AlleyKatt22

So after my escapade with my AH on Monday. I confronted him later that evening. I definitely caught him by surprise. After starting off fighting, we managed to start a good talk. We went home and he told he that he hates doing this and that he is ready to go to rehab. He had NEVER agreed to this before. He's always come up with a million excuses not to go but this time it was his idea. He made all the calls himself. He is going tomorrow. I'm really glad that he is going but really sad that we will be without him for so long. I'm hoping this is the answer and that he can work through it and get clean and stay clean.

CanfixONLYme

Here's to your AH going to recovery and getting better! The longer he is there the more positive the outcome ( I'd like to believe) Keep us posted !!

Chino

Did he go?

If rehab is local and offers a program for family members, please please please consider going. They are very informative and will help steer you in the right direction for your recovery.

When I first came to this forum, I read something that sticks with me always: "Work the program you wish they would." If your husband truly embraces recovery, you'll be lost and confused if you aren't doing the same.

AlleyKatt22

He went in today around 530pm. I was so hard to drive away from there without him but I did it. He will be in detox for the next 7 days and then will do an outpatient program. I wish we could afford inpatient but thats just not feasible. The next 7 days are going to be SOOOOO long! We have never been away from each other in the 4 years we have been together and its going to be hard for me to take care of 3 kids (ages 12, 3, and 11 months) alone when I am enormously pregnant! I can do it though. I hope he does everything he needs to in order to get better. Thanks for the well wishes! I'll keep you guys posted.

hello-kitty

Detox and agreeing to attend an outpatient program is just the beginning. Actually, believe it or not, it's the easy part of recovery.

It's so important for you to take this opportunity to set firm boundaries and consequences FOR YOURSELF about the kind of behavior that you are willing to accept around yourself and your children in the future.

PS. I was in your shoes - enourmously pregnant with a drug addict as the father of my child. I took the focus off him and put it 100% on my child and myself. It was the best thing I ever did. I'm not saying it's easy, but I focused on making the right choices based on the type of environment I wanted my child to grow up in and, even though things didn't (and still don't) go perfectly, I do not have regrets. I'm being true to me and my values. I'm not wasting my energies trying to fix a drug addict when the only fix is for him to do it himself, for himself. I'm protecting his children by keeping them away from the chaos that his bad choices create.

So, I encourage you to focus on having a healthy delivery right now. And nothing else. Don't stress about him. He's an adult. he's going to do whatever he does and it's not up to you. You have no control over his choices. Your baby needs and deserves your full attention.

Keep us posted!