Its the weekend.. feeling resentful
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 18
Its the weekend.. feeling resentful
AH and I use to communicate through out the day( via text). This has
stopped. Once last week, because of missing pills and then today. The
usually stuff from him.. pain, pain and more pain. Tells me the only way pain
stops is when he is laying down. Other stuff is said, lies were told.. lies
that dont have to be lies, but he lies about everything. I point out one of his
many lies.. only because he told me one thing days ago and then tells me
something else today. He doesnt respond. I get home, he is already here.
Passed out on couch. Nodding in and out. Not sure if he's nodding.. sleeps
But can join a conversation at any time.. then back to sleep. I feel like the
whole point of his texts were to let me know he would be on couch all
weekend, and not to bother him.
Its hard to not feel resentful. Im a single, married mother of 3. Some help
once in a while would be nice. The weekends are the worse around here.
He is home but not really here. Thanks for letting me vent
stopped. Once last week, because of missing pills and then today. The
usually stuff from him.. pain, pain and more pain. Tells me the only way pain
stops is when he is laying down. Other stuff is said, lies were told.. lies
that dont have to be lies, but he lies about everything. I point out one of his
many lies.. only because he told me one thing days ago and then tells me
something else today. He doesnt respond. I get home, he is already here.
Passed out on couch. Nodding in and out. Not sure if he's nodding.. sleeps
But can join a conversation at any time.. then back to sleep. I feel like the
whole point of his texts were to let me know he would be on couch all
weekend, and not to bother him.
Its hard to not feel resentful. Im a single, married mother of 3. Some help
once in a while would be nice. The weekends are the worse around here.
He is home but not really here. Thanks for letting me vent
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
I always felt disgusted with my ex when he was in that state. Then I realized that truly, I was disgusted with myself because I was allowing myself to be in a relationship with someone who acted that way. I had no self-respect. Expecting my ex to change because that's what I wanted was ridiculous. He was a drug addict doing what drug addicts do. If I wanted change, it was going to have to come from me.
Have you thought about how long you are willing to expose you and your children to his lifestyle? Maybe if you work on a plan to change your life you'll feel better.
Do you know what they say about resentments? It's like drinking poison, and expecting someone else to die.
I know that was true for me because once I took responsibility for my choice to be in an unhappy unfulfilling relationship, and stopped trying to rely on an addict to be anything other than a drug addict, I became much less resentful and much happier. Even though he was still a slug on the couch, my future happiness no longer depended on him being something other than that.
Have you thought about how long you are willing to expose you and your children to his lifestyle? Maybe if you work on a plan to change your life you'll feel better.
Do you know what they say about resentments? It's like drinking poison, and expecting someone else to die.
I know that was true for me because once I took responsibility for my choice to be in an unhappy unfulfilling relationship, and stopped trying to rely on an addict to be anything other than a drug addict, I became much less resentful and much happier. Even though he was still a slug on the couch, my future happiness no longer depended on him being something other than that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 18
Thank you Hello Kitty. I know he is doing what addicts do. Im trying to work on myself by going to meetings and reading about addiction and co dependants. I have a plan. but am starting to think the time limit I gave myself is way too long.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
I always felt disgusted with my ex when he was in that state. Then I realized that truly, I was disgusted with myself because I was allowing myself to be in a relationship with someone who acted that way. I had no self-respect. Expecting my ex to change because that's what I wanted was ridiculous. He was a drug addict doing what drug addicts do. If I wanted change, it was going to have to come from me.
Ditto,ditto, ditto. Your life doesn't have to be like this. I too know what it feels like to put yourself in he Canbells Soup recipe photos. It doesn't work. Figure out a plan for you and your kids and work it. We give too much credit to the 'working man'/ 'family' analogy. If it works, it's great, but with addicts it doesn't.
Ditto,ditto, ditto. Your life doesn't have to be like this. I too know what it feels like to put yourself in he Canbells Soup recipe photos. It doesn't work. Figure out a plan for you and your kids and work it. We give too much credit to the 'working man'/ 'family' analogy. If it works, it's great, but with addicts it doesn't.
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