateful for the acknowledgment. Yet, I was puzzled how she got into our home. She called and I answered her call. I thanked her and told her that I loved her. As it turns out, we had forgotten to close our garage door. The kitchen door is never locked. So, she was able to walk right into our home. And, we also forgot to turn on our security system which would have automatically gone off if she had opened the kitchen door. Were they coincidences? I don't know. But, her response to me was..."See, God really wanted me to be able to leave those things for you".

"God works in mysterious ways".

Kindeyes, your son knows that you love him. He knows that you pray for him. I pray that one day you will have a mother and child reunion.

Hugs.
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Old 05-10-2011, 06:55 PM
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oh, kindeyes, i am sorry. but glad too.

glad that you sound like you're in a really, really good place.

what a difficult decision you made.

peace...
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Old 05-10-2011, 07:15 PM
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(((Kindeyes)))
I am glad that God is giving you strength to handle this situation in the healthiest way. The best way for you and for your beloved son.
He knows how much you love him, how could he not? All of us can feel it through your posts, how very much you love and wish for recovery for him. I believe that your love and steadfast holding on to what is right is helping him more than anything. No matter what, he knows that he is a loved person, who is being prayed for by one of the finest moms ever.
So glad that your Mother's day was good and peaceful.
love and hugs.
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