enodm

My AS never calls me unless he wants something... That something is ALWAYS $$$$...We do text everyday, but I am the one that initiates it... He text me last night and says him and his buddies were going to the mall and could I put $10.00 on his debit card so he could eat. Mind you the night before he supposably went to eat with these same buddies that provide him his pills and asked for $20.00 I said NO. Anwyays He kept texting please mom I am hungry just $5.00.. I daid NO if you are hungry come to my house and I will feed you.. He than called my parents they said NO if your hungry we will feed you. He did end up going to my parents to eat.

That is the first time I have said NO (to him eating) and it made me sick to my stomach for a minute. BUT I have to remember the $5.00 here or $20.00 there is me still supporting his addiction.

One hour at a time!!

outtolunch

The power of no.

My daughter used to do the "either you give me $ or I have to prostitute" thing.

Kindeyes

enodm
I have had to do the same thing with my son in the past. It's hard but they know that it's hard for us and they will use our mother's love as a tool. It's heartbreaking and so very hard to say no to a request for food money. But your solution was good--you'll give him food but not money.

I'm glad that he was able to get a meal at his grandparents house. I'm sure that it lessened your anxiety to know that he has had something to eat.

gentle hugs

keepinon

When we asked my daughter to leave, we didn't give her ANY money..even if really was going to go for food(which it wasn't) it was freeing up other money for drugs and I refused to contribute in any way to keeping her out there one more day. She went to food banks..they don't drug test..they just give you food, and shelters, she panhandled..there are a bajillion food resources for anyone out there..that's not what they are looking for..every time my daughter begged,stood in line for peanut butter at the pantry,etc, she got to feel the consequences of her addiction..when she got in enough pain, she got help.Good for you for holding your boundary..you may be saving his life by saying NO..

JustMe100

Last week my daughter called me asking if she could have $10 or something to eat.
She said she hadn't eaten all day.
I let her come eat.
She asked if she could do chores for $20, we said no.
She came, she ate, she stole $100 and left.
Later that night, I talked to my other daughter. That daughter said she took her out to lunch that day. So, she wasn't hungry, her goal was to get into our house to steal money.

enodm

My son has done that with my parents and I.. We finally realized what he was doing and now they call me and vice versa.
He has stolen money from his grandparents so now he is not allowed at my house if I am not home. My parents still let him go there, but there slowly getting tired of it too.
Before my son was an addict it was easy for me to judge, say well fix it or learn to deal with it but now OMG I feel for anyone going through this!! I no longer judge or look down upon anyone going through this. I have learned so much about myself (it aint all good) and sympathetic to it now. My parents always told me parenting will be the best thing you will ever have to do, but the HARDEST thing you will ever have to do!! Boy where they right!