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-   -   Jail (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/221750-jail.html)

katie44 03-07-2011 06:18 PM

Jail
 
Finally AS is in jail, he is to attend a bail hearing on the 11th I pray that he does not make bail. Turns out all the cheques he stole from us the bank reversed the charges and the money was recouped from another persons account.
A 25 yr. old single mother an innocent victim that he befriended. Addiction has no conscience. For the first time in a long time, I slept through the nite last nite.
We are not worried he will be trying to break in. We know he is safe. For now he is in the right place.

suki44883 03-07-2011 06:23 PM

I am so glad to know you are no longer worried about all that. Enjoy your peace. :hug:

Seren 03-07-2011 06:24 PM

Awwwww ((katie))....Mr. HG and I know only all too well the relief that comes when you learn that your out-of-control loved one is in jail. My A stepson got out of his last stint sometime in January.

I hope very much that this will be the wake-up call that your son hears!

Hugs, HG

Kindeyes 03-07-2011 06:29 PM

Oh Katie.....it's so sad when we feel relief that they are in jail, isn't it. But we understand what you mean. There's a part of me that wishes my son could wind up in jail for a fairly long period of time so that he can get himself out of the nonsense he's back into again.

You, your husband and your son are in my prayers.

gentle hugs

katie44 03-07-2011 07:28 PM

Thankyou, you know I was speaking to a women at work today and I mentioned how pleased we were where he is. She thought I was off my rocker. Oh the insanity of it all ! I pray it may be a wake up call, however I am quite aware of the long road ahead for him. He called today nearly having a heart attack," I need to get someone to bail him out" unbelievable! Hoping they try him all his charges and deal with it now. Im in a good place right now and feel at peace in a long time.

mooselips 03-07-2011 07:51 PM

Katie,
I know exactly how you're feeling.....it's an Ahhhhhh...kind of thing.

Enjoy the relief for as long as you can.....

hugs,


from one mom to another.....

rose 03-07-2011 08:28 PM

Katie,

I have said this before and I will say it again, when the chaos started with my exah I was in protection mode and feared he would end up in jail...he did of course, in time (2days...LOL) there was peace and I feared the day he got out!

I really had to smirk, only to imagine the look on the ladies face that you work with!

You have a great restful night!

Rose

hope2be 03-08-2011 04:34 AM

Whenever any of my loved ones would end up in jail, I used to feel so ashamed and embarrassed. Now, I'm thankful it's jail instead of the morgue.
Enjoy your peace. It just may be the catalyst your AS needs.
Huggs & prayers your way

keepinon 03-08-2011 07:03 AM

So glad that you are feeling peace:c031:

enodm 03-08-2011 07:05 AM

katie, thank you for your post.. My AS is facing jail time and I an struggling with it! Reading the posts of feeling at peace and thank god it's jail and not the morgue puts things into perspective.

You and yours are in my prayers

JMFburns 03-08-2011 07:12 AM

katie,

Thanks for the post. I know only too well the relief of an AS in jail. It really does make you breath a sign of relief - in there they are feed (whether they like the food or not!) and given some sort of bed to sleep in, with nothing to do but sit. Seems like a good way to go for a bit . . . after so much chaos.

Take the time to rest easy.

litehorse 03-08-2011 02:54 PM

my AS is serving time in prison right now and he acknowledges that it is actually a blessing because he knew the alternative for him and i think he felt it was not that far away when he was arrested this time - i cannot tell you how good he looks - he looks healthy and his smile is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen - there was a time when the thought of my precious son in prison would have absolutely taken me down but now i also am just so thankful that he is safe and sober instead of where he was or where he was headed - take this time to rest

Justfor1 03-08-2011 05:26 PM

As a recovering addict and "frequent flyer" of jail, drugs are easily obtained inside jail/prison. They also make homemade alcohol so if one chooses to they can still feed their addiction while incarcerated.

Seren 03-08-2011 06:14 PM


Originally Posted by Justfor1 (Post 2891325)
As a recovering addict and "frequent flyer" of jail, drugs are easily obtained inside jail/prison. They also make homemade alcohol so if one chooses to they can still feed their addiction while incarcerated.

May I ask what point you are trying to make?

Yes, we know that it is possible, but it is not 100% everywhere. Many of our out of control loved ones have been living under bridges or in crack houses. Frankly, I would prefer prison to a crack house any day.

I'm sorry that you still have so much resentment at having to go to prison, Justfor1. But if our addicted loved ones had not broken the law, they would not be there. Action/Consequence. We did not put the bottle to their lips. We did not put the pipe in their mouths and light the match. We did not tell them to go rob someone or drive drunk or forge checks to get money.

It breaks our hearts to see them there, but truly, for sooo many of us, it is a huge relief.

Hugs, HG

Impurrfect 03-08-2011 07:32 PM

As someone who has also been in jail, more than a few times, I never had drugs made available. Yes, some of the girls once got hold of some cigarettes, and tried to use the electrical outlet and something else to light the darned thing, but they were caught.

I've heard that there are drugs in jails and prisons. When I was in jail, wanting to use, with guards all around and my freedom at risk, just wasn't even a consideration.

The officer at the diversion center, where I was last locked up, told us "we don't WANT to make you like it here, we don't WANT you to be comfortable...we WANT you to hate it so much that you'll straighten out your life and not come back".

It worked for me:)

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Kindeyes 03-08-2011 07:49 PM


Originally Posted by Justfor1 (Post 2891325)
As a recovering addict and "frequent flyer" of jail, drugs are easily obtained inside jail/prison. They also make homemade alcohol so if one chooses to they can still feed their addiction while incarcerated.

I'm not sure that this was the appropriate thread to post that comment in. In some small way, I wanted to stay in the comfort of my denial.

Justfor1 03-08-2011 09:41 PM

[QUOTE=hydrogirl;2891400]May I ask what point you are trying to make?

I guess the point I was making that jail/prison is not always a bottom for an addict. Hopefully it is for every ones loved ones. Going to court ordered treatment is usually a good thing and positive thing. I apologize for upsetting anyone.

katie44 03-09-2011 03:59 AM

Justfor1 I am quite aware that this may not be his bottom. I am grateful that he is not on the streets using, that he has 3 meals a day and a bed too sleep in. He is not conning innocent people out of there hard earned dollars. He must also pay the consequences for what he has done. Maybe the next time he puts that crack pipe to his mouth he may think twice. He has been to 4 treatment centres each time walking out that door and relapsing. He has comitted fraud atleast 100 times, each time getting a slap on thie wrist through our legal system. He thought he was invinsible! He is in a provincial jail not federal, I do not believe drugs are readily available there.If he were in federal, he would probably have access. We live in Canada unfornately we do not have court ordered drug programs as an alternative to jail, only if you are a young offender. The judge may order after he has served his sentence that he must go to a treatment centre or counselling. If he does not they may charge him with a breach of probabation. Another slap on the wrist. There are many people in Canada that would love to have court ordered treatment programs.
My point of posting was "he is safe", and if by some mild chance he happens to get drugs in jail then that is his choice.

Trinia21 03-09-2011 06:27 PM

I appreciate this thread. My 23-year-old AS is also in jail. the first time he was in, I was absolutely distraught 24/7. I then bailed him out and after three months he was using heroin. I revoked the bail (the hardest thing I have ever had to do) and he has been back in for two months. I am okay. It is because I am attending Al-Anon and trusting in my HP. My son is where he needs to be and he is ALIVE. His lawyer met with him yesterday and said it was the best visit they had ever had. My home is peaceful. I am not hiding my possessions, expecting the police at my door, and I can sleep at night. Thanks for the reminder that jail is not the worst place for an addict.

rose 03-10-2011 12:37 AM

Katie,
I am live in Canada, British Columbia and my exah was ordered by a Judge to 30 days in a treatment center, it was the only one he completed (Provincial Court) or he would have gone to jail. That was in 2005, maybe the laws have changed since.

Just recently there was an article in our local paper about the jail here, there is a house there that is called Gauthrie House (My spelling). They have started an addictions resource and program center in it and it is going over really well. There was some comments made in this article from an inmate that has become very involved with the program, basicly he was saying that he has never seen this side of life and was really greatfull that he took the step and checked it out, more and more were joining in. He made a joke saying that for the 1st time his name has been in the paper and not for criminal activity. They have had such success with it that other jails are bringing it in, this is huge!

I will try and locate the article or info on it and try and post it.

Rose


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