Today is his FIRST full day!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: knoxville tn
Posts: 6
Today is his FIRST full day!!
tuseday my boyfriend had a friend drive him 8 hrs away and his dad checked him into rehab yesterday!! im still having a emotional rollercoster with being so mad, of what he has put us through, why did i let him do this to us, then 5 mins later, im so sad, i cant even stand it, i miss him, and when i say him, that guy i met when i was 13 and this "new"guy came in our life alomost 4 years ago now! i miss my old guy! in oder for him to go to rehab today-from his family, he is not allowed to call or have any contact with me or his daughter! they dont like us! and yes i mean US, his daughter, their "granddaughter" they dont like us! so with that, i cant call, i dont know whats going on, where he is at, i know what state but that all i can say! the friend that drove him still has contact with him and tells me whats is going on, that kind of thing-because if his family found out he was still talking to us, they will sign him out and kick him to the curve, witch they have done manytimes before-they why we left out of state! Just hoping today, on his first day there, he will start to do something different,..trying not to get my hopes up of what could happen in the furture with him, with us, trying to take it step by step, day by day or even hr by hr,..this is out of my control and i think the more i know on what to expect then the more i know about whats going on,..i could feel like i "know" i dont know if he can call or when, i guess they keep a track of who calls, so thats why i cant have the number, really wish his family would grow up, it isnt my fault he did this, he did this, not me! i kicked him out to hit rock bottom and now they think im a bad person! i wish i could talk to him to see how he is and how hr is doing,..but i know he is not him right now and its going to take awhile before he knows what is going on,..i pray and pray he stays with it, but thats all i can do i wish i could do it for him, i would go through it for in in a min, but i cant and i hope him saying he is so done with it, and being done with it cames together
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I don't believe his parents have anything to do with him not being able to call you, they don't have that much 'power.'
It is in all likelihood the Re-habs rules. The person cannot call anyone, including mommy and daddy, and cannot receive calls either. They want the individual to focus on their recovery and only their recovery.
In the meantime, what are you doing for YOU. There is a great book, available on Amazon at a very reasonable price, that many of us on here have used that is by Melodie Beattie called "Co Dependent No More." Many of us with this book, our copy is tattered, dog eared and highlighted to the max. I do believe this book might help you immensely!
Hang in there, it is hard, but you will get better with 'detaching' from the A and working on yourself.
Love and hugs,
It is in all likelihood the Re-habs rules. The person cannot call anyone, including mommy and daddy, and cannot receive calls either. They want the individual to focus on their recovery and only their recovery.
In the meantime, what are you doing for YOU. There is a great book, available on Amazon at a very reasonable price, that many of us on here have used that is by Melodie Beattie called "Co Dependent No More." Many of us with this book, our copy is tattered, dog eared and highlighted to the max. I do believe this book might help you immensely!
Hang in there, it is hard, but you will get better with 'detaching' from the A and working on yourself.
Love and hugs,
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
He is where he needs to be, to either learn how to get and stay sober, or not. Totally his thing.
Do something for YOU today. What have you been neglecting in caring for YOURSELF?
Take that little girl for some icecream and a romp around the park.. it's not all about him..
Do something for YOU today. What have you been neglecting in caring for YOURSELF?
Take that little girl for some icecream and a romp around the park.. it's not all about him..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
The unknown is always scary but he is where he needs to be to get help. Try not to take it personally if he cannot contact you. Often gf's can get more of the energy from the addict then their recovery program so that is why they don't want you to be in touch right now. The longer he is there, the more priviledges he will have to call, etc.
Use this as a chance to get your head (& spirit) together as well as time with your little one. He is in capable hands, getting all the support he needs. I know it is tough to not know but it is more about them than it is about anything you are doing 'wrong'.
You may not be able to speak with him but you can call the treatment place to ask questions (not necessarily about him but about their program). There are confidentiality reasons as well so they won't tell you much. The thing is, you really won't ever know because you aren't in the program. In time you'll know and understand. That is why you need to focus on yourself and your daughter for the time being.
Hang in there! It is very hard but the alternative (losing him to drugs) is far worse.
Use this as a chance to get your head (& spirit) together as well as time with your little one. He is in capable hands, getting all the support he needs. I know it is tough to not know but it is more about them than it is about anything you are doing 'wrong'.
You may not be able to speak with him but you can call the treatment place to ask questions (not necessarily about him but about their program). There are confidentiality reasons as well so they won't tell you much. The thing is, you really won't ever know because you aren't in the program. In time you'll know and understand. That is why you need to focus on yourself and your daughter for the time being.
Hang in there! It is very hard but the alternative (losing him to drugs) is far worse.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Brittany))) - maybe look at this another way. This is YOUR first day to focus on you and your daughter. He's where he needs to be, in very capable hands of teaching him the tools of recovery.
Now is the perfect time to work on you...get through the anger (after I got through being angry at the "him's" in my life, I found out I was very angry at myself for allowing the behavior I did, and contributing by being a codie). This stuff takes time, and now you have it.
The book ((Laurie)) mentioned is great, as is coming here and talking about what you're feelings are. I'm not saying "don't talk about him", just that we would love to hear about YOUR day, what YOU are feeling. Most of us have been down the same road, and I found it very comforting to have people "walk with me" as I processed the many, many emotions I was going through.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Now is the perfect time to work on you...get through the anger (after I got through being angry at the "him's" in my life, I found out I was very angry at myself for allowing the behavior I did, and contributing by being a codie). This stuff takes time, and now you have it.
The book ((Laurie)) mentioned is great, as is coming here and talking about what you're feelings are. I'm not saying "don't talk about him", just that we would love to hear about YOUR day, what YOU are feeling. Most of us have been down the same road, and I found it very comforting to have people "walk with me" as I processed the many, many emotions I was going through.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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