Don't forget the good child.
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
Don't forget the good child.
Hi to all my family here on SR. It has been a while. I love you all and think about you every day.
I want to share a reminder with all of you. In the process of dealing with addiction, we tend to get so wrapped up in it all that it consumes every spare moment of our life. So the things and the people around us that aren't causing a problem, pretty much get put on hold. You know the ones, the good child that never causes a problem or the spouse that is your rock while you deal with a child that is addicted. We tend to take them for granted. Just like we take ourselves for granted. Our tunnel vision is on addiction.
I'm here today to remind you, addiction can steal your life the same way it does the addicts if you let it.
Take a moment to look around you, give that good child a healthy dose of attention that they probably really need. Take that spouses hand that has been your rock, and tell them how much you love and appreciate them and all they do.
Don't forget the good people around you that don't have an addiction, you may find that they really need your attention but would never ask for it.
I'm still in a pretty dark place and I hate addiction more than I can ever express. More so now if that is even possible.
My good son, my first born, 26 years old. Diagnosed with cancer. The child that doesn't drink, has never even tried pot or any other drug, doesn't smoke and dedicates his very life to my first born grandbaby, has a very rare form of lymphoma. He ignored the signs for years, didn't want to add more onto my shoulders, so he kept quiet. He kept quiet for too long.
I wasted so much time wrapped up in other peoples addiction, I didn't take care of myself or the other people in my life.
For those of you right now that are so wrapped up in another persons addiction, please, take a day and look around you, look at yourself and ask yourself, am I taking care of me? am I taking care of the good child? have I taken for granted the other people in my life?
Take a day and set aside addiction. Take a day for yourself. Take a day for your family. Give yourself permission to live life to the fullest, because you never know when that chance is gone. Laugh, dance and love as much as you possibly can. And if you have kids, take the one that is quiet, that never causes you problems, and spend some special time with them.
There is so much more to life, let go and live it.
As always, my warmest hugs and prayers for all.
B
I want to share a reminder with all of you. In the process of dealing with addiction, we tend to get so wrapped up in it all that it consumes every spare moment of our life. So the things and the people around us that aren't causing a problem, pretty much get put on hold. You know the ones, the good child that never causes a problem or the spouse that is your rock while you deal with a child that is addicted. We tend to take them for granted. Just like we take ourselves for granted. Our tunnel vision is on addiction.
I'm here today to remind you, addiction can steal your life the same way it does the addicts if you let it.
Take a moment to look around you, give that good child a healthy dose of attention that they probably really need. Take that spouses hand that has been your rock, and tell them how much you love and appreciate them and all they do.
Don't forget the good people around you that don't have an addiction, you may find that they really need your attention but would never ask for it.
I'm still in a pretty dark place and I hate addiction more than I can ever express. More so now if that is even possible.
My good son, my first born, 26 years old. Diagnosed with cancer. The child that doesn't drink, has never even tried pot or any other drug, doesn't smoke and dedicates his very life to my first born grandbaby, has a very rare form of lymphoma. He ignored the signs for years, didn't want to add more onto my shoulders, so he kept quiet. He kept quiet for too long.
I wasted so much time wrapped up in other peoples addiction, I didn't take care of myself or the other people in my life.
For those of you right now that are so wrapped up in another persons addiction, please, take a day and look around you, look at yourself and ask yourself, am I taking care of me? am I taking care of the good child? have I taken for granted the other people in my life?
Take a day and set aside addiction. Take a day for yourself. Take a day for your family. Give yourself permission to live life to the fullest, because you never know when that chance is gone. Laugh, dance and love as much as you possibly can. And if you have kids, take the one that is quiet, that never causes you problems, and spend some special time with them.
There is so much more to life, let go and live it.
As always, my warmest hugs and prayers for all.
B
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 105
Wonderful post Frankly~~~~I was so wrapped up in helping my second son that I did ignore my first. After I finally let go of all my negitive thoughts, let go of trying to help and let go of trying to control my first son did I apologize to my second son for the time I took away from him and his children. Its all so sad when you finally 'GET IT"..Thanks for posting this. It may help alot of folks here. Hugs~
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
frankly, thank you for your post and reminding us all to enjoy life even under difficult times.
My prayers go out to your son and you and your family. I hope your son gets through this okay and goes into remission, there are new very effective treatments available for lymphoma, if I can help with any research information or if you want to talk, please feel free to pm me.
bless you all, hugs
My prayers go out to your son and you and your family. I hope your son gets through this okay and goes into remission, there are new very effective treatments available for lymphoma, if I can help with any research information or if you want to talk, please feel free to pm me.
bless you all, hugs
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Frankly))
My thoughts & prayers are with you & your precious son!!
Mr. Pink Acres & I had the discussion a few weeks ago - as his youngest son once again in his active disease "messed up" and everyone was screaming suggestions, telling Mr. Pink what he needed to go do "fix him", help him out, blah, blah, blah - most of it was about buying the addict son a house, giving him property, etc
I calmly said - well are you prepared to give the same amount of money to your other son ~ after all they are preparing to build a house this year - don't you think they would like about $10 - $15 thousand dollars too? Why don't they deserve help too? If not even more than your other son ~ we haven't done near as much for them as we have for son # 2??
And I then I asked why should be put ourselves in massive debt for someone who isn't trying to help himself at all?
Not trying to hyjack your thread - just thankful to you for reassuring my thoughts - that we do so much for the squeaky wheel that we tend to forget about ourselves and the other ones in our lives that are just as deserving of our care & attention.
PINK HUGS, THOUGHTS & PRAYERS for you, both of your sons & all you family!!
Rita
My thoughts & prayers are with you & your precious son!!
Mr. Pink Acres & I had the discussion a few weeks ago - as his youngest son once again in his active disease "messed up" and everyone was screaming suggestions, telling Mr. Pink what he needed to go do "fix him", help him out, blah, blah, blah - most of it was about buying the addict son a house, giving him property, etc
I calmly said - well are you prepared to give the same amount of money to your other son ~ after all they are preparing to build a house this year - don't you think they would like about $10 - $15 thousand dollars too? Why don't they deserve help too? If not even more than your other son ~ we haven't done near as much for them as we have for son # 2??
And I then I asked why should be put ourselves in massive debt for someone who isn't trying to help himself at all?
Not trying to hyjack your thread - just thankful to you for reassuring my thoughts - that we do so much for the squeaky wheel that we tend to forget about ourselves and the other ones in our lives that are just as deserving of our care & attention.
PINK HUGS, THOUGHTS & PRAYERS for you, both of your sons & all you family!!
Rita
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by frankly
Take a day and set aside addiction. Take a day for yourself. Take a day for your family. Give yourself permission to live life to the fullest, because you never know when that chance is gone. Laugh, dance and love as much as you possibly can. And if you have kids, take the one that is quiet, that never causes you problems, and spend some special time with them.
There is so much more to life, let go and live it.
There is so much more to life, let go and live it.
You never fail to inspire me, every time you post I can hear your heart speaking to mine.
I too wasted too much time neglecting those who deserved my love. I can't change that, but I have tried to make up for it the past few years and learned that living in the darkness of addiction was a bad choice for me and today I cling to the light.
My prayers go out for your boy, Frankly, and for you and your family who have been through so much. He sounds like a wonderful son and is blessed to have a mama like you.
Today I will do something special for myself and those I love...because Frankly reminded me that life is all about goodness, if I just take time to think about it.
Big hugs and lotsa love and prayers.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
((((((Frankly))))) Thank you for the reminder of how addiction truly is a family disease. I am so sorry that you and your son are experiencing a clear illustration of its impact. You know you are both in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 540
Thankyou for your posting, prayers to you and your beautiful son. We all need that gentle reminder to not let the addict consume our lives. We have all put our loved ones on the back burner while wrapped up in the chaos.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
I have a story that my daughters HS counselor shared with me when I was losing it...she had 2 sons..one was an addict and she KNEW she would be getting a call from the police, morgue, hospital one day.She , of course lived in fear.One night the phone call came and her son had been killed in a car accident..the OTHER son..she told the officers that they had the wrong ID, that it was son #2..they assured her it was not.Son #2 eventually got his stuff together..son # 1 had never done a drug in his life..
This story really helped me remember that I have no idea what lies ahead for any of us..helped me to refocus on the healthy people in my life.I truly beleive that the energy we crazily focus on on sick loved ones helps keep them sick..putting the energy elsewhere frees everyone..
This story really helped me remember that I have no idea what lies ahead for any of us..helped me to refocus on the healthy people in my life.I truly beleive that the energy we crazily focus on on sick loved ones helps keep them sick..putting the energy elsewhere frees everyone..
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
