anaserene

I've been wrestling with writing this letter for weeks now that you got out of the hospital. I'm never sure which tack to take when trying to address these issues with you. I'm afraid of "tough love" and risking making you feel more abandonment. I'm afraid of "enabling" and risking making you more dependent. I am trying very hard to walk the middle ground, but it is far from easy.

I'm tired of watching you nearly kill yourself, BPR From going to hospital when you were 15 from a Robitussin OD, to being hospitalized for alcohol OD at age 18, to being out cold for three days straight from OD at age 19, to being so out of it at the beginning of this year that Yolli said that you needed to be hospitalized.

I am tired of worrying if the next phone call I am going to get is from someone telling me that you are dead. Almost equally scary is a phone call from you in jail. Please please please understand what Fresh Meat you would be in jail. Any sign of weakness or effeminacy in jail is interpreted in a way that makes the Fresh Meat the alpha males' bitch. Do you have any idea how incredibly scary the idea of you going to jail is?

Reading your horoscope prediction scared me (you know how accurate your horoscope often is). I am terrified that this might happen to you: the forecast for April 29th to May 7th says that you will be in trouble with the law. I hope to god that this time it is wrong. I don't know if I can sit by and watch another arrest, another charge, and another conviction on your record.

I wish that you would try to seek help from a professional counselor (e.g. Dr. Crouse for psychotherapy) who can listen and work with you to be healthier, more responsible and independent. Please read that book INSIDE. I think it is on a shelf in your laundry room. Please read the enclosed warnings for Depakote. If it isn't working for you or causing the severe side effects, seek medical attention for it. You know how I feel about pharmaceuticals anyway. Please please please take care of yourself.