Divorce is final
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 15
Divorce is final
My divorce is now final. My AH who was in jail until the day before our divorce has now "moved" to a different state. He is staying with his grandmother who is his worst enabler. I put him on the bus to go there. That was a sad and emotional day. But the good news is that day brought me some closure, well, the only closure I could have from all of this.
I wish him the best but he still is doing nothing but going down the wrong paths and not getting the help he needs. I fear for his life and am trying to move on and keep these bad memories in the back of my mind. Unfortunately, they are still at the fore-front of my brain. I'm unsure if I will ever truly forge forward or move on. I do not think I can ever trust anyone ever again and, unfortunately, I will always love my AH...or now...Ex-AH.
Thank you to everyone on this site who has helped and made me realize that I am not alone. I wish the best to everyone who is here for the reasons I am and send my love and hugs to you all.
I wish him the best but he still is doing nothing but going down the wrong paths and not getting the help he needs. I fear for his life and am trying to move on and keep these bad memories in the back of my mind. Unfortunately, they are still at the fore-front of my brain. I'm unsure if I will ever truly forge forward or move on. I do not think I can ever trust anyone ever again and, unfortunately, I will always love my AH...or now...Ex-AH.
Thank you to everyone on this site who has helped and made me realize that I am not alone. I wish the best to everyone who is here for the reasons I am and send my love and hugs to you all.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Lizadeld, I'm sorry - it is a painful day, I am sure. I know it seems as if you may never find happiness again, but I believe if you keep focusing on yourself and what you would like out of life, in time the pain will ease and you will find you are on a better path. We have to walk through the pain to find peace. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 390
****{HUGS}}} to you. Wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom, but I will be in court on Monday finalizing my legal separation. There is nothing fun about any of this...and lots of hanging thoughts and feelings, etc.
I hope time can begin to heal your wounds, and that you will be able to trust someone again.
Take care.
I hope time can begin to heal your wounds, and that you will be able to trust someone again.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
lizadeld, my thoughts are with you as you continue on your journey of recovery. I am currently going through the divorce process and I know
how difficult it is to let go and try to move on from someone you loved, someone you lost to addiction.
Its scary I know and its scary knowing they may very well pass away
as my AH also is doing worse, but I try to remember the good times
and pray he finds peace and happiness, for me, I pray also that
someday I can forgive him and find peace.
someone told me that the emotions we have going through the process is
high, we have to protect ourselves and fight, its when its over that
the reality hits us and its okay to cry, its okay to be sad as you are
mourning..may time heal your wounds lizadeld.
hugs!
how difficult it is to let go and try to move on from someone you loved, someone you lost to addiction.
Its scary I know and its scary knowing they may very well pass away
as my AH also is doing worse, but I try to remember the good times
and pray he finds peace and happiness, for me, I pray also that
someday I can forgive him and find peace.
someone told me that the emotions we have going through the process is
high, we have to protect ourselves and fight, its when its over that
the reality hits us and its okay to cry, its okay to be sad as you are
mourning..may time heal your wounds lizadeld.
hugs!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
There is no doubt that divorce can be one of the most stressful and painful experiences in life. Add addiction to that mix and it's really really bad. I am so sorry you are hurting.
I remember the day I got divorced 27 years ago. There was a mixture of pain, relief, fear, you name it, I think I felt it that day. But it was a new beginning for me and my infant son. A chance to finally move forward.
Two years after my divorce, I met my current husband whom I love with all my heart and who is the best life partner for me. Our story is quite romantic and it involves jumping huge obstacles before getting married (I moved to NYC after one date with him! He lived here in WA).
Without moving through that pain and trusting my heart again, I would have never met him and certainly would not have married him.
I know that it feels so very bad right now. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to mourn the end of your marriage and feel those feelings--they are valid feelings. But begin to prepare for your new beginning and set your ex-husband free to begin his new journey. We can't predict the future so we have no choice but to live each day to it's fullest.
I understand your pain and I'm so sorry you are hurting.
Many gentle hugs to you today
I remember the day I got divorced 27 years ago. There was a mixture of pain, relief, fear, you name it, I think I felt it that day. But it was a new beginning for me and my infant son. A chance to finally move forward.
Two years after my divorce, I met my current husband whom I love with all my heart and who is the best life partner for me. Our story is quite romantic and it involves jumping huge obstacles before getting married (I moved to NYC after one date with him! He lived here in WA).
Without moving through that pain and trusting my heart again, I would have never met him and certainly would not have married him.
I know that it feels so very bad right now. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to mourn the end of your marriage and feel those feelings--they are valid feelings. But begin to prepare for your new beginning and set your ex-husband free to begin his new journey. We can't predict the future so we have no choice but to live each day to it's fullest.
I understand your pain and I'm so sorry you are hurting.
Many gentle hugs to you today
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
(((Liza))) A divorce is always a sad thing. When my xH divorced me, I thought I would never recover from it, never be able to move forward, never stop loving him....but I was wrong. Time takes time, and you don't have to have all the answers and be wonderfully recovered and always cheerful by......tomorrow! Take the time you need to grieve and be good to yourself. You deserve some TLC.
HG
HG
ThatLittleGirl
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 273
I am so sorry you are having to walk this path...but know, it does get better. I divorced my exah in July of 2010...and I am just now starting to feel real joy again...laughing spontaneously instead of a forced mode of desperation looking for a joy that wasn't ready to be born yet. There is happiness out there for you...sometimes it happens naturally, and other times you have to put yourself out there and make it happen. But all these things will happen for you! But it all takes time. I know it sounds cliche', but it is founded in truth.
Take one step at a time...try not to look ahead too often...focus on you and today and what you need spiritually and emotionally. Eventually you'll find your days are filled with life and laughter. I wish you the best!!!
Take one step at a time...try not to look ahead too often...focus on you and today and what you need spiritually and emotionally. Eventually you'll find your days are filled with life and laughter. I wish you the best!!!
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