Hi everyone...been missing you....
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Hi everyone...been missing you....
hello everyone,
You've all been in my thoughts and prayers.
Not much is new here, just a quick update:
Youngest son, age 32, in prison in Florida for selling Meth, and had additional time added for manufacturing. So he's gone for 27 months.
Other son, age 37, out of prison since August, and he's been hell on wheels ever since. Threatening GF, calling CPS on her...on and on and on......
This morning he actually had someone drive him, he doesn't have his license back yet, to where she lives, followed her, with the baby in the car, and got out at a main intersection and pounded on the window where the baby was sitting, with his fists.
She called 911 and proceeded to go directly to the police station and file a report...this is like the 4th report...
Yikes, it gets old, and I seriously have no idea if he would follow through with his threats.
He can't control her, therefore...everyone is going to pay with threats, and disgusting swearing phone calls.
I imagine he's back on drugs...perhaps, or it's just the narcisstic personality that goes along with addiction...
As for me and Mr. Moose...we've stopped taking his phone calls,
encouraged GF to keep reporting, and keep safe,
and we're running away to Florida for 3 months.
I do have something that is on my mind, maybe you all could help me with...(so much with a quick update
)
I have been sending youngest son money to prison, and accepting phone calls.
I keep asking myself why do I feel it's right, to help someone who is paying for their inability to follow the law, but then again addiction is a disease.....
I'm not giving larges sums of money, just $50 now and then..which I could use myself.
Someone help me sort this out please.
You've all been in my thoughts and prayers.
Not much is new here, just a quick update:
Youngest son, age 32, in prison in Florida for selling Meth, and had additional time added for manufacturing. So he's gone for 27 months.
Other son, age 37, out of prison since August, and he's been hell on wheels ever since. Threatening GF, calling CPS on her...on and on and on......
This morning he actually had someone drive him, he doesn't have his license back yet, to where she lives, followed her, with the baby in the car, and got out at a main intersection and pounded on the window where the baby was sitting, with his fists.
She called 911 and proceeded to go directly to the police station and file a report...this is like the 4th report...
Yikes, it gets old, and I seriously have no idea if he would follow through with his threats.
He can't control her, therefore...everyone is going to pay with threats, and disgusting swearing phone calls.
I imagine he's back on drugs...perhaps, or it's just the narcisstic personality that goes along with addiction...
As for me and Mr. Moose...we've stopped taking his phone calls,
encouraged GF to keep reporting, and keep safe,
and we're running away to Florida for 3 months.
I do have something that is on my mind, maybe you all could help me with...(so much with a quick update
)I have been sending youngest son money to prison, and accepting phone calls.
I keep asking myself why do I feel it's right, to help someone who is paying for their inability to follow the law, but then again addiction is a disease.....
I'm not giving larges sums of money, just $50 now and then..which I could use myself.
Someone help me sort this out please.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Originally Posted by mooselips 
I'm not giving larges sums of money, just $50 now and then..which I could use myself.
Someone help me sort this out please.
Someone help me sort this out please.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Good to hear from you again!
As far as your question goes, we all do whatever we do and can live with. They (who are "they" anyway) say that we should not do anything that cushions the consequences of addiction. We each get to live with the result of our own decisions and only you can tell whether you can deal with the result of sending him money that you could use for yourself.
Glad to have you back here. Thanks for the update!
gentle hugs
As far as your question goes, we all do whatever we do and can live with. They (who are "they" anyway) say that we should not do anything that cushions the consequences of addiction. We each get to live with the result of our own decisions and only you can tell whether you can deal with the result of sending him money that you could use for yourself.
Glad to have you back here. Thanks for the update!
gentle hugs
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Moose!!! :ghug3
Dang, I'm sorry that those boys are taking the long way around to learn anything...but keeping them in my prayers.
Live is right. If it makes you happy to send money, then go ahead. If it is just guilt and worry based, treat yourself to a day at the spa and let the rest of the world take care of itself.
3 months in Florida will do you the world of good. As another northerner gone south, I can vouch for the serenity of sunshine, nature and water. And the red velvet cake is heavenly.
Love you lots, sorry you are dealing with so much.
Big hugs
Dang, I'm sorry that those boys are taking the long way around to learn anything...but keeping them in my prayers.
Live is right. If it makes you happy to send money, then go ahead. If it is just guilt and worry based, treat yourself to a day at the spa and let the rest of the world take care of itself.
3 months in Florida will do you the world of good. As another northerner gone south, I can vouch for the serenity of sunshine, nature and water. And the red velvet cake is heavenly.
Love you lots, sorry you are dealing with so much.
Big hugs
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
My thought is that we spend so much recovery time trying to stop ourselves from furthering their addiction and getting out of the way of their consequences that when an addict does finally face their own music whether voluntarily or not, we get itching to show support.
Does it mean we've taken to a relapse? I don't really think so.
He's stuck getting clean in prison, maybe your support will promote his chance to better himself finally.
You could certainly back off if your addict radar starts pinging and let a few calls go or let him deal with how to get funds on his own and see how you feel. You can control you after all, right? and it's your prerogative to change your mind.
Enjoy Florida!!
Alice
Does it mean we've taken to a relapse? I don't really think so.
He's stuck getting clean in prison, maybe your support will promote his chance to better himself finally.
You could certainly back off if your addict radar starts pinging and let a few calls go or let him deal with how to get funds on his own and see how you feel. You can control you after all, right? and it's your prerogative to change your mind.
Enjoy Florida!!
Alice
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Moose))) - so sorry to hear your boys are still at it, but tickled that you are going to FL.
As far as sending money...back when I actually HAD any $$, I did send some to 2 friends who were in prison. My dad has been sending money to my stepsister who has now gone from prison to the halfway house. He also put a little money on my books when I was in jail, and sent me books.
I don't see any of this as enabling, but that's just me. I was very appreciative of being able to buy penci/paper/stamps, decent shampoo and soap, and something besides "jail food" to eat. My bunkmate didn't have anyone sending her anything, so I always shared. My stepsister SOUNDS like she's hit her bottom, but I know we will have to wait and see when she gets out in the real world.
Like mentioned above..decide what your motives are, and do what makes you feel best.
Oh, and PLEASE enjoy some peaceful beach time, for me, while you're down in FL
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
As far as sending money...back when I actually HAD any $$, I did send some to 2 friends who were in prison. My dad has been sending money to my stepsister who has now gone from prison to the halfway house. He also put a little money on my books when I was in jail, and sent me books.
I don't see any of this as enabling, but that's just me. I was very appreciative of being able to buy penci/paper/stamps, decent shampoo and soap, and something besides "jail food" to eat. My bunkmate didn't have anyone sending her anything, so I always shared. My stepsister SOUNDS like she's hit her bottom, but I know we will have to wait and see when she gets out in the real world.
Like mentioned above..decide what your motives are, and do what makes you feel best.
Oh, and PLEASE enjoy some peaceful beach time, for me, while you're down in FL
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Hi Moose! I miss you! Glad to hear that you are heading to Florida for some warm weather. I say do whatever feels right to you - doesn't sound like it's one of those situations that carries alot of baggage.
Have fun in the sun!
Have fun in the sun!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Hello Mooselips,
Your posts have helped me so much, I wish I had some help for you.
Hmm, I think fifty bucks, if it doesnt break your bank and he can't call for more is okay.
I do love your signature and someone mentioned on another thread the other day.
(well, that was helpful)
Have fun and try not to think of this rattle brained woman in Michigan freezing her tootsies off!
Beth
Your posts have helped me so much, I wish I had some help for you.
Hmm, I think fifty bucks, if it doesnt break your bank and he can't call for more is okay.
I do love your signature and someone mentioned on another thread the other day.
(well, that was helpful)
Have fun and try not to think of this rattle brained woman in Michigan freezing her tootsies off!
Beth
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Thank you all for your wonderful recovery insight.
Just a little bit of S.R. gets me back on my recovery wagon...
And I KNOW all my answers have to come from the inside,
and the answers ARE in there if I just do a internal google search...lol
hugs and prayers for all addicts and their loved ones..
Just a little bit of S.R. gets me back on my recovery wagon...
And I KNOW all my answers have to come from the inside,
and the answers ARE in there if I just do a internal google search...lol
hugs and prayers for all addicts and their loved ones..
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((MMMMOOOOOSSSSSEEEEEE))
I have missed you sooooo much!!!!
So glad you checked in with us!!
Hate the stuff with your sons ~ my daughter has relapsed also and well - they just do what the do - just gives us an opportunity to grow and keep working on us!
As others have said - you gotta do what is healthy & recovery oriented for you!
When Ash was in jail (oh well - ONE of the many times) I decided that I could send her $20 a month because that's about what I was doing for the other girls - ya know lunches and stuff - so I had a peace about it - will ask in my prayers for you to have a peace about what is best for YOU!!!
PINK HUGS & enjoy Florida!!
I have missed you sooooo much!!!!
So glad you checked in with us!!
Hate the stuff with your sons ~ my daughter has relapsed also and well - they just do what the do - just gives us an opportunity to grow and keep working on us!
As others have said - you gotta do what is healthy & recovery oriented for you!
When Ash was in jail (oh well - ONE of the many times) I decided that I could send her $20 a month because that's about what I was doing for the other girls - ya know lunches and stuff - so I had a peace about it - will ask in my prayers for you to have a peace about what is best for YOU!!!
PINK HUGS & enjoy Florida!!
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
HEY!
Gosh how I've missed everyone so much.
What was I thinking, that I could stay away from S.R. for so long? (apply kick H.E.R.E.)
Yeah, life can be tough sometimes, but it's the survival of the fittest, right?
Peace is coming my way starting as soon as we're in the car going South!
That would be Saturday....
hugs and hugs.......
Gosh how I've missed everyone so much.
What was I thinking, that I could stay away from S.R. for so long? (apply kick H.E.R.E.)
Yeah, life can be tough sometimes, but it's the survival of the fittest, right?
Peace is coming my way starting as soon as we're in the car going South!
That would be Saturday....
hugs and hugs.......
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Hi Moosie, so nice to hear from you. Sorry about the boys though.
My son got caught with an empty baggie, a syringe and a needle on 10/10/10! He took that as a sign to quit! LOL If that's true I sure wish we had more of those dates! Anyway, he now is in rehab and LOVES IT! Trying to stay longer.
Now the reason I bring this up is when he was in jail, he asked me to put money on his books too. I did put 20.00 for his initial comestic stuff. I wanted to continue this, but decided he needed to know what it was like to do without family, so stopped. He was there 90 days.
Now, this sounds to me like your 37 year old is back on drugs. I recognize the threatening behavior! Man, do I remember that stuff! How many times my son did that. I'm surprised that he has not gotten locked up yet!
Listen, Moose, you know the drill you just can't change anything so good you're going South for a rest! Perhaps when you get back everyone will be settled down.
Damn, you would think our boys would get tired of being in jail huh? Another reason why we should never make them so comfortable by taking the calls and sending the money!
You and the boys are in my prayers.
Hugs to you and Mr. Moose
Devastated
My son got caught with an empty baggie, a syringe and a needle on 10/10/10! He took that as a sign to quit! LOL If that's true I sure wish we had more of those dates! Anyway, he now is in rehab and LOVES IT! Trying to stay longer.
Now the reason I bring this up is when he was in jail, he asked me to put money on his books too. I did put 20.00 for his initial comestic stuff. I wanted to continue this, but decided he needed to know what it was like to do without family, so stopped. He was there 90 days.
Now, this sounds to me like your 37 year old is back on drugs. I recognize the threatening behavior! Man, do I remember that stuff! How many times my son did that. I'm surprised that he has not gotten locked up yet!
Listen, Moose, you know the drill you just can't change anything so good you're going South for a rest! Perhaps when you get back everyone will be settled down.
Damn, you would think our boys would get tired of being in jail huh? Another reason why we should never make them so comfortable by taking the calls and sending the money!
You and the boys are in my prayers.
Hugs to you and Mr. Moose
Devastated
Jujubee Queen
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Well,I can't update on the hour, well, I could, but it's nothing we haven't all heard before, so here's the latest.
Oldest son in jail for the incident from Sunday.
He has called here 3 times, and we have NOT picked up the phone.
His calls are all about him and how it's all our fault. (per usual)
I be thinking this is not the way to get visitation with your child.
Ya think?
Oldest son in jail for the incident from Sunday.
He has called here 3 times, and we have NOT picked up the phone.
His calls are all about him and how it's all our fault. (per usual)
I be thinking this is not the way to get visitation with your child.
Ya think?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Well done!!! I am happy for the baby and mama that he is no longer a threat.
When you pack for Florida, don't forget the ear plugs so you can sit under a palm tree relaxing and not hear the phone if it rings.
Hugs and Love
When you pack for Florida, don't forget the ear plugs so you can sit under a palm tree relaxing and not hear the phone if it rings.
Hugs and Love
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Hi Moose, I'm relieved that he has been stopped. Hopefully, he'll get clean while in jail. This way you'll be able to have a bit of a rest too. Thank God he can't call the cellphone, right?
Hugs, Devastated
Hugs, Devastated
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