Husband users and I feel guily for him wanted to not use them. Am I going crazy?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: California
Posts: 14
Husband users and I feel guily for him wanted to not use them. Am I going crazy?
Hi,
My husband was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Disease 3 1/2 years ago and if your not sure what is it, basically he has major diarreha and needs to use bathroom 10-20 a day quickly. There are three lines of defense to treat his disease and step 1 meds and 2 meds don't work for him so his alternative is IV infusion that 50% of people develop lmyphoma cancer or surgery to repair his colon.
Well he started getting headaches from those meds a few years ago and started taking vicodin, a few a day. Then it was up to 15 a day, so he switched to percocet and norco and he started taking too much of those and is now using oxycotin 80mg, 2-4 a day.
I'm really concerned because his reason for taking them now is no lobger for headaches but because he only goes to the bathroom one a day and has hos quality of life back. He has mood swings and sometimes is reallt "weird" on them, slurred speech, falling alseep at the table etc. I hate it! Well my attitude towrds him has changed and I feel guilty for feeling this way because I know they help his disease but they will also hurt his insides.
Am I over-reacting? Should I leave it be...I just feel like his tolerance is getting stronger and stronger and what will be next? I stay home with my 3 young children and feel like I can't ever leave them in the house with him with me gone in case he taked too much pills.
My husband was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Disease 3 1/2 years ago and if your not sure what is it, basically he has major diarreha and needs to use bathroom 10-20 a day quickly. There are three lines of defense to treat his disease and step 1 meds and 2 meds don't work for him so his alternative is IV infusion that 50% of people develop lmyphoma cancer or surgery to repair his colon.
Well he started getting headaches from those meds a few years ago and started taking vicodin, a few a day. Then it was up to 15 a day, so he switched to percocet and norco and he started taking too much of those and is now using oxycotin 80mg, 2-4 a day.
I'm really concerned because his reason for taking them now is no lobger for headaches but because he only goes to the bathroom one a day and has hos quality of life back. He has mood swings and sometimes is reallt "weird" on them, slurred speech, falling alseep at the table etc. I hate it! Well my attitude towrds him has changed and I feel guilty for feeling this way because I know they help his disease but they will also hurt his insides.
Am I over-reacting? Should I leave it be...I just feel like his tolerance is getting stronger and stronger and what will be next? I stay home with my 3 young children and feel like I can't ever leave them in the house with him with me gone in case he taked too much pills.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 457
confusedasalways, Im not a doctor, but know medical stuff for many,many years. I dont know why drs.prescribe (if he is prescribed) these lethal
dangerous drugs for non serious ailments like headaches, when in fact these
drugs were developed for cancer patients and other serious illness or injuries, and I certianly dont think the drugs will help his IBS (which btw my husband has that too) anyhow, it doesnt really matter anymore because its a panademic now, your not going to stop it for him.sooooooooo, like many on here...my story is
my ah started off with 1 percocet a day for headaches in 2002 and when he left in dec.2009 was on over 300 mg.of oxycodone,oxycontin and fentanyl patch.
he became a monster and still is, very,very ill and addicted, no question in my mind. he doesnt want to get help.
My advice is to keep reading on here, educate yourself about addiction and
get support for yourself..
Im sorry your going through this, but please know your not alone and we are all here to support you, you will get through it..keep coming here
dangerous drugs for non serious ailments like headaches, when in fact these
drugs were developed for cancer patients and other serious illness or injuries, and I certianly dont think the drugs will help his IBS (which btw my husband has that too) anyhow, it doesnt really matter anymore because its a panademic now, your not going to stop it for him.sooooooooo, like many on here...my story is
my ah started off with 1 percocet a day for headaches in 2002 and when he left in dec.2009 was on over 300 mg.of oxycodone,oxycontin and fentanyl patch.
he became a monster and still is, very,very ill and addicted, no question in my mind. he doesnt want to get help.
My advice is to keep reading on here, educate yourself about addiction and
get support for yourself..
Im sorry your going through this, but please know your not alone and we are all here to support you, you will get through it..keep coming here
aka Miss Scarlett O'Hara
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 364
Hi confused -
My abf was diagnosed with IBS a few years back. I remember reading books and searching for information to help him because I felt so bad he was in so much pain and so miserable. However, I came to realize that he had totally pulled one over on me and his doctors. He didn't have IBS, the whole time it was actually withdrawal. Was your AH on meds before the IBS started? He very well may have IBS, but whenever I hear that an addict has IBS (or similar), it raises a red flag because I've heard others say the same thing and I've seen the same thing in my abf's A brother.
And even if he does have IBS and the meds help, which could be legitimate, he should not be taking enough at one time to be falling asleep during dinner, acting weird etc. Have you talked to him about your concerns?
My abf was diagnosed with IBS a few years back. I remember reading books and searching for information to help him because I felt so bad he was in so much pain and so miserable. However, I came to realize that he had totally pulled one over on me and his doctors. He didn't have IBS, the whole time it was actually withdrawal. Was your AH on meds before the IBS started? He very well may have IBS, but whenever I hear that an addict has IBS (or similar), it raises a red flag because I've heard others say the same thing and I've seen the same thing in my abf's A brother.
And even if he does have IBS and the meds help, which could be legitimate, he should not be taking enough at one time to be falling asleep during dinner, acting weird etc. Have you talked to him about your concerns?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Welcome to SR, confusedalways! I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, but am very glad you found us.
You are not overreacting. Obviously he is abusing his meds, but unfortunately you have no control over that.
Addiction affects everyone in its path, especially those closest to the addict.
I'm glad you are not leaving the children alone with him. Those children need one sane stable parent, and he's certainly not qualified.
Is there any chance you can look into Alanon or Naranon meetings in your area for yourself, and find a sitter for the kids for that hour or so? It's so important for us loved ones to have a support system for ourselves.
I would also recommend getting the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It's an excellent starter book and easy to read.
There are lots of good "sticky topics" at the top of this forum that will further educate you on addiction. Give them a read as time allows.
I hope you continue to post, and know you are among friends who understand.
He has mood swings and sometimes is reallt "weird" on them, slurred speech, falling alseep at the table etc.
Addiction affects everyone in its path, especially those closest to the addict.
I'm glad you are not leaving the children alone with him. Those children need one sane stable parent, and he's certainly not qualified.
Is there any chance you can look into Alanon or Naranon meetings in your area for yourself, and find a sitter for the kids for that hour or so? It's so important for us loved ones to have a support system for ourselves.
I would also recommend getting the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. It's an excellent starter book and easy to read.
There are lots of good "sticky topics" at the top of this forum that will further educate you on addiction. Give them a read as time allows.
I hope you continue to post, and know you are among friends who understand.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
hello, confused, and WELCOME to sober recovery. this is a great place to come and visit, and get your head around things that your "gut" tells you isn't right.
the entry into addiction is a slow slide, and once deep in it, it is horrific.
there are things you can do for you, however.
keep comin back, we're here for you.
the entry into addiction is a slow slide, and once deep in it, it is horrific.
there are things you can do for you, however.
keep comin back, we're here for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: California
Posts: 14
Hi again
Thank you all for responding. I'm really happy I found someone I can share my feelings with as its pretty hard to discuss with anyone.
Well.....he started taking them after he was diagonsed with the IBD and has since gotten worse. Yesterday I walked in on him and found that he had chopped a 2mg Diladid (sp) pill into powder. I asked if he was snorting it and he said no. just licking it to make it absorb better. WTF!!!
I have a hard time beleiving that...anyways today je has an appt with a detox doctor...but then I also found out that he just purschased 100 pills of diludud (sp) percocet and vicodins...I asked him why and he said he's trying to not take oxy's anymore and its way less than what he used to take.
I want to beleive him but can't. He says the detox place was 7K and he is going to just quit on his own.?????
ugh.....
Well.....he started taking them after he was diagonsed with the IBD and has since gotten worse. Yesterday I walked in on him and found that he had chopped a 2mg Diladid (sp) pill into powder. I asked if he was snorting it and he said no. just licking it to make it absorb better. WTF!!!
I have a hard time beleiving that...anyways today je has an appt with a detox doctor...but then I also found out that he just purschased 100 pills of diludud (sp) percocet and vicodins...I asked him why and he said he's trying to not take oxy's anymore and its way less than what he used to take.
I want to beleive him but can't. He says the detox place was 7K and he is going to just quit on his own.?????
ugh.....
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