The first casualty of addiction, like that of war, is the truth. At first the addict merely denies the truth to himself. But as the addiction, like a malignant tumor, slowly and progressively expands and invades more and more of the healthy tissue of his life and mind and world, the addict begins to deny the truth to others as well as to himself. He becomes a practiced and profligate liar in all matters related to the defense and preservation of his addiction, even though prior to the onset of his addictive illness, and often still in areas as yet untouched by the addiction, he may be scrupulously honest. First the addict lies to himself about his addiction, then he begins to lie to others. Lying, evasion, deception, manipulation, spinning and other techniques for avoiding or distorting the truth are necessary parts of the addictive process. They precede the main body of the addiction like military sappers and shock troops, mapping and clearing the way for its advance and protecting it from hostile counterattacks. Because addiction by definition is an irrational, unbalanced and unhealthy behavior pattern resulting from an abnormal obsession, it simply cannot continue to exist under normal circumstances without the progressive attack upon and distortion of reality resulting from the operation of its propaganda and psychological warfare brigades. The fundamentally insane and unsupportable thinking and behavior of the addict must be justified and rationalized so that the addiction can continue and progress. One of the chief ways the addiction protects and strengthens itself is by a psychology of personal exceptionalism which permits the addict to maintain a simultaneous double-entry bookkeeping of addictive and non-addictive realities and to reconcile the two when required by reference to the unique, special considerations that at least in his own mind- happen to apply to his particular case. http://http://www.bma-wellness.com/p..._Lies_Rel.html This is a good article if anyone is interested in reading more. |
Thank you for posting this Atalose. The last paragraph really sums it up for me: "In many cases the addict responds to negative feedback from others about his addiction by following the maxim of "Attack the attacker." Those who confront or complain about the addict's irrational and unhealthy behaviors are criticized, analyzed and dismissed by the addict as untrustworthy or biased observers and false messengers. Their own vulnerabilities may be ruthlessly exposed and exploited by the addict in his desperate defense of his addiction. In many cases, depending upon their own psychological makeup and the nature of their relationship to the addict, they themselves may begin to manifest significant psychological symptoms. Emotional and social withdrawal, secrecy, fear and shame can cause the mental health of those closely involved with addicts to deteriorate. Almost always there is fear, anger, confusion and depression resulting from repeated damaging exposures to the addict's unhealthy and irrational behaviors and their corresponding and supporting private reality." |
Originally Posted by wheredoiturn
(Post 2827698)
Thank you for posting this Atalose. The last paragraph really sums it up for me: "In many cases the addict responds to negative feedback from others about his addiction by following the maxim of "Attack the attacker." Those who confront or complain about the addict's irrational and unhealthy behaviors are criticized, analyzed and dismissed by the addict as untrustworthy or biased observers and false messengers..." |
My son just relapsed for the third time. He was doing so well and he fooled us all. This time I am backing away, haven't talked or seen him in 6 weeks and just pray that alone he can face his addiction without the help from family. I'm only praying we are doing the right thing. I fear so many avenues but nothing we have done in the past has worked. I have heard so many times.....step away from the addict! And, thats what we're doing. I just wish the bottom would hurry up and happen. |
Originally Posted by Dignity
(Post 2835971)
My son just relapsed for the third time. He was doing so well and he fooled us all. This time I am backing away, haven't talked or seen him in 6 weeks and just pray that alone he can face his addiction without the help from family. I'm only praying we are doing the right thing. I fear so many avenues but nothing we have done in the past has worked. I have heard so many times.....step away from the addict! And, thats what we're doing. I just wish the bottom would hurry up and happen. |
Originally Posted by Dignity
(Post 2835971)
My son just relapsed for the third time. He was doing so well and he fooled us all. This time I am backing away, haven't talked or seen him in 6 weeks and just pray that alone he can face his addiction without the help from family. I'm only praying we are doing the right thing. I fear so many avenues but nothing we have done in the past has worked. I have heard so many times.....step away from the addict! And, thats what we're doing. I just wish the bottom would hurry up and happen. So sorry you are going through this Dignity, are you attending any meetings for your recovery? I know that meetings helped me work through my “obsession of worry” and to trust in my hire power to get me through what ever life was going to send my way. |
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