What's a good way to "break up" with a drug addict?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 146
What's a good way to "break up" with a drug addict?
I saw him recently and caught him stealing my money. Luckily, it wasn't that much. He also drives recklessly when I'm with him. I don't even know if he has a license. Those are the 2 big reasons why I want to end contact.
I also know if I stop enabling him, he won't talk to me anymore.
I don't know if its best to tell him in person or just ignore his calls/texts. I know if I tell him in person, he'll think I'm joking or whatever
This is the guy who I have a FWB relationship with on and off for over a year and have been friends for over 4yrs.
His drug addiction has gotten way worse over the last year. He has full-blown drug addiction and is in denial. I was reading the signs on the internet. I don't know what he's addicted to now. Far as I know he's addicted to painkillers and dope. On top of that, he likes his booze but not an alcoholic
I don't have contact with his family.
I also know if I stop enabling him, he won't talk to me anymore.
I don't know if its best to tell him in person or just ignore his calls/texts. I know if I tell him in person, he'll think I'm joking or whatever
This is the guy who I have a FWB relationship with on and off for over a year and have been friends for over 4yrs.
His drug addiction has gotten way worse over the last year. He has full-blown drug addiction and is in denial. I was reading the signs on the internet. I don't know what he's addicted to now. Far as I know he's addicted to painkillers and dope. On top of that, he likes his booze but not an alcoholic
I don't have contact with his family.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
My opinion is to ignore him, go no contact. Block his number, do whatever it takes. Rip the band-aid off. He'll keep doing it if you continue to choose to be around him. If you let it go on, you're paying him to _____.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
Be straight forward and tell him you are moving on. Don't even mention that it is because of the drugs or his behavior, because you will here, "I will stop or I will change". Just say you are done, be firm, and move on.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by SarahBear 
I saw him recently and caught him stealing my money.
Most folk call the police when they encounter a thief.
Luckily, it wasn't that much.
We codependents have a tendency to rationalize it's not so bad.
He also drives recklessly when I'm with him. I don't even know if he has a license. Those are the 2 big reasons why I want to end contact.
How about a third reason...you are worth more than this.
I also know if I stop enabling him, he won't talk to me anymore.
So...
I don't know if its best to tell him in person or just ignore his calls/texts. I know if I tell him in person, he'll think I'm joking or whatever
Originally Posted by SarahBear
He also showers me with affection when I see him
Seems to be a connection between the last 2 statements. The affection is the payoff ? He's an addict doing what addicts do. He is not capaple of anything beyond drug seeking. If you want affection, buy a dog or cat. They are not going t steal from you or put you in harms way.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
Well.....Don't see him anymore.
Easy!
He stole from you so worrying about how to handle his feelings?
My sense is telling me that you care for him as more than FWB or you'd just not answer his calls and move on easily.
If you have feelings involved then that makes it harder to see how damaging he can be for you.
Drop him like a hot potato and don't look back.
Easy!
He stole from you so worrying about how to handle his feelings?
My sense is telling me that you care for him as more than FWB or you'd just not answer his calls and move on easily.
If you have feelings involved then that makes it harder to see how damaging he can be for you.
Drop him like a hot potato and don't look back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 146
Originally Posted by Babyblue
Well.....Don't see him anymore.
Easy!
He stole from you so worrying about how to handle his feelings?
My sense is telling me that you care for him as more than FWB or you'd just not answer his calls and move on easily.
If you have feelings involved then that makes it harder to see how damaging he can be for you.
Drop him like a hot potato and don't look back.
Easy!
He stole from you so worrying about how to handle his feelings?
My sense is telling me that you care for him as more than FWB or you'd just not answer his calls and move on easily.
If you have feelings involved then that makes it harder to see how damaging he can be for you.
Drop him like a hot potato and don't look back.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
Rather than focus on what's good for him, focus on what is good for you.
Shine a light on what you want for yourself, what you want in your life, framed in the positive, and think about how you can attract those types of people into your life.
It has been drilled into my head that I have no control over people, places or things, and the only control I have is how I act myself.
People cannot "save" addicts....they have to save themselves.
Action...consequence.....and a strong bottom line -that's what gets people sober.
Good luck....
Shine a light on what you want for yourself, what you want in your life, framed in the positive, and think about how you can attract those types of people into your life.
It has been drilled into my head that I have no control over people, places or things, and the only control I have is how I act myself.
People cannot "save" addicts....they have to save themselves.
Action...consequence.....and a strong bottom line -that's what gets people sober.
Good luck....
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