learningnew

I think I am doing the right think by telling my wife to leave the house but I am so confused. I have heard her say over and over that she is committed to recovery, but then get kicked out of treatment (of course "that was my fault because I told them she was drinking" - according to her), stop and start going to meetings, go through stages of denial, relapse, and make excuses for everything. But of course, when I tell her to leave - she is more committed then ever in her mind.

One part of me thinks it isn't for me to judge her commitment level and I should stand by her and be happy she is trying and at least not actively using. And let her work the program and her plan of recovery with her sponsor.

The other part of me says I shouldn't settle for her not going to treatment, and wants her to leave and become active in recovery on her own. If she is committed to being sober she would stay committed and she would be able to come back relatively soon. I'm tired of wondering - is she going to a meeting tonight? Is she really going to do this? Is she doing this for herself or just to stay with me? This has been going on too long

Is there anyone here that has been in a similar spot?

I've read plenty of posts and heard in meetings about separating from those actively using - but what about the addicts saying they are going to get clean?