eaglette

One of the most important things I have picked up on here is the need to focus on myself and my own recovery rather than that of my SO. However, I am feeling distanced from him and cannot shake the fear that I will lose him because I don't know how to balance focusing on myself with maintaining the intimacy of a relationship, as he is focusing on himself as well. I am also having a hard time summoning the motivation and self-discipline to start with self-improvement because I am used to dealing with it by smoking weed. I know I need to focus on myself, but my relationship is important too and I am struggling with finding a healthy equilibrium.

keepinon

how about start with some meetings..the peopel ther have been in your shoes and can show you how to live..

Chino

eaglette, have you considered flipping your thinking around, to being excited about discovering yourself instead of fearing losing him? Your relationship will work out exactly the way it needs to, with both of you discovering yourselves

As far as weed goes, google depression and natural ways to overcome it. You may need help from a doctor if you're not able to get over the hump on your own. This might be a good question for the substance abuse forum

Chino

eaglette, I just saw you already posted about it in the SA forum. I hope you find some helpful suggestions there or at meetings, and that you continue focusing on yourself

Abundance

Your fear is natural ... I felt it, too. And I didn't want to accept my truth in the present for what it really was. Denial. And so I knew that the more I focused on myself I was going to recognize just what is not okay and what is okay - and the remedy might just be... I lose him. Whether it's him making the move to leave or me. That sudden change ... it frightened me.

But - I went for it - and started focusing on myself - and that very thing happened - I got strong and I realized that my happiness and most of all my sanity meant way much more to me than my relationship. '

Who knows what will happen as you start focusing on yourself - there is a dynamic that will take place - but you don't really know - you have no control over other things, places, people in your life - just control of yours.

Empower yourself and see what happens!!!!!