Need help

Old 04-17-2011, 05:13 PM
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Need help

So my best friend is an alcoholic and opiate addict. Thursday night he tried to kill himself by drinking and drugs but instead hallucinated and attacked me physically (we are roommates.) I'm ok, just a few bruises. I called the police and they took him to the psych ward. Hes still there. I've gone to visit him twice (he would have never hurt me sober and he is a great person sober, he goes through 6-9 month sobriety and then crashes what this was). He apologized and cried and swears this was rock bottom for him and showed me all the things he is going to do to get help and get better, but I look at him and feel complete indifference. Nothing. No anger, hate, love, nothing. What do I do??
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Old 04-17-2011, 05:52 PM
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If I were you, 1) I would not be visiting him, 2) I would be looking for a new roommate, 3) I would be filing charges, and 4) I would not believe a word he says ...................... and would stay far away and watch 'his actions' from a distance.

Sounds to me like that was manipulation to keep you from filing charges.

You see saying he was 'high' and on a binge is just an excuse for him. NO ONE has the right 'to attack you physically' drunk, high, or sober.

Have you tried AlAnon? It can be a big help to us in working on ourselves and allowing the A to be whatever they are going to be, including getting the consequences of their actions.

J M H O

Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing as we do care very much.

Love and hugs,
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Old 04-17-2011, 06:49 PM
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Addicts say alot of things ..hopefully this is his bottom, but who knows? You need to protect yourself and I second all of Lauries ideas.Sounds like it was awful, you did the right thing..it's up to him now..no amount of "help" or love will make an addict quit if they are not ready.
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Old 04-17-2011, 08:11 PM
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Thank you guys. No pets or children. I was wondering more on the healing for me...I don't think its normal that I have no feelings about the situation at all. Shouldn't I be angry or something? I feel hollow?
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Old 04-17-2011, 09:56 PM
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Whatever you are feeling, or not feeling, right now is all part of your healing process. it is not unusual to be unsure how to process your emotions. Your best friend physically attacking you most likely inspires a plethora of contradictory emotions which require a certain amount of processing. Feeling nothing is a defnense mechanism against this internal onslaught. How you proceed from here will have a lot to do with affecting your capacity to work through all of this and heal.

I hope he fulfills his promises, but if I were you I would come up with a plan regarding what to do if he does not. It is up to you if you want to talk to him about it, but you need to get yourself to a safe place. You were okay this time, but what about the next? If he can resort to physical violence once, he can resort to it again.
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Old 04-18-2011, 06:01 AM
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I don't think it's odd to feel nothng. I suspect it's a defense mechanism. Sometimes our minds and bodies go "numb" to allow us to detach from the person/situation.

The most important thing at this point is to protect yourself above all else.

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 04-18-2011, 06:59 AM
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I think time and distance are what's needed here.

You don't have any reason that obligates you to continue to visit him, to forgive him, to anything.
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Old 04-18-2011, 02:15 PM
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I'd feel numb, too.

Great defense mechanism!!!
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Old 04-21-2011, 05:52 PM
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Unhappy help

I really really need help. Yesterday was 4/20, national pot day or whatever, and my girlfriend who is 17, decided to smoke some of her moms joint without her mom knowing. This is the first time she has ever done any kind of drug. Also, that same day, while she smoked, she took half an anxiety pill and was off to high school. That same day, she promised me it wouldnt be an everyday thing, well today i asked her if she did it today and she said yeah, and that she was going to take some pill for nerve damage, started with a g, but she decided not to. But she informed me that she'll smoke whenever she can get away with it without her mom noticing any pot missing. I really feel like she is becoming addicted quick and its like I'm watching a train approaching a broken rail, and its getting there quick. And by the way, i am clean, never touched drugs and never will, and she knows i hate them, in which she promised that she would never do it. Somebody please help, I love this girl too much to see her fall...
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