Allergic to drama
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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Allergic to drama
I didn't know what to name this thread but sometimes I do feel like I have an allergy to drama. I don't like it.
In the past I have experienced a severe allergic reaction to drama. That allergic reaction caused me to argue, try to "talk some sense" into him, cry, manipulate, have heart palpatations and try to shove my opinions down my AS's throat. Baaaaad allergic reaction.
Naranon, SR, and all of the reading that I do DAILY is my antihistamine. It allows me to not experience all of those very awful and painful allergic reactions to drama.
Yesterday could have been an absolute hell. A call from my AS after a 3-4 day bender on meth. I was able to stay calm and allow him to own his own problems. Then later, a call from my exhusband spewing his allergic reaction all over me because AS had gone to his house and brought his drama with him. THEN another call from my AS. But I was able to not get all caught up in the drama between the two of them........my "antihistamines" were working great.
I was able to maintained a zen-like calm. I was able to sleep last night. No tossing and turning. My chest feels great. No tightness or feeling like my heart or brain is going to explode.
AS is now saying that he wants to get sober.....again. I said that's good, lemme know how it goes.
Ahhhhhhhh......just being able to breathe without that "allergic" reaction has been so very nice.
I used this example because it was the best way I could explain how this program (12 steps) works for me. Just like allergies, you can't always stay away from those things that cause the allergic reaction but you CAN do what you need to do to keep the allergic reaction under control.
They say "it works if you work it". It does.
gentle hugs
ke
In the past I have experienced a severe allergic reaction to drama. That allergic reaction caused me to argue, try to "talk some sense" into him, cry, manipulate, have heart palpatations and try to shove my opinions down my AS's throat. Baaaaad allergic reaction.
Naranon, SR, and all of the reading that I do DAILY is my antihistamine. It allows me to not experience all of those very awful and painful allergic reactions to drama.
Yesterday could have been an absolute hell. A call from my AS after a 3-4 day bender on meth. I was able to stay calm and allow him to own his own problems. Then later, a call from my exhusband spewing his allergic reaction all over me because AS had gone to his house and brought his drama with him. THEN another call from my AS. But I was able to not get all caught up in the drama between the two of them........my "antihistamines" were working great.
I was able to maintained a zen-like calm. I was able to sleep last night. No tossing and turning. My chest feels great. No tightness or feeling like my heart or brain is going to explode.
AS is now saying that he wants to get sober.....again. I said that's good, lemme know how it goes.
Ahhhhhhhh......just being able to breathe without that "allergic" reaction has been so very nice.
I used this example because it was the best way I could explain how this program (12 steps) works for me. Just like allergies, you can't always stay away from those things that cause the allergic reaction but you CAN do what you need to do to keep the allergic reaction under control.
They say "it works if you work it". It does.
gentle hugs
ke
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 37
OM Gosh!!!
"AS is now saying that he wants to get sober.....again. I said that's good, lemme know how it goes"I want to be like you when/if I grown up !!! I haven't been down the road of "relapse" as of today so I don't know how that feels. But now I know what is sounds like for sure!!!
Great post ! Thank you for sharing.
Roo
"AS is now saying that he wants to get sober.....again. I said that's good, lemme know how it goes"I want to be like you when/if I grown up !!! I haven't been down the road of "relapse" as of today so I don't know how that feels. But now I know what is sounds like for sure!!!
Great post ! Thank you for sharing.
Roo
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Kindeyes, any way to post this on the F&F for alcoholics? I happened to stumble on this from the home page and this is awesome...I am actually going to copy and save this for later reminder. Never heard it put this way before but it is such a great analogy and one I can easily wrap my head around.
Thanks!!!
~T
Thanks!!!
~T
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hydrogirl
Definitely could be thought of as a contagious infection too! I guess in a way, because it is a disease, it does spread throughout the family and loved ones. Speaking for myself here, I know that I have been just a "sick" as my AS in the past.
gentle hugs
ke
Definitely could be thought of as a contagious infection too! I guess in a way, because it is a disease, it does spread throughout the family and loved ones. Speaking for myself here, I know that I have been just a "sick" as my AS in the past.
gentle hugs
ke
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Originally Posted by keepinon 
Again..your commitment to your program in good times and bad is an example for us all.
Yes. There are good times and bad. I do try to share those times when I fail miserably as well as those times where I feel strong in my program. I don't ever want anyone to feel that this process is one that requires perfection. I think sometimes people feel that if they can't do it perfectly that it isn't worth doing.
It's worth it. We're all worth it.
gentle hugs
ke
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I met with my son today to buy him some lunch and talk. It went well although it was hard to see him so thin and his skin so torn up. He's very emotional which is typical as they come down from a spurt on meth. He's staying in the garden shed of some friends of his (good people). Sleeping on a concrete floor with a couple of dirty blankets.
He says he can't do this anymore and he knows he needs to get clean. But those are words--it's actions that count. I hugged him. Told him I loved him. And left.
I can't even imagine living like he's living. It is beyond my comprehension. It really messes with a mother's head and heart but I'm doing ok. I am really holding on to faith that he'll want to stop this nonsense if he's left to dance with his addiction alone.
Gotta go take some "antihistamines" to keep my mind and heart in a good place.
gentle hugs
ke
He says he can't do this anymore and he knows he needs to get clean. But those are words--it's actions that count. I hugged him. Told him I loved him. And left.
I can't even imagine living like he's living. It is beyond my comprehension. It really messes with a mother's head and heart but I'm doing ok. I am really holding on to faith that he'll want to stop this nonsense if he's left to dance with his addiction alone.
Gotta go take some "antihistamines" to keep my mind and heart in a good place.
gentle hugs
ke
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
There has been lots of drama at work and I have been level and calm because I hate drama.
Sometimes I feel like I am in a bubble of calm around all the rest. It is a nice bubble and I attribute it to my burgeoning ability to know that how others behave or react IS NOT in my control.
Ohmmmm
Sometimes I feel like I am in a bubble of calm around all the rest. It is a nice bubble and I attribute it to my burgeoning ability to know that how others behave or react IS NOT in my control.
Ohmmmm
Last edited by Babyblue; 04-05-2011 at 08:13 PM. Reason: bad grammar!
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