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Old 01-17-2011, 12:30 PM
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the girl can't help it
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Angry &%#@&

My sister is getting out of rehab tommorrow. She asked my mom to find her somewhere to go. Mom asked her own best friend if she could stay with her and her drug addicted daughter,SIL,and grandson.

My brother and SIL had helped her find a recovery home to go to but that was not good enough for her. My mom seems very happy to be back in charge again.
I have the feeling of impending doom....
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Old 01-17-2011, 12:54 PM
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I'm sorry you are having to see that.....I can tell you this- once the addict does get on a road to recovery the codie mom gets mad....it's CRAZY!!!!

My sister is coming up on 6 months sober...my mom is moping around the house like some one licked the red off of her lollypop! It's like she's mad because my sister doesn't need her help anymore.

Sending strength for sure!!

Roo
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Old 01-17-2011, 06:44 PM
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Big hugs to you splendra!

It's like watching the playback of some about to get the rug pulled out from under them. You've seen it. You know how it ends. It's maddening.

Here, we know what it's like to not have control of the outcome and how painful it is.

Detach, detach, detach. It's my most beloved recovery tool. Old faithful.

Hang in there.

Alice
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Old 01-18-2011, 03:36 AM
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Ann
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Originally Posted by splendra View Post
My brother and SIL had helped her find a recovery home to go to but that was not good enough for her. My mom seems very happy to be back in charge again.
I have the feeling of impending doom....
I'm sorry, Splendra, that she didn't grab the chance to continue her recovery in a safe and healthy place.

The sad thing is, we have no control over their recovery (or lack of it) any more than we have control of their addiction.

Say your prayers, and I will too, God can do for us (and her) what we cannot do for ourselves.

And maybe get legal advice to ensure the safety of that sweet nephew.

Hugs from my heart to yours.
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Old 01-18-2011, 06:53 AM
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the girl can't help it
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Originally Posted by ItsmeAliice
Detach, detach, detach.
You hit the nail on the head with that one((((Alice)))

Originally Posted by Ann
Say your prayers, and I will too, God can do for us (and her) what we cannot do for ourselves.
Thank you so much ((((Ann)))) for being my prayer partner.

Well mom seems very happy now that she has made arrangement for my sister she has been so sad and meloncoly since she has gone into rehab I know her need to be needed is very strong and she feels she has to do something. I can't bring myself to tell her that it is possible for us to love them into an early grave. I am hoping for the best and not going to be surprized at anything that might happen.
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Old 01-18-2011, 08:33 AM
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W/out treatment (and i mean your mom) things are not likely to change unless your sister is highly motivated, and it sounds like she is not there yet..getting off the roller coaster is looking like a good option..easier said than done though.Sending you good alanony vibes..
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Old 01-18-2011, 09:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Rooberri View Post
like some one licked the red off of her lollypop!
:rotfxko
LOVE LOVE LOVE that!!!!

((Spendra))

My mom is the same way!! She needs to be needed and must try to control everything little detail of everyone else's life!

It use to make me very angry now most of the time it's really very sad - when I can detach and take a step back - it just makes me realize how much FEAR she is filled with in her life.

Sounds like at least you are taking care of YOU which until they want another way - that's all we can do! It's hard to see our loved ones stuck in the same ole hurtful patterns - hurtful to themselves and to others but at least we know we are doing the best we can to help ourselves and them by taking care of us!!!

PINK HUGS to you!!
Rita
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Old 01-18-2011, 10:08 AM
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the girl can't help it
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(((((Rooberri)))))))

Thank you so much for your support it means a lot;

((((MissPink))))

Love those pink hugs thanks so much!
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Old 01-18-2011, 10:33 AM
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Originally Posted by splendra View Post
My mom seems very happy to be back in charge again.
I have the feeling of impending doom....
Your statement perfectly exemplifies the behaviors I am witnessing in my own scenario. My mom is the same exact way, she needs to be needed.

It really is a terrible thing to witness. I know it is absolutely tearing me up emotionally.

I'm rooting for you
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Old 01-18-2011, 12:27 PM
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the girl can't help it
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Originally Posted by Hess
I'm rooting for you
Hey I am rooting for you too we are in this together and I hope we can see eachother thru this.

I think you have a very good grasp already on what needs to be done stay strong dear you are on the right path.

Also, know that here you and I both have an entire army ready to help you and me keep it in between the ditches. Thank God for Sober Recovery!!!! You are not in this alone. I have 4 addicts in my life and I cannot tell you how much comfort and real help I have found here. I will be remembering you and your family in my prayers.
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