beautifulgirl

Sorry, cigarettes not cogarettes.

Also, in my decision to obey my husband's wish and bring him cigarettes I thought about my enabling his addict behavior and I thought that if I gave him the cigarettes it was in no way enabling him to do illegal drugs but if I did not it would make it harder for him to recover.

hello-kitty

Wishes are granted.

Orders are obeyed.

There is a big difference.

Hope family time is everything you hoped it would be and I hope you are working hard on strengthening your personal boundaries and the consequences of violating those boundaries so that no matter what choices your husband makes when he gets out of rehab, you and your children are in a stable place emotionally and physically.

You get to choose how you live your life going forward and the kind of behavior you will accept around you and your kids. :-)

He gets to choose too. No excuses.

beautifulgirl

Yes Kitty, You are so right. Poor choice of wording on my part. I honored his request. He certainly did not and could not order me to do anything.
I am a much stronger person today after caring for my children on my own for over a month. I love my ah and wish the best for him. I welcome him to come home if he is clean, sober, and working his program however I am reading the 12 steps from alanon so I know how to deal with him if or when he comes hom.
I am going to post a new thread because I had something great happen today that I would like to share separately from this thread.