headheldhigh

Dh just celebrated 1 month alcohol free. I have seen some great growth in him as a person and in his recovery. We have had some really great conversations and I see potential where I had all but given up hope on our relationship.

Unfortunately there is a but. Dh's psychiatrist ignorantly put him on Klonopin about 3 months ago for anxiety. Dh complained that he was having a hard time because we were always fighting (he neglected to say it was because he was an emotionally abusive alcoholic with a substance history.) He was given a high dosage, which dh upped even more - and as a result he is addicted. He's at the end of his prescription and trying to stagger it out so he doesn't experience significant withdrawls, but he is a mess. He ransacked our bedroom looking for my prescription of Ativan (I've had it since August and only used 10 pills), has had his 1st craving to drink since quiting and is acting like a jittery junky.

It's hard hearing him beg me for one of my pills to help him get through this. I know I have to stick to my guns, but it's hard to hear the anger he is directing at me. I know he isn't rational. I wish I could offer him support in a constructive way (encouraging words, a hug, a distraction) but he is a mess. I'm worried. I just wish he had the strength to get over this hump. He just wants to take the easy way out. I know he really is committed to wanting to be 100% clean - but he doesn't like to do anything unpleasant (in general in all aspects of his life.)

Luckily he is on antabus so I don't need to worry about him drinking to compensate - a small reassurance. I suggested an AA meeting. Hopefully he will go.

I just would like a little moral support.

Thanks

hello-kitty

!!!

Yikes! That's not good. Sounds like he's white knuckling it and that it's not going to well... Meetings will help if he is serious about staying clean and off all drugs... I'm glad you suggested it. If he's not serious, it be just a matter of time before he gives up trying to find your pills and turns back to alcohol or finds other sources to get drugs. Either way, you have no control of his addiction. You didn't cause it. You can't control it. You can't cure it. (And it's BS for him to blame it on you - NOT a good indicator of accepting personal responsibility for his issues which is key in recovery.)

Why don't you try a alanon meeting? It's often said around here that we need to work the recovery that we would like our family member to work.

It certainly couldn't hurt. It would show him that you are committed to recovery and it might inspire him to go to one of his own.

If he is, he'll do it. If he's not, he won't. It's that simple. Meetings will help if he is committed.

headheldhigh

He's actually going to AA meetings - I'd say on averge 4 a week plus a 1:1 therapy session.

I know in his heart he wants to be clean. But he is the type of person that things come easy to and expects everything to be that way.

hello-kitty

That's great. I understand what he's going thru. I went thru cravings when I first got clean -and they made me do crazy things. If I had been able to get my hands on drugs I would have used. However, I had changed the people, places and things in my life enough so that using wasn't an option anymore, even if I wanted to.

Have you considered Alanon? I ask again because working your own recovery from someone elses addiction/alcoholism is the best way to support someone while they are working theirs.

keepinon

I'm with Hello Kitty..alanon is the way to go

laurie6781

The support you can offer him is to 'suggest' he contact his psych doctor and ask him/her for a withdrawal plan. Klonopin takes a while to withdraw from and is a slow process and CAN BE DANGEROUS if done the way he is doing it. He can get off of it with a slow decrease in dose, overseen by his psych Dr.

I agree with ^ stay close with your AlAnon groups and folks. Keep you meds hidden or remove them from the house.

This won't be easy, but he can do it. And even though you say he is on antabuse that may not stop him. Yes it makes the majority of folks sick but does not work with all and some can and have (me) drank while on it with little or no repercussions.

Remember we here at SV are with you in spirit, so you do have a whole 'bunch' of folks with you.

Love and hugs,