"A Family of Chronic Relapsers"
 

I found out once again my daughter relapsed this past week. This time for a couple of days, not just a one time incident.

A trusted AA friend of mine, who knows our family well said "well she does come from a family of chronic relapsers"

Ouch that hurt - I so don't want her to be like her dad, my ex. I know that is what he is, but I so didn't want her to be defined by his behaviors. She has cried to me "I don't wanna be like my daddy"

But so far, it breaks my heart to say she appears to be.

Maybe that it is why it hurt so much . . .

It doesn't matter how many years of recovery I have, how many times I have been a "speaker", how many people I sponsor, how many times I work the steps, or blah, blah, blah ~ It never takes away the pain of hearing about your loved one going back out.

I know I have to keep on Living, enjoying the blessings that I have (and I do have so many!!!!) and "beef up" my recovery ~ I have to keep on doing the Next Right Thing.

I have to say "NO" to the Ritaville thinking that says
"I mailed her Christmas Card with the check for some extra money for them to help out a little with Christmas, geez I hope she didn't use that money for the relapse"

I didn't send her money a few weeks ago when she relapsed so this relapse has NOTHING to do with me. It's between her, her program and her HP.

I smile on the outside, continue with my Christmas shopping, determined to have a wonderful holiday, enjoying life on Life's terms - Extremely grateful for all the PINKFUL blessings I have - even for my daughter who struggles with an awful disease - and I will not allow this touch of sadness in my heart and tears in my eyes keep me from being Happy, Joyous and Free.

I will not accept the fact that although our relatives are "chronic relapsers" that my daughter is going to be one all her life - I will hold on to the HOPE that one day relapse will not be a part of her world!

Thank you for reading and letting me share my struggles with each of you ~

May you be able to make the choice to make YOUR Christmas and Holiday Season PINKTASTIC!

PINK HUGS,
Rita

Rita, I'm sorry for your pain, I truly am.

When I was back out there, doing more research in the drug and alcohol departments after having stayed clean/sober for 4 years, I didn't drink or use every day.

I couldn't tell you how many times I did during that awful 2-month period, but I can tell you it wasn't multiple relapses. It was one huge relapse that had actually started in my mind a good 90 days before I did use.

I was active in addiction/alcoholism, even on the days I didn't drink or use.

My mind was back on that crazy bus to hell.

It hasn't been that long since your daughter used that day, yes?

She's not gotten a firm hold in recovery yet.

It's hard when you throw recovery out the window.

The second time around was so much harder for me.

It took every miserable second that I was not in recovery to get my hind end back into recovery.

Hugs from one mama to another! :hug:

so sorry rita :(...that truly was not nice for that person to say that to you, bad enough you heard about her relapse but most importantly it was absurd and uncaring to say that to a loving parent.
I hope you find the strength to get through this and that your daughter
gets back on track with her recovery.
sending you a huge hug!

Rita, that comment makes me feel sad and also a little angry as if your daughter's behavior is to be expected due to her family or upbringing.

Yep, I'm with you on that. I hope & pray your daughter will soon find the willingness to seek recovery.

Rita, you are proof that it is possible to accept things as they are while having hope & faith for better days. I'm glad you're taking good care of yourself.

Your recovery shines bright. :hug: (bright pink!)
((( Rita )))

(((Rita))) - I'm sorry ((Ashley)) relapsed, but I did the same thing as ((DeVon)) and I'm not sure she's at that point where she's really grasped onto recovery.

I don't say this to bring you down. You know my story. The year I got out of lockup, I didn't use every day...heck, there were MONTHS I didn't use, but I was not in recovery. I hadn't learned my lesson yet.

The thing is, though...both ((DeVon)) and I went through this and look at us now:) There IS hope for ((Ashley)) but she's gonna have to find her way. You're an awesome mama, but you can't cure addiction. You are giving her a great role model, and YOU didn't get to where you are without a whole lot of pain, either. We all have to walk our path.

Love, hugs, and prayers,

Amy

A trusted AA friend of mine, who knows our family well said "well she does come from a family of chronic relapsers" - I wouldn't subscribe to that theory at all. Every human being is his/her own person. She is a strong girl, and she is her own person. And anyway, she's as much you as him...and look at the model of recovery you are! We each have our own lives and choices to make. She deserves hers without the pressure of a self-fulling prophecy to live down...so I don't agree at all with your friend.

I pray that she will find her way back to the road of recovery very soon. <<Hugs>> and Christmas Blessings!!

so sorry to hear about your daughter's relapse - i pray that she will quickly realize that recovery is more important to her - i pray that you will continue exhibiting the strength in your recovery that is evident in your post - bless you as you deal with this

Thank you my precious friends ~ your words, prayers and encouragement mean the world to me.

I truly am blessed to have such a wonderful support system.

PINK HUGS & prayers that somewhere, somehow, someway one of our loved ones reaches out for the help they need to fight this awful disease

Rita

I read your post yesterday and couldn't find any words, I still can't. Please know that your family is in my prayers and I sincerely wish I could hug you.

rita-
i just read your post. i hope you are doing well and i hope this was just a small bump in the road for your daughter's recovery.

So the more I think of what was said to you, the madder I get..then I keep thinking of how may times I have said really a$%holish comments that I didn't mean that way!Lets just hope your friend had a bad case of foot in mouth yesterday...I would wash those words right out of my brain..what we think, we become (buddha).You are a family struggling in recovery ..like the rest of us.

Rita, So sorry to hear your daughter relapsed. I'm praying that she soons finds recovery and that you keep taking care of you. You are Pink-tastic!!!

Something our Pastor said Sunday really hit the mark, he said we should NOT be defined by our sins(addictions)!

Hugs & Prayers,
Chris