We always come crawling back...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 11
We always come crawling back...
Hi there beautiful people,
I've posted once or twice here in the past about my boyfriend's opiate addictions and my struggles to understand them - last time I posted here I got answers that were so honest and truthful that I didn't want to hear it - so instead of taking on board your advice, I left and thought I knew better. How silly I was.
A big part of me hoped that addiction was only a passing phase in his life. Some sort of big hurdle he had to overcome on his own or with me as his back-up.
But now I get it - My boyfriend is an addict, and quite frankly it freakin' sucks. I mean, he hasn't used his drug of choice (opiates/heroine etc) for a year and four monthsish but it doesn't make him any less of an addict. He still drank socially and smoked a fair bit of weed.
Recently he realised that if he didn't cut out weed and alcohol completely he would be back to bad habits, and has since stopped smoking weed (it's been a couple months now) and he made a commitment to also stop drinking alcohol on Jan 1 2011.
As of today he is six days sober and I love him for it. I'm so proud of him, but at the same time I'm preparing myself for disappointment.
He told me New Years Eve that he may retreat into his head a lot more and become a bit distant and told me not to take it personally.
I love this boy with all my heart, and I want to be there for him. I want to see him happy, and I want to see him rid of this god damn disease...I just hope my heart and I can handle everything he's gonna throw my way.
I've posted once or twice here in the past about my boyfriend's opiate addictions and my struggles to understand them - last time I posted here I got answers that were so honest and truthful that I didn't want to hear it - so instead of taking on board your advice, I left and thought I knew better. How silly I was.
A big part of me hoped that addiction was only a passing phase in his life. Some sort of big hurdle he had to overcome on his own or with me as his back-up.
But now I get it - My boyfriend is an addict, and quite frankly it freakin' sucks. I mean, he hasn't used his drug of choice (opiates/heroine etc) for a year and four monthsish but it doesn't make him any less of an addict. He still drank socially and smoked a fair bit of weed.
Recently he realised that if he didn't cut out weed and alcohol completely he would be back to bad habits, and has since stopped smoking weed (it's been a couple months now) and he made a commitment to also stop drinking alcohol on Jan 1 2011.
As of today he is six days sober and I love him for it. I'm so proud of him, but at the same time I'm preparing myself for disappointment.
He told me New Years Eve that he may retreat into his head a lot more and become a bit distant and told me not to take it personally.
I love this boy with all my heart, and I want to be there for him. I want to see him happy, and I want to see him rid of this god damn disease...I just hope my heart and I can handle everything he's gonna throw my way.
work in progress
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
But now I get it - My boyfriend is an addict, and quite frankly it freakin' sucks. I mean, he hasn't used his drug of choice (opiates/heroine etc) for a year and four monthsish but it doesn't make him any less of an addict. He still drank socially and smoked a fair bit of weed.
You're correct. He s an addict.
Sobriety implies that he is working a solid program...every day of his life.
Trading one addiction for another isn't being sober.
It's a case of the F'its.
I was with an opiate addict for 10 years...
Been through DT's with him...the worst was when he tried to stop cold turkey from Methadone. That was a living nightmare...and hell for any human to have to go through.
Went right back to pills again after that. I've seen him go through withdrawals so many times. It is very painful, and very frightening...and most of the time they will return to using to make the pain stop. The fear of having to go through that, in itself can sometimes keep them "hooked". Not to mention, that they haven't hit bottom yet.
So how EXACTLY did your boyfriend get off opiates?
Is he in a program?
Or is he just telling you that he hasn't taken pills or heroin?
I'm preparing myself for disappointment....I just hope my heart and I can handle everything he's gonna throw my way.
Unless he's working a solid program, you might want to buckle your seat belt.
We're here.
Glad you came back.
You're correct. He s an addict.
Sobriety implies that he is working a solid program...every day of his life.
Trading one addiction for another isn't being sober.
It's a case of the F'its.
I was with an opiate addict for 10 years...
Been through DT's with him...the worst was when he tried to stop cold turkey from Methadone. That was a living nightmare...and hell for any human to have to go through.
Went right back to pills again after that. I've seen him go through withdrawals so many times. It is very painful, and very frightening...and most of the time they will return to using to make the pain stop. The fear of having to go through that, in itself can sometimes keep them "hooked". Not to mention, that they haven't hit bottom yet.
So how EXACTLY did your boyfriend get off opiates?
Is he in a program?
Or is he just telling you that he hasn't taken pills or heroin?
I'm preparing myself for disappointment....I just hope my heart and I can handle everything he's gonna throw my way.
Unless he's working a solid program, you might want to buckle your seat belt.
We're here.
Glad you came back.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Welcome (back) to SR.
Just as it takes the addict a few runs at recovery (or more), we can be just as entrenched in our addiction (to them and how to fix them).
It is really hard to hear the tough stuff. And sometimes we just aren't ready to hear it. We have to go through whatever we have to go through before we can embrace our own commitment to our own recovery.
You're right. Addiction is the pits. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And I wouldn't wish loving an addict on anyone either.
I hope that 2011 will be a good year for you and your loved one and that you are both able to find peace and joy.
gentle hugs
Just as it takes the addict a few runs at recovery (or more), we can be just as entrenched in our addiction (to them and how to fix them).
It is really hard to hear the tough stuff. And sometimes we just aren't ready to hear it. We have to go through whatever we have to go through before we can embrace our own commitment to our own recovery.
You're right. Addiction is the pits. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. And I wouldn't wish loving an addict on anyone either.
I hope that 2011 will be a good year for you and your loved one and that you are both able to find peace and joy.
gentle hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
The hardest part of my roller coaster ride with an addict was the end when we'd have 7 to 10 days sober and then boom. Noone else understood why i just didnt trust, got to a point I could tell on the phone within the first drink. I agree with sofacat, buckle your seatbelt, and maybe grab a parachute for safe keeping.
actually the more I think back as crazy as it sounds, the constant regular user who did not much else, was easier than dealing with the one who'd have periods without, at least I knew what to expect
actually the more I think back as crazy as it sounds, the constant regular user who did not much else, was easier than dealing with the one who'd have periods without, at least I knew what to expect
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