The vortex
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Well....he's still alive. He called. I didn't answer the phone but he left a message. He seems to be in a better mental state for the time being.
Thank you all so much for your kind and supportive words.
I hate what drugs does to our loved ones.
My prayers are also with all of you and your addicted loved ones. May they all see the light and love of their higher power......and the people who love them.
gentle hugs
ke
Thank you all so much for your kind and supportive words.
I hate what drugs does to our loved ones.
My prayers are also with all of you and your addicted loved ones. May they all see the light and love of their higher power......and the people who love them.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 178
(((kindeyes))) I recognise your story from my own - so very similar. It has helped me reading this thread to realise just how familiar this story is to so many, and also helped me to realise the reason they do it is because they acutally TRUST that you love them no matter what.
It wasn't my child for me, it was my ex, but the love was just as unconditional and I have blamed myself a lot because he didn't make it. But reading this made me realise it's like a private hell that addicts go through, and maybe it does help them a little bit just to know there's someone who does love them no matter what. (Even though it is absolute Hell to be on the other end of calls like that)
I'm so glad your son rang you and let you know he's okay, and I really hope and pray that he can beat this for his sake as well as your own.
You are doing the right thing, even though it's such a hard thing to do. I regret buckling so many times as I know I didn't help him to get his own strength back. I just didn't know.
I pray to God that drugs can be taken away from this world. I hate what they do to people, and also to the ones that love them.
Thinking of you, and thanks so much for your post, straight from the heart. Many hugs xxx
It wasn't my child for me, it was my ex, but the love was just as unconditional and I have blamed myself a lot because he didn't make it. But reading this made me realise it's like a private hell that addicts go through, and maybe it does help them a little bit just to know there's someone who does love them no matter what. (Even though it is absolute Hell to be on the other end of calls like that)
I'm so glad your son rang you and let you know he's okay, and I really hope and pray that he can beat this for his sake as well as your own.
You are doing the right thing, even though it's such a hard thing to do. I regret buckling so many times as I know I didn't help him to get his own strength back. I just didn't know.
I pray to God that drugs can be taken away from this world. I hate what they do to people, and also to the ones that love them.
Thinking of you, and thanks so much for your post, straight from the heart. Many hugs xxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Well, just got up this morning to a phone message that my son is now in jail. He asked a friend of his to call me.
Oh well.....I'm going to assume that it's his HP at work and let whatever happens happen.
God does work in mysterious ways.
He got picked up on a bench warrant for failure to appear on a misdemeanor assault charge. I hope that he gets the opportunity to sit there for a while. Of course, I won't be contacting him or bailing him out. Unfortunately bail is only $2500 so I think that means that one of his buddies will only need to come up with $250. But with most of the people he hangs out with......it might as well be $250,000....they're broke too.
Man.....addiction reminds me of the EverReady Battery Bunny....it just keeps going and going and going.
I'm hoping and praying that he gets the opportunity to sit and think for a few days or more but since it's only a misdemeanor, I suspect he'll be out soon. The courts have bigger fish to fry.
oh well........
Oh well.....I'm going to assume that it's his HP at work and let whatever happens happen.
God does work in mysterious ways.
He got picked up on a bench warrant for failure to appear on a misdemeanor assault charge. I hope that he gets the opportunity to sit there for a while. Of course, I won't be contacting him or bailing him out. Unfortunately bail is only $2500 so I think that means that one of his buddies will only need to come up with $250. But with most of the people he hangs out with......it might as well be $250,000....they're broke too.
Man.....addiction reminds me of the EverReady Battery Bunny....it just keeps going and going and going.
I'm hoping and praying that he gets the opportunity to sit and think for a few days or more but since it's only a misdemeanor, I suspect he'll be out soon. The courts have bigger fish to fry.
oh well........
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Burnsville, MN
Posts: 966
Kindeyes,
This is all so much deja vu for me too.
You've been so strong throughout the weekend, I know it isn't easy, but keep up the good work. I am sending you a big hug from one mom to another.
This is all so much deja vu for me too.
You've been so strong throughout the weekend, I know it isn't easy, but keep up the good work. I am sending you a big hug from one mom to another.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
(((KE)))
I spend many of days numb when it comes to matters that involve my AS. I think it's my body's way of protecting me.
I like it better than the panic I used to feel.
I'm glad you son's safe and in jail. The failure to appear was something hanging over his head anyway, so it seems like perfect timing.
I hope you're able to find your way back to peace. One thing that I've learned is even when i get off track, it always a little shorter route back
(((Hugs)))
I spend many of days numb when it comes to matters that involve my AS. I think it's my body's way of protecting me.
I like it better than the panic I used to feel.
I'm glad you son's safe and in jail. The failure to appear was something hanging over his head anyway, so it seems like perfect timing.
I hope you're able to find your way back to peace. One thing that I've learned is even when i get off track, it always a little shorter route back
(((Hugs)))
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Well, I didn't contact him in jail nor did I bail him out. But he's out now. I haven't heard from him and that's ok. I suspect they booted him out because the charge was a misdemeanor and with jail over crowding, they don't keep them long. I doubt anyone bailed him out.
I'm suspect I'll hear from him in the next few days.
I'm doing ok. Yes....it does seem that things are escalating. He has commented on the difference in upbringing between him and his buddies. He had every opportunity to do whatever he wanted to do and they had few opportunities and very little (if any) positive parental guidance.
I'm maintaining my serenity at some level. Perhaps not in the total "serenity zone" but doing pretty good.
I'm not sure where his bottom is, keepinon. Everytime I think he's reached it, he achieves a new low. I guess his "bottom" is not mine to choose.
gentle hugs
ke
I'm suspect I'll hear from him in the next few days.
I'm doing ok. Yes....it does seem that things are escalating. He has commented on the difference in upbringing between him and his buddies. He had every opportunity to do whatever he wanted to do and they had few opportunities and very little (if any) positive parental guidance.
I'm maintaining my serenity at some level. Perhaps not in the total "serenity zone" but doing pretty good.
I'm not sure where his bottom is, keepinon. Everytime I think he's reached it, he achieves a new low. I guess his "bottom" is not mine to choose.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
Of course we are always amazed at their bottoms..ours usuallly come way before theirs!I guess I'm just seeing this pattern again..things spiraling quickly..he's running out of options..and it happened really fast this time once he started using again..maybe he will get tired of the exact same things happening over and over..last time when he got to this point it wasn't long before he wanted treatment..
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
((KE)) I have to remind myself, often, that I have to take care of ME, put MY recovery first, and have faith............you see my name "Serenity Bound" is what I want....haven't quite acheived it yet 
only in small doses. I, like some others, see your son's consequences as perhaps a closing in on his bottom. I, too, felt my AD should have reached her bottom many, many times. In fact, she now claims that her bottom wasn't really that big a deal (oh my)....you see she was stopped by police with a crack pipe on her & crack 01/14/10...(which she now tells me she swallowed) anyway, the very next day she chose recovery. Her clean date is 01/15/10 and by the grace of God will celebrate 15 months in recovery this coming friday. Now let me tell you that even though she was stopped by police on 1/14/10 she was NOT charged until 12/2010..almost a year later, and yet she still chose recovery. perhaps because she had been in jail before and expected anyday to be charged. I truly believe it was HP's plan, and it was time.
Sending prayers that your son's time for recovery is close.
Hugs,
Chris
only in small doses. I, like some others, see your son's consequences as perhaps a closing in on his bottom. I, too, felt my AD should have reached her bottom many, many times. In fact, she now claims that her bottom wasn't really that big a deal (oh my)....you see she was stopped by police with a crack pipe on her & crack 01/14/10...(which she now tells me she swallowed) anyway, the very next day she chose recovery. Her clean date is 01/15/10 and by the grace of God will celebrate 15 months in recovery this coming friday. Now let me tell you that even though she was stopped by police on 1/14/10 she was NOT charged until 12/2010..almost a year later, and yet she still chose recovery. perhaps because she had been in jail before and expected anyday to be charged. I truly believe it was HP's plan, and it was time. Sending prayers that your son's time for recovery is close.
Hugs,
Chris
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Kindeyes, your posts have me 
I relate so much to you, as some years ago my eldest son went through the same and now one of my other sons. I always felt like it was my fault, where did I go wrong but I too know that all my sons have been given the best growing up to help them be fine adults. The chose the wrong path. My eldest son was much like yours, I just never knew where he was, alive, dead, warm, safe? his bottom came after 9yrs and Im one of the lucky mums who now has a son who has come such along way. The drugs have definitely affect him but he has grown so much.
I only wish you all the best kindeyes for you and your son. I feel pain when I read about your son, only because its what I went through and now going through again with another son. Mums, boy, we get dealt alot hey?
You are a beautiful person and I bet your son sees that too.
JJ
I relate so much to you, as some years ago my eldest son went through the same and now one of my other sons. I always felt like it was my fault, where did I go wrong but I too know that all my sons have been given the best growing up to help them be fine adults. The chose the wrong path. My eldest son was much like yours, I just never knew where he was, alive, dead, warm, safe? his bottom came after 9yrs and Im one of the lucky mums who now has a son who has come such along way. The drugs have definitely affect him but he has grown so much.
I only wish you all the best kindeyes for you and your son. I feel pain when I read about your son, only because its what I went through and now going through again with another son. Mums, boy, we get dealt alot hey?
You are a beautiful person and I bet your son sees that too.
JJ
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Thanks everyone for your support. No word from AS and I'm ok with that. I haven't called or texted him and he hasn't attempted to contact me. I just need room without drama and I know that any phone call = drama....so I'll just enjoy the quiet time for a while.
I'm working very hard on not trying to predict the future in any way. I'm not trying to guess his bottom or how he feels or what he will do or what might happen or if he will ever choose recovery. I feel as though I have thoroughly surrendered to that powerlessness......and that's a good thing. I haven't given up on my son but I've given up trying to control him or trying to guess what's going to happen next.
Surrender is different than giving up though. And with surrender comes serenity.
gentle hugs
ke
I'm working very hard on not trying to predict the future in any way. I'm not trying to guess his bottom or how he feels or what he will do or what might happen or if he will ever choose recovery. I feel as though I have thoroughly surrendered to that powerlessness......and that's a good thing. I haven't given up on my son but I've given up trying to control him or trying to guess what's going to happen next.
Surrender is different than giving up though. And with surrender comes serenity.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Tn.
Posts: 29
I have been there so many times in person or via phone and my heart feels for you tremendously. Just know that he is sick and it is most likely a pity party plee for a way out. Most addicts threathen that quite often if you don't do this I'm gonna do this etc. when reality is they are crying inside theirselves and want attention and to point the finger and make it someone else's fault. You are STRONG and we learn to love and pray from a distance praying for you and your son
praying for you and your son
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Keeping your boy in my prayers, Kindeyes, and all our addicts here.
I think that the numbness is a good sign that our recovery is working. I don't know about you, but I lived on adrenaline for years and even on my calmer days was only a trigger away from that adrenaline rush that kicked in every day. Adrenaline and fear were staples in my diet.
When we find faith, the stabbing fear ends and then so does the adrenaline attacks. Numbness is the new peace, a way of being okay until we find our balance again.
Numbness is our friend when you are the mama of an addict.
Your son knows he is loved. I know that because my own son told me that even on his worst day, he knew it too.
Hugs
I think that the numbness is a good sign that our recovery is working. I don't know about you, but I lived on adrenaline for years and even on my calmer days was only a trigger away from that adrenaline rush that kicked in every day. Adrenaline and fear were staples in my diet.
When we find faith, the stabbing fear ends and then so does the adrenaline attacks. Numbness is the new peace, a way of being okay until we find our balance again.
Numbness is our friend when you are the mama of an addict.
Your son knows he is loved. I know that because my own son told me that even on his worst day, he knew it too.
Hugs
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