Not sure how to title this except to just say it...I lost my son
 

I haven't been on this forum for a couple of weeks. I wanted to check in and let you all know the horrifying news. My son passed away on March 6th. He died in his sleep here at home. We don't know the cause of death yet. It will take up to 90 days for the toxicology report. But it appears to be possibly substance related. We don't know for sure, but due to past history, it is what we suspect naturally. All we know for sure is that he seemed to be okay when he came home the night before. We know he wasn't feeling well for a few days which we thought was allergies. We know that he took Nyquil at around 2:30am. He slept all day. I was in and out all day but heard him snoring most of time when I was here. When I realized that I did not hear snoring, I went in to check on him and he wasn't breathing. The paramedics tried but could not bring him back. He is gone. I had to make all his final arrangements. I have been in a daze and a state of shock and I still am. Family has been by my side and have been my backbone. I just realized today that it has been two weeks. It seems like it was only yesterday. I am in a daze. I don't know if I will ever come out of this daze. I am trying to cope for my other two children. But I am devastated with a big, huge hole in my heart and stomach. I don't know how I will get through this. It seems impossible. I have tried to check in with the Naranon online group a couple of times. Its just hard to focus. But I know that I will need to continue to gather support from this forum and Naranon. My son has battled this addiction for 6 years, but only recently did I seek out support. There is some reason that I was guided by my higher power to join this forum as well as Naranon only a week before my son's death. The same higher power that brought him home to me only a week before he died.
One reason why I felt that I had to come on this forum to notify you all is because I felt the need to give you all a message. This is SO important...
Please, please, please, hug your ALO and let them know you love them. Even while practicing detachment, it is important to let them know that you love them. Do it today and every day. Because you just don't know if you will have the chance tomorrow.

Claudia (Donny's mom forever)

(((((claudia))))) i am so sorry for your loss - there are just not words that bring any true comfort but i will pray that God holds you in the palm of His hand and guides you through this horribly difficult time - keep pressing in to share your pain with us - we want to help you carry your burden that is why we are here - i am so, so sorry -
debra

(((HUGS))) I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I had some words of comfort, but please know that we will help however we can.

SO sorry for your loss..it is all us parents' worst nightmare..I hope you are able to have moments of peace..

Claudia,

I am so sorry for your loss..all my prayers.

(((Claudia))) - I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I do hope you continue to read/post here. Unfortunately, there are other mom's/dad's who have been through this, and though the one I lost was an XABF, it was still hard.

We are here for you, sweetie.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Dear Claudia,

My heart bleeds for you, and your sweet son.
I am just so very sorry.

You loved him, and did your best to be there for him.

God has Donny in His arms now, where there is no more pain, only perfect peace.

May you find strength in God's love.

chicory

Claudia,

I am so sorry to hear about your son. Please make every effort to take care of yourself during this time, and seek out others in your area who understand what you are going through.

You and your son are in my prayers,
Edd

Claudia, I'm so sorry you lost your son :(

You and your family are in my prayers, and I'm asking God to please grant you serenity.

My daughter has been clean for just over a year now, but that is just for today. I do not know what tomorrow will bring except for more love from me to her.

May Donnie always rest in peace.

I'm so so sorry SunriseSunset.
Prayers for you and your family and all who knew and loved Donny.

D

I'm so sorry about your loss and you'll be in my prayers.

Claudia
I went back and read your original post. I recognized my son in your post. So very similar. Age. Thoughts. Words. Actions. Addiction.

My heart is hurting for you. I don't want to imagine what you are feeling--I am so very fearful of that outcome. Saying that I am sorry for your loss.....it just doesn't seem to be enough.

You are in my prayers. Donny isin God's hands.

Many gentle hugs for you
ke

(((((Claudia))))
I'm so sorry you lost your son. I believe I understand a bit about your pain...I lost my daughter. The only comfort I had early on was to know that she was no longer suffering...I knew she really hated what addiction was doing to her and was struggling to try to beat it.

I wish I could find words that would bring comfort, but I know the pain is something that only time eases. Thank you for your message. I am praying that you find comfort and that in time, memories of the good times with your son bring you peace.

(((Claudia)))
I'm so sorry to learn of your loss; you & your family are in my prayers during this time of sadness and grief.

There are no words to say how very sorry I am, Claudia, I cannot imagine how painful this is.

Please know that my heart and my prayers go out for you and for all who loved Donny. May he rest peacefully in the arms of God and know how much he is loved.

Please feel free to post here as you go through the days ahead. We are all walking with you in our hearts.

Hugs and deepest condolences. :hug:

as much as sorry really doesn't even begin to convey the meaning of this, i truly am sorry for your loss and want you to realize he will always be by your side in spirit . .
im here if you need someone to talk with ..

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
WH Auden

I am so sorry for your loss. I could feel the pain in your post.
I wanted to share the poem above, as I think it expresses the pain of loosing someone that you love that much. I have nothing else. :grouphug:

(((Claudia)))

May the God of all comfort be with you today and in the days to come.

I am praying for your family.

We are all grieving with you. Thoughts, prayers and huggs.

I am so very sorry for your loss (((Claudia))))