steve1840

i'm so glad someone knows campbell!
he and jung were favorites of mine, along with some alan watts.
campbell and jung though, really nailed some stuff. dream interpretation was huge for me for a long time. it was like playing out the heros journey in my dreams. i was confronted with the archtypal "evil" in somewhat recurring dreams. it terrified my to where i was paralyzed. i one dream i was afraid but i confronted it and killed it. then al lwas quiet. the image appeared again later and was still scary, but i was no longer terrified. i accepted it. we can fight and conquer things in our lives, but htat does not mean we are inthe clear. things can return or new troubles can arise. we are never free from having to face difficulties at some point. that was the balance for me- acceptance. fighting and being scared did not change anything. the dark places in our minds exist and turmoil can arise from running from it and fighting it, but for me when i accepted it , all became whole there was beauty in darkness. but thats just one persons thoughts and not really meant for here.

Live

Is it Merton who wrote "Dark Eros"? I have read that a number of times but it still puzzles me beyond belief.

steve1840

i am not familiar with that one, but will check it out. a great novel that delves into this stuff is called Melmoth the Wanderer. it is said to be the last true gothic novel. it was written by a former Irish priest back around the 1850s. I think his last name is Maultern or something similar.

liesagain

Steve,

I want to share something from a pamplet from Nar-Anon --A Guide for the Family of the addict and drug abuser.

This line really stuck with me -----

"the drug dependent person is propelled along the progress of the disease when those close to him are unable to cope with the anxiety he has aroused."

Meaning, my inability to deal with my anxiety over my husbands addiction--------my fear for him, my wanting to help him, to make sure he "knows" I love him----MY inability to deal with MY ANXIETY----was propelling my husband along the progression of HIS illness/disease/addiction.

We come here to SR asking what we can do to help them -- and we are told many things "let go" "detach" the list goes on.........but what each and every one of those things mean to me is I HAVE to fix ME because until I fix me and change how I react and respond I am not better than the dealers, contributing to the progression of his disease
I'm not a great typist and it would take me days to type the entire pamplet, maybe you could find yourself a Nar-anon meeting and pick one up

wicked

Wow, liesagain.
Amazingly, this never occured to me.
What did I think all my hand wringing was gonna do?
Bring on the miracle?
Hardly had that effect. Drove him further away.

good god.
I learn something every day.

thank you
Beth

steve1840

thanks liesagain. i am glad that i am finally understanding what you posted. i remember people here always asking me what i was doing for my recovery. i sort of understood what they meant, but didnt FEEL it. this week i have definately started feeling how my life is slipping away again and I need to recover. i also recently began to FEEL that by giving any amount of money i am part of what keeps her down. she won't stop using because i wont give money, but by not giving it i separate myself from the dealers, hustlers, etc. for a while i was in that world with her. i was part of that world. now, i am stepping out again. on foot out, the other lifting off the ground.

that just made me think of this-

there is the quote of the first step being the hardest, or the first step being "one giant step..." but i just saw it from a ndifferent angle. taking the first step out of this situation, isn't all that hard when you still have another in the situation. that second foot keps you safely there to lean back on. lifting THAT foot and taking the step to the other side is more difficult because you are completly taking yourself out of it. its like the addict who throws away the drugs but not the paraphernalia.