AlleyKatt22

This morning my AH woke me from a dead sleep and asked if he could get coffee and like an idiot I handed him the bank card. $100 later and I've had to hunt him down, take my vehicle back and he still has the bank card. I called his mother and told on him. She literally went to the house we know he goes to do his drugs at. The house he "supposedly" doesn't go to. She found him. She took the keys out of the car and brought them to me. By the time I got there to get the car he was either hiding or had left on foot. I tried calling the bank to cancel the card but because the card has his name on it they won't. I tried taking him off the account but because its a joint account they won't. WHY WON'T THEY HELP ME???? It's sunday I can't go in there and take out my money. I can't get it out of the ATM cause there is way more in there than the max allowed withdrawn. I feel so trapped!! I knew better and I still gave it to him. I'm such an idiot.

suki44883

Report the card lost. They will immediately cancel it. Other than that, I don't know that there is anything else you can do today, being as it's Sunday, but tomorrow I would go open up my own bank account and transfer money to it.

lc1972

I am not sure what your bank is, but in mine they allow you to attach other accounts and transfer money between them. I have our account set up that way so the main checking account never has much if any money in it. I have also just opened another account with ING and they will take money out of my main bank at no charge. So I have begun to hide money away where he has not chance of getting it. Just some thoughts I know they will not help right now. I would like to point out that in no way shape or form are you an idiot. Adults take responsibility for their own wrong actions what he has done is no way your responsibility. Sending out prayers to you.

Panther

Don't disempower yourself by calling yourself names. You made a mistake, we all do. Now is the time to plan so it doesn't happen again. Like was mentioned by another user, a good idea is to open a separate account. Stressing about something that has already happened will not do anybody any good. Regroup, and plan. Best of wishes.

CanfixONLYme

You are not an idiot. --- You SHOULD be able to give your husband the bank card without having to worry that he's going to go blow it all on drugs. I feel for you because I've done that a few times in the past. Yup a few times! I would 'think' he was doing okay... and then my guard was down. He stole the bank card once and took $400 before I was able to cancel it.

Yes, call it in and CANCEL the card. Say it was stolen (it was). You don't have to give details and they'll cancel it. Do it before midnight because where I bank, every day starts anew again at 12 am --- thus he may be able to take more $ out...

Let us know how it goes. Hugs to you!

coffeedrinker

AlleyKatt,

Please don't beat yourself up. These people in our lives can be very seductive and convincing. We, in our strong desire to have faith in them, get sucked in.

Learn from this.

How did it go with the bank stuff?

verobearo

yes say it was stolen and that you wrote the pin number on the back of the card. like that they will cancel it right away (and tell you not to write your pin on your card)

MissTara

Alleykatt,

I agree with everyone, please do not beat yourself up by calling yourself names. I have been there so many times with giving my exab the car keys to go get milk or something else we needed...just to find out that he was not coming back for 4-7 days at a time. Leaving me without a vehicle and the embarassment of having to ask friends/family for a ride to work or to give my son a ride to school. Beating myself up made me feel worse than I already did. We do all make mistakes, the important thing is that we learn from them. Its Monday now, I hope that you were able to get the card cancelled...