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-   -   Need advice, comments everything welcomed... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/218191-need-advice-comments-everything-welcomed.html)

parentneedshelp 01-20-2011 06:28 AM

Need advice, comments everything welcomed...
 
hello all, I have begin to disconnect with my AD but am having an issue i am not sure how to handle. She got out of jail on the 10th of Jan and i have not seen her since, i have had her daughter for the past 4 months now. She contacted me yesterday via text (god for bid she actually pick up the phone and call) asking if she could see her daughter. now i do not have legal custody of my granddaughter all i have is POA which means my daughter could come at anytime and get her.. Of course it would take the police in order for her to take her from me. So my problem is i agreed to let her see her last night at my house at 7 pm. well 6:45 i get a text with an excuse as to why she cannot make it tonight can we change it to tommorrow night. So do i keep playing this game putting my things on hold in order for her to come and see her daughter that she has not even tried to find out how she was doing for over a week. of course prior to this before she went to jail for a month she only saw her daughter about 3 times in 2 and 1\2 months. do i let her see her whenever she does decided to show up or do i just flat out say NO.. I know i need to get DCF involved but their track record here in town is not very good I have seen them too many times give the children right back to the parent even with proof of them doing drugs and i just cannot take that chance of my granddaughter going back to that enviorment. any thoughts or suggestions are welcomed please...

splendra 01-20-2011 06:41 AM

I don't know what the right answer is myself but I want to send you support for whatever you decide is in the best interet of the child. Trust your gut.

myernie 01-20-2011 06:42 AM

This is all my opinion from my personal experience. I would get DCF involved because then it is recorded that there is a problem. Do you want legal custody of your granddaughter? If you do I would see what has to be done to obtain that. This would give your daughter specified visitation she would have to go to or not see her. No more of the re-scheduling. My in-laws have custody of their grandson and at first the mom would come visit but now it is at the point where they go for months without a word. It has been 11 years now and I can't imagine what would have happened had they not gotten custody. As far as the track record for DCF.....I have my own opinion on that as well. I am guessing that is like CPS where I live. My ex-husband has my oldest son that is 16 because that is where he chooses to live. I have our other 3 children. I could tell some horror stories of things that have gone on in my ex-husbands house and the outcome with CPS has never been good. They have found him guilty on several charges and closed the case with no further action. If I wanted action I would have to hire an attorney, They have recommended my oldest come live with me and my ex not take visitation until he gets his life in order which that happened because he was in jail for 74 days for domestic violence that my kids were involved in. Then one day showed up at the high school took my son out and that was it. not a phone call to me or anything. I called CPS and they said there was nothing I could do about it. now I just pray that nothing worse happens and that my kids are not mentally scarred from the drama they have to go through over there. My youngest is 8 and refuses to go see his dad.

Anyway, I got off track. I would do what you have to do to protect your granddaughter. maybe contact the Attorney General and see if they can help you with custody papers.


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