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Oh my its been a while...

Old 05-07-2011, 07:24 PM
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Oh my its been a while...

I have thought of you often but haven't had computer at home in a while. My AD now has a precious angel!! That little girl is my heart. AD is not clean nor is her husband. Neither works and really no place to call home. I decided to call DHS and ask a few questions and someone close to us both told her that I had called so as with everything with my AD, she now refuses to let me see the baby, which is breaking my heart. I know I will see the baby again I just wish my AD would just stop with the drama. When asked about the call I told her I just asked a few basic questions and tried to explain to her that I really thought until they get their lives together that the baby would be better off with me and that is when all hell broke loose!!! Its been a really bad week!!! This with my AD, my mother is the one who told her I had called so you all know how mad I am at my mother for doing this,her answer was that I was trying to hurt my daughter. Im truly don't want to hurt my AD but as always Im the one who feels guilty. I dread tomorrow with every grain of my being. A young man that was in long term rehab with my AD committed suicide Thursday afternoon, my heart hurts so for his family. I told my ex husband today that when I sent her to rehab that I wanted for her to come out fixed!! Which after doing this for 6 long years with my AD I realize is not the case!!!! And I thought his mothers journey will never be over and my AD will never be fixed. OH!!! I also lost my job this week!!!! Im sorry for the long rambling post but I had to get it out!!! Happy Mothers Day to you all!!!
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Old 05-07-2011, 08:09 PM
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obsessed - i am so sorry to hear that you are having so many things causing you stress right now - coming here will give you a chance to get some of it out and receive support from so many who understand - you and your daughter and granddaughter will be in my prayers -
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Old 05-08-2011, 03:45 PM
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Yes you will see that dear baby again, I believe in that.

You are doing what mothers of addicts dread and that's etting go while continuing to pray for and love a child you cannot cure.

Mother's day is about honoring the role of our mothers and the role of being a mother and yet somehow that seems to be backfiring for you. I'm so sorry for that.
You are doing what is needed even if it your mother and daughter do not see it that way.

I wish you strength and patience. As with the weather, with time the winds of your circumstances will change.

Hang in there.

Alice
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Old 05-09-2011, 08:20 AM
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obsessed,

Wow! You are dealing with alot right now. I'm glad you shared.

Let Go and Let God handle the stress and just breath.
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